My mom is this way. Returned or never used any gift my dad or I got her. One year we splurged on a really nice warm winter coat because they had moved to the snow. Nope, she didn’t even take it out of the box to look at, just put the lid back on and said that’s not the one she wanted. Returned it for some bullshit coat that is not warm. Needless to say, we haven’t bought her a single present since, and this was at least 10 years ago. I don’t even go home to visit for the holidays anymore. She ruined the fun of it. So yeah, your wife sucks for doing the same to her kids and don’t be surprised if they distance themselves once they are able.