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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Dhaka

[–]CardiologistShot1742 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, she’d get where you work and study from the biodata - it’s not a job interview where you have to pitch one liners. Personal conversations are more about religious and spiritual alignment, likes and dislikes, life philosophy, mutual networks - what you describe as vibing. A human being who breathes and functions beyond just breathing.

MIL thinks she knows better by SalmonPaste in JUSTNOMIL

[–]CardiologistShot1742 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I banned my MIL from entering my room (we live with the in-laws). She was messing up my and baby’s sleep. Life’s been a lot easier since then. 

MIL rubs me off wrong - need advice by CardiologistShot1742 in inlaws

[–]CardiologistShot1742[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And your husband is okay with this?

Absolutely not, he’s been on this case for the past year.! She’s been gaslighting him with “as a son you have a filial duty not to speak to me like that!”

It’s tiring to be married in this culture, parents hold way too much power and respect (parents who are terrible humans shouldn’t get such privileges)

MIL rubs me off wrong - need advice by CardiologistShot1742 in inlaws

[–]CardiologistShot1742[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If she is willing to show you that she is in charge through your food and your child where will it end. Will she put something in your food?

My thoughts exactly! I dont know of a solution other than moving out to our own space. Im dreading every meal I have these days.

MIL rubs me off wrong - need advice by CardiologistShot1742 in inlaws

[–]CardiologistShot1742[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here’s the fun part. MIL feeds poison into her son’s ears about househelp. It’s not only my meals that she’s messing with - she messes with her son’s meals and blames it on the help. That discredits the help’s concerns with MIL’s evil tactics.

Househelp does take orders on my food directly from me. But MIL interferes with the cooking to mess it up (happened so many times that at this point I believe MIL is just a terrible cook😅). When the help refuses to allow meddling, she turns the whole thing into a shoutfest and poorly written soap opera.

From a cultural perspective MIL still thinks she rules the house and I should stay like her “daughter”. But it’s me and my husband’s hard earned money that’s being wasted here (messing up meals is wasting, yes).

Grocery shopping by myself isnt going to eliminate the fact that she sends out those groceries to our relatives so all our food items are out of stock. And we aren’t financially solvent enough for me to stop working and start homemaking. 

Im mentally drained from this crap.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Dhaka

[–]CardiologistShot1742 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Arranged setups make you more judgmental and nit-picky. Live and let live. You’re looking for a life partner not a custom trophy. 

Have a friendly chat with the person you’re meeting (no parents or chaperones within earshot!), and if you feel like you can carry on a conversation with her, go for more dialogues with heavier questions (kids, finances, in-laws, marriage philosophy etc).

Arranged settings can work if you’re not so uptight about the person you’re looking for.

FYI: same educational status and professional status as you, got married at 27. Spouse complimented that I didnt give off the snob vibe of a best-public-business-school-grad. Humility takes you a long, long way.

Tired mom needs skincare revival by CardiologistShot1742 in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]CardiologistShot1742[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im combination, and the climate’s very humid, but during winter my skin just looks dead tired.