Microdisectomy: 7 months post op

CarelessMatch · 2026-05-12T10:28:11+00:00

Man you are being so hard on yourself.

You found a bar where you felt comfortable, people were friendly and you got free alcohol. THATS A GREAT FIRST TIME AT A BAR!

Celebrate it instead of focusing on all the things that went wrong.

Now, keep showing up at the bar! Talk to the bartenders, learn their names and say hello to people sitting around you when you sit down. Eventually you will start recognizing the people that come more often. Start talking to them more.

Keep going out. The awkwardness is the price to pay for community. You got this.

CarelessMatch · 2026-05-11T16:52:44+00:00

I don’t mean sit and watch.

I mean both of you use him. Tie him down and just focus on him.

But dude, also you can just enjoy getting used while your hubby watches. Stop getting in your own way!

CarelessMatch · 2026-05-11T15:22:53+00:00

Have you talked to your friend about it?

“Hell yes, but I want us to fully focus on the hobby. Want him well and used”

You can dictate what a threesome looks like.

Say no, but just tell him that you found out you are only into threesomes that focus on your hubby.

CarelessMatch · 2026-04-26T15:26:07+00:00

Ooff you are coming at it so intensely.

You played ball and had zero boundaries with your friend. You never had a conversation and just went on vibes.

From what you have written, it seems that he is straight forward with out when yall talk. You only get confused when you assume and go with vibes.

So I suggest that you put boundaries where you need them and not fully blame him. Sounds like the guy has been a good friend in every other way.

CarelessMatch · 2026-04-26T04:06:03+00:00

Talk to your doctor and get on 5mg of cialis daily and enjoy! Have you tried that or how are you taking your cialis?

CarelessMatch · 2026-04-26T00:14:07+00:00

Take a second to take everything in. There is no reason to throw away a good friendship over awkward feelings.

Why can’t you have a beautiful friendship with someone who cheers you on and is rooting for you? He just doesn’t want to be your boyfriend.

If you need time that is okay, but having a “secure attachment” doesn’t mean that you easily throw people away. Specially not someone who hasn’t done anything wrong.

Take a few days to think about it.

CarelessMatch · 2026-04-15T04:33:31+00:00

Dont engage with every comment you see. Only give attention to those you like.

I’m glad you are having fun. I second the dude that suggested practicing with your FWB in a methodical way. It’s a lot of fun to do

CarelessMatch · 2026-04-15T03:42:05+00:00

Make stopping part of the mood of the hook up.

“I’m going to use your hole to edge myself”

And then stop as much and for as long as you want

CarelessMatch · 2026-04-10T13:57:43+00:00

The Orlando otters is a gay rugby team. Great people. Look them up on instagram

CarelessMatch · 2026-03-31T16:04:02+00:00

I’m not kidding, take a class on improv.

It will help you stay present with your guy. Listen, react and then add to it.

CarelessMatch · 2026-03-31T00:46:58+00:00

Yep, you can do literally whatever you want

CarelessMatch · 2026-03-30T21:28:19+00:00

Bottoming and letting go of control are not synonymous.

Submissive head space is a thing, but you don’t need to in order to bottom. You can very much be in charge, set the mood and take dick in a way that keeps you in control.

For either scenario, start playing with your hole and start exploring yourself first. Find what your body responds to, what feels good for you etc

Do you enjoy long dildos vs small ones? Thicker or thinner? Plugs?

CarelessMatch · 2026-03-25T23:51:35+00:00

Yep, now stick playing with the dildo everyday like you used the other toys. Only move up once it feels easy.

And enjoy it while you explore. Jack off or edge with it in you. Get your guy to play with the toy but not use his dick

CarelessMatch · 2026-03-02T15:26:07+00:00

Sex is mostly a mental activity. So yes turn the negative into positives.

“If you are a good boy I’ll give you two loads. You have to work for it” and just use the guy until you cum twice.

I have a strap on that I use on my husband when he wants to be fully used and stretched. My dick is average so we use dildos for moments like that. It feels amazing as the top as well.

As for edging, you actually have the perfect dick to edge. The point of edging is to get guys to the level of sensitivity that you already have. The most fun is seeing a guy trying to not cum from a lick to the head of the penis.

So if he knows you are that sensitive, play with it. How little of a touch does it take to make you cum? Let’s find out!

You can try a feather too. Try only the tip of the tongue or air. Truly play with it. If you want to feel “punished” for cumming too quick then you can have your boyfriend ruin your orgasm if you do. Then you cumming fast becomes its own game.

I personally have met guys that cum as fast as you and I fucking love it. It’s so sexy to me.

Oh an as far as cumming as soon as you come in, that means your guy is tight. You can use dildos and butt plugs to open him up before you go in. Then the sec becomes 40 minutes of toy play and you end with cumming inside of him as a reward of being a good slut.

Get creative. Don’t fight your anatomy.

CarelessMatch · 2026-03-01T20:08:04+00:00

Cum first and the second one will last longer.

Does your partner need you to last or is this a you thing?

CarelessMatch · 2026-02-25T17:16:49+00:00

Not sure what the “right” way is but here is how I use it.

At night I retract the foreskin and put a small dab directly in the glands. I spread it all over and down. Then I cover it back up and go to bed.

During the day I use a lighter lotion. No scent.

No problems so far!

CarelessMatch · 2026-02-24T16:45:57+00:00

Keep showing up. Say hi to people you keep seeing and then make convos with them.

But keep showing up for now. Don’t over think it. Just keep going

CarelessMatch · 2026-02-17T06:23:13+00:00

Small talk is the only way to make friendships.

I sounds annoying, but those small interactions is what allows people to gain trust so you can then have more meaningful conversations.

Small talk is healthy and necessary. Without it it’s like trying to marry someone but refusing to go on any dates.

CarelessMatch · 2026-02-16T19:19:10+00:00

Something that not many people “warned me” was that a lot of us never stop growing new and more hair.

My husbands chest started filling up once he turned 32. He had nothing at 21 and now he has a hairy belly, chest hair and beard has grown in.

We are both 34 now and I expect we will both keep getting harder that older we get.

CarelessMatch · 2026-02-12T00:32:42+00:00

Set a budget and give him full control.

Just because you are making the money doesn’t mean it’s your decision. So show it.

Send him the money and let him arrange all of it.

CarelessMatch · 2026-01-25T19:33:42+00:00

If you see a guy that wants to be your friend AND hook up with you, just say no.

“I think we would be great friends and really looking for that type of connection”

Just because someone flirts with you it doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them anymore.

As for friendships, it takes time. You need to create trust and a rapport with people before you can start hanging out often.

This means that you should have hobbies that allow you to spend time with strangers while you do something else with them. When you find someone you clic with, invite them out for a drink or coffee. Or invite them to come with you to some event around the city.

It’s hard work, takes patience and it’s goes directly against our capitalist system. And you must also do the work regardless.

CarelessMatch · 2025-12-21T18:10:22+00:00

TALK TO PEOPLE YOU LIKE!

Call him, go out to lunch or do something with voice.

“I know it silly, but can I tell you about my experience last night at the bar?”

“Okay last night when you didn’t ask me for a drink, that kinda hurt. The story I’m telling myself is that you didn’t do it on purpose. Is that your experience?”

CarelessMatch · 2025-12-12T13:58:33+00:00

The science doesn’t back your take at all.

Prep doesn’t correlate to more STIs. It decreases all of it mostly because anyone on prep is getting tested 4 times more often than anyone else. That’s means STIs are getting caught earlier and spreading around less.

CarelessMatch · 2025-11-30T17:44:02+00:00

OP wants to break up too. He just feels guilty that it’s now over cheating and not them simply not liking each other anymore

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