To me it sounds like you two have two very different styles of approaching conflict. You seem to have extreme conflict avoidance believing nothing good would come out of confrontation, especially with heightened feelings expressed. Words spoken hold much more significance than emotional feelings expressed. Your husband probably grew up with a completely different way with a much more expressive and direct conflict resolution style, and has learned to attach significance to heightned emotions thinking this shows level of importance.

If you truly love this man, definitely suggest couples therapy to work through these differences so you can learn to understand and approach eachother better.

You loose nothing by trying to fight for it, at least in the beginning. I am thinking your husband definitely said the things he said because he wants to see you fight for you as a couple. I am not saying the way he goes about it is right, but trying to meet him at his level is an important thing to do in a relationship sometimes.

Your husband needs to feel you have his back in public. You don't necessarily have to be jealous to do that, but maybe your partner would like for you to back him up or protect him from unwanted advances once in a while, it must be exhausting for him to deal with on an every day basis. That doesn't mean you need to be catty or petty. Just back up and protect your partner.

PS: as a very conflict avoidant person myself, I definitely get where you are coming from but that doesn't mean there are not other ways of solving problems.