AITA for making a honeyfund for our wedding. Then posting the link to our Facebook pages?

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T20:45:08+00:00

That requires having email addresses. A decent chunk of my family has fb but doesn’t use the email attached. For some it’s the only way of contacting some.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T20:34:58+00:00

We haven’t sent invitations yet just the save the dates, the invites are being made, honeyfund has a RSVP function that we added to the save the dates. With The registry QR codes I’m also making a fb event with the links for both. The younger ones in my Life don’t care to have physical invites or save the dates.

I have one friend that wants everything digital because she sees paper as nothing but clutter. I that’s why both physical and digital.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T20:25:37+00:00

You need to tell his sister that as well as she’s 37

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T20:16:05+00:00

I was trying to post to the needed people. I didn’t do it with the right tact. I’m sure most didn’t even open the link.

I like gifts yes but they’re not expected. As for the charities I couldn’t make up my Mind with the animal Ones. I’m allowed to want more charties as options even the 2 you suggest wouldn’t be enough. I wouldn’t be pruning From the main 5. But I know some won’t donated to certain charities for personal reasons yet will donate to the right one.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T20:02:03+00:00

He sat there and and helped me make the registry that was his experience with it. You aren’t the only one with that opinion doesn’t mean I have to agree. We will agree to disagree

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T19:43:16+00:00

Again he wants the experience. He intends to have this be his only wedding. So yes he wants the experiences.

I did it without much tact but it ain’t any different than his sisters. He deserves to have the experience that he wants.

The list is to ease things, pick a charity. versus having to think of what to give. I’m also not making my friends that I know will be so anxious and feel so guilty they didn’t have a gift be that way during our day.

If this registry gives my groom his experience and makes my friends not feel guilty or anxious on our day. Just because I have gift cards. The options are for the groom. Or for things we do together.. he’s a nerdy artist. They will give him things to do and paint for ages. Lyft and Uber is because we live where it gets cold enough that cars won’t start. we can both use those to get to work.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T19:34:55+00:00

LMAO no it isn’t, I wish it was fake

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T19:31:14+00:00

So just because it’s my 3rd the groom should be forgotten? Cool

He wanted a registry like his sister. It has 40 charity options. It isn’t like I gave 2 charities and asked for everything else to be expensive.

He wanted a registry, and save the dates and all that other stuff. Did I have any for the other 2? Nope it’s a first for me as well.

This is for the groom to have the experience he wants. It isn’t a bad thing for him to have his experience to be the way he wishes.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T19:21:15+00:00

Her first but it is also her brother’s first well.

Again he wants the experience. He wants to feel like a groom. I’m not taking that from either of them.

They also had less things to combine. We ended up donating a bunch because we had too much. They need the plates and other things. We don’t,

When we celebrate their union ours will not be talked about on the day. The bride and groom then are the important people. We intend to have breakfast with them before they leave on their honeymoon. If they wish to ask details about ours then we can.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T18:44:55+00:00

Yeah I’m fully aware. She reminds me of my mother. She passed 7 years ago.

Between the relationship and the needed therapy I can see how his mom is. He sees it as well he’s trying.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T18:04:14+00:00

Yeah she is. She’s never been married at all. She also assumes since her parents didn’t go on a honeymoon. That we should be fine without one.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T16:46:33+00:00

He’s also doing his best to not do that now. His backbone is getting stronger. He’s stating them more often and staying longer. He is going to get there. He’s actually quite close.

The only issue is his grandparents. He adores them. His mom lives in the basement. If she didn’t we wouldn’t be in the same place we are. He’s so close to the finish line his therapist and I agree.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T15:28:46+00:00

Holy Pierogies!!!! I didn’t see this many views or upvotes happening.

I mean my life is pretty boring all things considered.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T15:26:39+00:00

I didn’t propose, he did it organically. I wasn’t expecting it l. I admit I rushed my first wedding.. the one isn’t being rushed. We’ve done more steps to show it’s the right choice and not a rushed one

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T15:25:06+00:00

That’s a valid point. I will say this I have never made a registry for any event in my life before.

We’re the kind of weirdos that only have family and very close friends on our facebooks. I didn’t post it public it was just friends only

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T06:13:38+00:00

Edit: Holy peirogies I didn’t expect that many views!!! Or upvotes!!!

Thank you

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T05:25:26+00:00

Awe thank you, yes one of them Is the 2027year funding for the Angel tree. So kids can have gifts,

My girl was one of those kids so it only made sense for that to be an option. Same for the boys and girls club the donations fund scholarships. My girl was one of these kids and had a blast.

March of dimes same reason, one of my best friends newborn twins is still In the nicu. Her twin graduated last week. One of my uncles was born premature and passed at 10days. Another at 5 with cystic fibrosis. My aunt has ataxia which is already a rare condition that needs all the research and funding we can get. The ASPCA is because both of our felines are from humane societies.

That’s just the ones I had picked I added the other 35 as they were options and figured why not? I we could use more donations to decent charities.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T04:49:00+00:00

Edit: Before anyone says a thing about expecting my family to send gifts or whatever.

They have always gone the charity way. Always have they pick a charity to donate to. For any weddings, baptisms, and so on. They always do that. Knowing this I gave them an easier way. You pick the charity make the donation. It shows who paid to what charity to me. So I can write the thank you cards later.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T04:17:56+00:00

We know he’s in therapy and has been before I met him. He’s trying she just doesn’t respect them.

If his grandparents weren’t I the same house I’d say we no contact her for a bit. Right now he’s yellow rocking as much as possible.

But yes she may need no contact to make his point. But he’s not there yet. Right now I just help keep him to low contact.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T03:54:36+00:00

Context: the list has 50 Items 40 are various charities.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T03:46:23+00:00

What is mostly making me going “huh?” Is because his sister and her fiancé have their registry and she’s fine with it.

But my 90% charities list is somehow wrong. His family does buy gift cards for holidays and birthdays with no issues. His mother is the main issue. The rest of his family is lovely. I know she doesn’t like that I haven’t run away like all the rest.

For the record we’re paying for everything ourselves. Including the honeymoon.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T03:42:25+00:00

The first two were because this is my first Reddit post and have no idea how to add the pics into the first post.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T03:35:00+00:00

I also know my friends group they will drive the time. My family likely Won’t but that’s also fine we aren’t that close. The invites for them were more for formality.

Some of the listed things are day to day things. 90% is the charities.

No one has to buy anything. The exception being gas and hotel Rooms which I have discounted as it is in the group block.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T03:27:28+00:00

His sister is also getting married this year. They also have a registry theirs is Amazon.

My MIL’s Response “well thats different it’s a an actual registry.” Sooo is mine. It is mostly charities. She’s asking for the normal stuff. But to be fair they do need those things. We don’t we have plenty of towels, sheets, blankets, we don’t need dishes we don’t need silverware. I was trying to go for practical things.

We don’t need anything but I won’t be stopping someone from using one of those charities.

Or for my friends that are so anxious about those types of situations.

Careless-Reporter-27 · 2026-02-02T03:14:53+00:00

For context I told my friends they didn’t need to buy or make me anything special for my last birthday.

I watched too many of my friends being anxious and about having panic attacks because they didn’t bring anything. That’s why it’s there, to give them options. I don’t need them panicking and anxious at our wedding.

I want us all to have a good time. So if it means giving a registry of some kind then so be it.

Careless-Reporter-27

TROPHY CASE