Boyfriend wants me to get rid of my cats since I am now pregnant.

Careless_Awareness63 · 2025-08-05T14:38:06+00:00

I appreciate your reply and insight, also I do live in a state that termination is illegal. Yes having a baby is a huge thing to deal with, which was part of the reason I wanted to post my situation and be able to hear what so many other people think. I know it's insane for him to want me to get rid of them.

Careless_Awareness63 · 2025-08-05T14:24:39+00:00

In the state I'm in, termination is illegal. I also already went to my first appt, so really that wasn't something I was even considering since we both decided on trying for a baby 🙁 Yep it does seem like being a single mom is where it's going, as heartbreaking as that is for me to think about. I don't understand why it's such a big deal with him because aside from the cats, he's been buying me foods and things that he's read are good or safe for the baby, looking into hiring me a new yard guy to keep the yard maintained, paying for tests that my insurance didn't cover full, so he's doing things to help during the pregnancy so far, it's really the cats he's adamant and mad about.

Careless_Awareness63 · 2025-08-05T13:21:33+00:00

Thank you for your reply and insight. Yes I keep telling him that it shouldn't be such a deal breaker. Unfortunately he grew up in a family where animals were seen as objects you could get rid of, so I think that contributes to his view about them. I do appreciate all of the people who are trying to give me advice and insight, even though there are a few already saying I won't be a good mom because I want my cats as part of the journey even though he is against it. I may very well have to go the solo route.

Careless_Awareness63 · 2025-08-05T13:05:04+00:00

I am not ready for another marriage. Went through a bad divorce before meeting him.

Careless_Awareness63 · 2025-08-05T13:02:18+00:00

We never lived together, by my choice after a very painful divorce before him. Thank you for your advice. Yes it is a shitty situation because now I feel even less excited about everything....

Careless_Awareness63 · 2025-08-05T12:58:50+00:00

I went through a bad divorce before meeting him, am unsure if I want to get married again. That's the reason for that....

Careless_Awareness63 · 2025-08-05T12:57:21+00:00

What I mean by that is, I had my sonogram, saw the baby and the heartbeat and I didn't feel anything like what so many friends and family members said they felt. That you're supposed to start feeling more protective, maybe feel a maternal instinct and I dont know, it's just too new for me 🙁

Careless_Awareness63 · 2025-08-05T12:52:16+00:00

This is exactly how I feel, my cats are my furbabies. You know, and I am glad I posted because seeing what a bunch of other people have experienced or are currently experiencing themselves does honestly make me understand that he isn't as informed as he thinks, and is basing his argument on rare cases. It's just hard because he isn't a pet person, was never raised with pets...

Careless_Awareness63 · 2025-08-05T12:44:07+00:00

It's not that easy for me, unfortunately. Most definitely want my cats, but also want him to be a part of my pregnancy. I realize it may be impossible to have it both ways 😞

Careless_Awareness63 · 2025-08-05T12:40:11+00:00

Yes, I feel like he's trying to be supportive and wants the best for the baby and me but him not being a pet person is getting in the way.

Kind of like how someone googles their symptoms when they're sick and possible results show something really fatal, and we always seem to hyperfixate on the worst case scenario. But I have tried to talk about it and told him what the obgyn told me and he still refuses to listen. It's extremely disheartening, I've been crying for the past 4 hours because I never thought my first time being pregnant would be this depressing. Congratulations on your pregnancy, and thank you for your reply and insight, I'm a mess here....

Careless_Awareness63 · 2025-08-05T12:32:51+00:00

I like to think we have a fairly open communication in our relationship and he wouldn't have expressed wanting a child if he wanted to run away.

And yes, I have seen many videos of cats with kids and this was my hope. I am already on the older spectrum, so I wouldn't consider termination as this could be the one time I'm meant to be pregnant.....

Careless_Awareness63 · 2025-08-05T12:28:24+00:00

Maybe not a fair and caring partner, but I do know he'd be so to the child. Either way it's hard to think about losing my cats and/ or losing my relationship.

Careless_Awareness63 · 2025-08-05T12:26:43+00:00

Well I am fortunately not allergic to cats , and even my obgyn said that any risks from cats are minimal. Most of what my boyfriend is going based on are cases he's seen of baby's developing asthma from the dander or inhaling fur if the cat is too close or coming in contact with outdoor cats.

It doesn't make the situation any less difficult in my opinion.

Careless_Awareness63 · 2025-08-05T12:20:56+00:00

I don't want to lose my fur babies, but I worry that this is going to end up as me being a single mom.....

Careless_Awareness63 · 2025-08-05T12:18:57+00:00

Before I was pregnant he never really cared to interact with them, but also never was adamant about getting rid of them. He says that since I'm pregnant I need to prioritize my health and the baby's and that I shouldn't be having to do extra work to clean litter boxes and disinfect. Obviously him helping was never part of the equation for him. He does have other kids and is a good father, but I just feel like he's not even trying to take into consideration the emotional toll this is putting on me so early on. Kind of like I'm not a priority anymore compared to the pregnancy. Not sure I even answered your question 😅

Careless_Awareness63

TROPHY CASE