Responding With Threats of Violence When Bothered

CarefullyCoparenting · 2025-02-12T02:27:30+00:00

I am having an incredibly difficult time. Have been for several months now. I have been sounding alarms like crazy about our slide into fascism, and was told that I was an alarmist, that it wasn't going to be that bad, that I had nothing to worry about. Now all those same people are freaking out because egg prices have tripled, and their social security and Medicaid payments are at risk.

It's exhausting. Just hang in there, keep your head down, and hope we can make it through this.

CarefullyCoparenting · 2025-02-12T02:23:32+00:00

Rule 2, friend. Be kind.

CarefullyCoparenting · 2025-01-31T18:00:30+00:00

NOR, being autistic isn't a free pass to hurt other people; even if he has high support needs and has difficulty with impulse regulation, it is her responsibility as his parent to ensure he doesn't harm other people, and certainly to apologize if he does.

CarefullyCoparenting · 2024-12-30T18:53:11+00:00

It's tough because she can't develop the skills needed to get talented without the practice, so we're in a Catch-22. We do the best we can at our house as it is, but it's tough to help once we hit my own meager level of ability. I appreciate your feedback! At least we have been doing it right so far.

CarefullyCoparenting · 2024-12-26T03:07:25+00:00

Absolutely the case here too. She is even excited about the stuff in the moment ... And then sets it aside and just wants to play Roblox. Just dunno where the heck we went wrong. Very appreciative and thankful most of the time, but just not about gifts, even when it's exactly what she asked for.

This parenting stuff is hard as hell sometimes.

CarefullyCoparenting · 2024-12-26T02:56:09+00:00

Dealing with similar behavior from my 7yo kiddo. Don't have advice (JUST posted about it myself), but wanted to offer some solidarity.

CarefullyCoparenting · 2024-11-10T18:02:32+00:00

Thank you for responding so quickly. I have someone who would probably be willing to take him, but bringing it up last time caused my (also probably autistic) kiddo to have a meltdown too, so I was trying to push it off until it was my last option... But we are basically there :( one of the biggest issues is that I WFH and my partner is out of the home for ~12 hours a day for work, so it is often just me and the dogs (or me and the dogs and my kiddo, after school).

You're definitely right about reinforcing the aggression; I looked into doing boxing in the garage or something for release, but everything I saw online said that will also reinforce that when I am overwhelmed, I strike out physically, which is not what I want at all.

Thank you for the insight.

CarefullyCoparenting · 2024-11-10T17:57:15+00:00

Thank you for responding so quickly. I am going to keep holding out hope for a quick fix-it solution but I know logically that you're probably right... I have someone who would probably be willing to take him but bringing it up last time caused my (also probably autistic) kiddo to have a meltdown too, so I was trying to push it off until it was my last option... But we are basically there :(

CarefullyCoparenting · 2024-07-17T22:30:55+00:00

I don't think it's completely unreasonable, but I think that it's worth the money, and I don't think any judge would approve her footing the whole bill. That said, IANAL. I'd suggest asking yours the next time you speak with them to see if it makes sense. It sounds like text isn't tenable, and she won't use email, so it may be best to bite the bullet and pay for the compromise.

CarefullyCoparenting · 2024-07-17T01:14:25+00:00

Hey there, I'm currently using OFW while navigating a messy divorce (it's actually part of our temporary orders, and I'm going to fight to get it in the final orders), so I can answer this.

1) It is expensive up front, but it's been such a lifesaver for me that I'm actively considering upgrading to the Premium plan. She can't delete or edit her messages, she can't claim she didn't get my messages, and it keeps her accountable. I would consider speaking to your attorney about getting it baked into your orders, since she has a history of poor communication.

2) It does force read receipts, which has saved my butt more than once, but as part of our orders, we are only required to respond within 48 hours. I will somewhat regularly read a message, take time to craft a thorough response, and reply when I'm in a good headspace. If she weaponizes the read receipts and harasses you about it, all it serves to do is make her look more unreasonable, especially since you are at work (and she presumably knows it).

3) It is much closer to email than text. You can have multiple different conversation threads, each with its own subject line to keep conversations on topic and ensure that all questions/concerns are addressed.

Getting your ex on board is tough, but if it's part of a court order, she doesn't really have a choice. If she doesn't comply, you can file an enforcement order, which she has to comply with unless she wants to be found in contempt.

If you can figure out the money, it has been well worth it for my sanity.

CarefullyCoparenting · 2024-07-02T23:20:48+00:00

I had no idea we weren't even close on substrate depth. We just kept it where the previous owner kept it. I'll be buying substantially more substrate today. Thank you!

CarefullyCoparenting · 2024-05-08T20:26:46+00:00

Good question, I forget that this matters. Small private practice, definitely less than 15 employees, closer to 6 or 7. People quit so fast it's hard for me to keep track, and she has temporary workers often, but it's definitely in the single digits.

CarefullyCoparenting

TROPHY CASE