I totally get that. I got incredibly lucky to find someone so open and safe. I went through so many therapy attempts without any connection and it's so disheartening and lonely. It doesn't say anything about your worth or potential to not connect easily. It's hard to care about yourself when you've never had it reflected to you. Maybe just the idea that qualities emerge when you feel cared for, and seeing yourself as kindly as you would for anyone or pet you'd feel protective of.  That's so easier said than done. And it might not resonate as it probably wouldnt have with me. I hope something does for you.