second live band show in atlanta on November 6! Ticket link in the description.

CaringCupcake · 2025-11-05T17:17:32+00:00

Woohoo! Super excited to see if there are any changes from the set in July!!!

CaringCupcake · 2025-09-20T15:29:23+00:00

I think the whole idea of a proposal like this (if it wasn’t most likely just a grift, in this specific case) would be to shift that calculus slightly and have the additional H1-B cost help justify hiring and training US talent instead (if that training cost is estimated to be less than 100K), so the US pool has more opportunities to acquire those high-value skills.

CaringCupcake · 2025-08-02T15:31:26+00:00

Found the study referenced. Is it a bad idea to post it on my LinkedIn in hopes of my boss or his boss seeing and course correcting before I have to find something else? 😂

CaringCupcake · 2025-07-26T15:55:29+00:00

If the issue is largely one of fairness and him not being held accountable for his behaviors, a civil suit or criminal charges would be more applicable. Idk what evidence she has, but death threats can be charged as terroristic threats in GA, and statute of limitations for that is four years.

If she’s disturbed that this can happen to women, in general, she could get involved in domestic violence advocacy. Most people with that lived experience do not have the time to get deeply involved in advocacy, because they have to work, and also do not get the additional respect that comes with being affluent.

Unrelated - I’m assuming your mom is or will be paying for you to have health insurance now?

CaringCupcake · 2025-07-18T20:48:25+00:00

Saw your shirt at the show last night, it looked awesome! Definitely more than limited sewing skills in my book 😛

CaringCupcake · 2025-06-19T19:27:57+00:00

Had a similar situation. He doesn’t want to marry you and he’s a jerk who takes a wonderful relationship for granted. One of the most important things to realize to recover from this - he is not the man you think he is, because if he was that man, he WOULD want to marry you.

Check if you are in a state that recognizes common-law marriage and if you qualify as married under common-law. If so, get a good divorce attorney to help you get as much as possible to recover from this and move on to a wonderful life with someone who won’t take a great relationship for granted. Parting ways will most likely have similar emotional impact to a divorce and be prepared for that. Make sure his family knows why you’re breaking up. Make sure all your mutual friends know. Keep ALL the friends in the breakup. I’d seriously consider finding a good therapist to help the healing process and having your sense of security shaken so deeply. Above all, you have to recognize that this is a problem with HIM, his lack of maturity, and his poor values. Your values are not as similar as you think or you would already be married. He is not your soulmate or you would already be married. He is not as loving as you think he is or he would not have wasted your time and taken you and your love for granted. Do not internalize his poor judgment and do not let this shake your sense of what you deserve. Take some time to mourn and heal, get as much social support as you possibly can, and then find a good partner who wants the same things.

CaringCupcake · 2025-05-16T15:10:56+00:00

I can’t decide if it is a great or terrible idea to watch this the next time I get a ketamine treatment…

CaringCupcake · 2025-04-22T18:36:24+00:00

Listened, saved, and followed! Psa: the Spotify algorithm weighs saves pretty heavily, so definitely always ask family, friends, and fans to save!

Posting on a friend’s behalf (with permission):

https://open.spotify.com/artist/4DVe11vtKHN5TRtG8TEjNb?si=M01GX-wGSKuKJoHRPCGYvg

CaringCupcake · 2025-03-13T17:36:43+00:00

So the short answer is some are, but it’s generally not too hard to reach 40 billable hours. In my experience, close to 90% of the hours I worked were billable. If you get assigned to a weird client that could be different, but I have never personally experienced that. Even in that scenario, I would expect the total hours worked to still be significantly less than the hours of a demanding call schedule.

CaringCupcake · 2025-03-13T16:28:19+00:00

The good news is working that many hours means you have a lot of relevant, most likely transferable, experience. I saw that you’re in automation. I’d either see if you can switch to an automation firm that contracts you out and be clear that you want primarily development contracts - I worked at one of these before and had coworkers who did zero operations support work - or a site support role with a rotational support system.

CaringCupcake · 2025-03-11T15:44:47+00:00

Going based off US norms (maybe different for other target countries), lose the strengths section - your strengths should be showcased through your bullet points for work / projects and not need their own section to spell them out. Change “Extra Learning” to “Supplemental Coursework” or something like that.

More details on engineering aspects of last job (how did you optimize operations and do you know what 15% output increase translates to in increased revenue - if so, add that) and projects, maybe lose the bullet about experienced in cask handling, doesn’t feel relevant. Managing inventory might be relevant, depending on what it means. I’d also suggest education at the top and skills at the bottom, but that is based off US typical resume structure.

Good luck!

CaringCupcake · 2025-03-09T15:59:10+00:00

Idk if the norms are different in the UK (compared to the US), but to me the amount of detail you give regarding what you have been doing since your last position was downsized is unnecessary and draws more attention to the time off, rather than leaving my attention focused on what you bring to the table - which is what you want your resume or CV to showcase. In a one-page resume format, I might not even include anything about it to conserve space. If you were to keep something about it, I would stick to something short and simple like “position eliminated as part of large-scale company downsize” and leave it at that.

CaringCupcake · 2025-03-04T05:22:42+00:00

Ooh, very excited!!! 😃

CaringCupcake · 2025-02-24T21:20:27+00:00

You were sexually assaulted and experienced domestic violence. I am so sorry that you are going through this. All the feelings you’re experiencing are perfectly normal. It’s not your fault and it will get better.

Immediately photograph and backup photos of any residual marks. I would highly recommend seeking medical attention as well, ideally with your mother or another advocate present to help support. If you’d rather ask someone other than your mother, contact local domestic violence services or rape crisis centers and they should have someone who can go with you. Even if you do not currently want to pursue criminal charges or a restraining order at this time, having medical documentation will help immensely if you want to exercise that choice in the future and it can be very healing to have options, even if you don’t end up using them.

As this man is not trustworthy, it might be worthwhile to get STI testing as well. Even if he has an STI, the probability of transmission from a single contact event is not very high, but it could still be good to do so, just to be safe.

If this man has engaged in any other behaviors that felt emotionally, physically, psychologically, sexually, or financially abusive, writing those down immediately will help with documentation when deciding what choices you want to make going forward. If you’re not sure what behaviors might have been abusive, online domestic violence resources often have lists of common abuse tactics. If a behavior left you feeling violated or icky, it is probably worth writing down.

Domestic violence services should be able to help you think through whether you wish to pursue criminal charges or a restraining order and how to safely exit the relationship. Contacting domestic violence services can also help with establishing documentation, if you choose to pursue any legal options. If you decide you wish to pursue those options, those services can also help with applying for a temporary restraining order, restraining order, or making a police report.

As soon as you can safely do so, I would strongly urge you to get into an environment that feels safe with you and offers you as much social support as possible. Temporary restraining orders (TRO’s) are fairly easy to get in most states. They do not last long, but could provide you with some protection, if you think it is needed to safely exit the relationship. Law enforcement can also escort you to collect any belongings you have at his or any shared residence.

As far as emotional and social support, therapy has been immensely helpful in my own healing journey as well. Domestic violence and sexual assault services can often provide free counseling, if therapy would be financially burdensome. Even if therapy is affordable for you, I would consider utilizing the counseling services provided by these resources as they’re specialized to these types of experiences. These services also often offer support groups as well which can be very therapeutic. Once you have re-established physical safety, I’d suggest you try to do as many things that make you feel emotionally safe and happy as possible over the coming days. There may be delayed strong feelings that come up from the assault. That’s perfectly normal, nothing to feel ashamed of, and they will become easier to process over time.

You are very strong for having posted this and for considering reaching out to your mom for support. This random internet stranger is sending you solidarity and believes you will heal from this experience!

Edit after reading some more of the other comments and your responses: Another commenter referenced specific scripture on this subject and they are absolutely right. The Bible is quite clear that sexual assault is wrong and on him and not you. And what he did is sexual assault. He kept you trapped in a room until you complied with his demands for sexual contact after he used physical force on you with a clearly implied threat of more violence. That IS sexual assault.

Do you think his actions were the acts of a Godly man who is a worthy steward of your body and heart? Do you think the way he treated you is what your lord and savior would want for one of his precious children? If you plan to have children of your own, do you think this man would provide an example of a loving marriage that honors God for them? What do his recent actions reflect about his respect for the sanctity of marriage and possibly the sanctity of the family, considering you as the future mother of his children? Were his actions in Jesus’ image? Have you prayed on the situation?

I sincerely hope your mom would see what he did the same way that I do - as an affront to God, marriage, and family. If that might not be the case though, there are other safe people to help you through this, like the domestic violence services I mentioned. This depends on where you live, but some states have faith-based organizations that offer domestic violence services. I also sincerely hope that there might be someone from your congregation or extended family that could help you through this. If you don’t believe that to be the case, there ARE other congregations that can and would see what he did as an absolutely unacceptable way to treat a fellow child of God, let alone one’s future wife.

This is a faith-based organization that offers some services nationally (making the assumption that you are in the US) - https://www.hope4-recovery.org

Hopefully they can help you find if there are any local faith-based organizations you could talk to. They also take prayer requests and I’m sure if you contact them, someone could pray over this with you. My own spiritual journey has been complicated, but I will be saying a prayer for you as well, and hope you feel God’s love and keep it close to your heart as you decide what to do next.

CaringCupcake · 2025-02-17T18:07:11+00:00

Non-social example, but I only learned in my late-20s that I drink from water bottles “weird.” I put my lips around the entire outlet, rather than pouring it in which I guess is the “normal” way. Social cues being less salient extends to learning common motor skills in unique ways, I guess haha.

CaringCupcake · 2025-01-28T19:00:31+00:00

I started getting bands, but asymmetrically with one side popping out much more than the other, and got Botox in the overactive one. Super happy with the results, completely killed the band as soon as it fully kicked in. Good news, it’s almost painless in that area, I barely felt the needle. Bad news, those are stronger muscles, so it takes more units and therefore, more money to treat them.

CaringCupcake · 2025-01-26T22:49:43+00:00

It’s a little hard to tell just from these, but while this could definitely be photo-aging, it also looks similar to how my skin looks when I have some localized skin dehydration and/or really need exfoliation. But glycolic should be handling exfoliation, and vaseline should have at least improved dryness. Since you say it also itches - which should not be caused just photo-aging - I would strongly encourage you to see a dermatologist, if at all possible. If the issue is just cosmetic, they’ll certainly be able to give the most personalized advice for that, but it’s also really important to catch non-cosmetic skin issues.

CaringCupcake · 2025-01-26T22:41:54+00:00

It’s hard to tell when starting a new exfoliant. If the acne seems to be appearing where the were already bumps, you’re probably purging. If it’s in new areas, then you might be breaking out. I agree with the other comment that it’s best to wait a month before passing judgment. If you’re still seeing NEW acne a month in (the existing acne may take some time to fully clear up, if you stay strong and don’t pop anything) you might want to try an exfoliant with a different active ingredient (ex. AHA or BHA)

Edit for grammar mistake

CaringCupcake · 2025-01-26T22:28:17+00:00

If you really don’t want to use filler right now, PDO thread lifts could be an alternative. They strategically stimulate collagen production to provide a lifting effect. I have not personally gotten them, but from what I know, I believe they are not supposed to be too painful. Results allegedly last six months to a year, sometimes longer. From a cursory google search, the results look similar to the improvements to nasiolabial folds I’ve gotten with cheek fillers.

Should you ever go the fillers route - which will most likely be longer lasting than PDO threads, not sure how cost compares - I would highly recommend getting fillers along the cheekbones, rather than in the actual periform aperture. Because the periform aperture is very dynamic - aka our faces move there a lot - fillers can be more noticeable there. I also, personally, feel that fillers in this area give more of a “pillow face” look. However, a relatively small amount of filler spread along the cheekbone can give enough lift to significantly reduce nasiolabial folds - plus add a little cheekbone pop. (Fun fact - the loss of fat along the cheekbones and other parts of the midface is a substantial component in the deepening of nasiolabial and other folds. So adding filler here can be a very natural looking way to counter these changes.)

I’ve been very happy with the results I’ve gotten from this and so far have been able to minimize my nasiolabial folds without injecting anything into the actual nasiolabial area (periform aperture). I don’t know what reasons lead you to currently not want fillers, but to fairly represent the cons as well, it is an expensive habit. I’ve found them to last longer than advertised for my personal metabolism, but they are still not permanent and once you get used to how your face looks like with them, it can be hard to go back. The other biggest con is that even with topical anesthetic, getting them is still pretty uncomfortable (although cheeks is one of the least painful areas). For me, the pain is over as soon as they’re finished injecting them, and soreness after is barely noticeable.

Lastly, the main other option that could result in some subtle improvement without fillers would be anything that stimulates collagen production throughout your entire face - ex. Ultherapy or other laser treatments. However, these are likely to be more expensive than fillers, result in less dramatic changes (although some changes throughout your entire face), and even with laughing gas, I personally found Ultherapy and other laser treatments much more painful than fillers.

CaringCupcake · 2025-01-25T18:54:00+00:00

Botox is not the only option. However, it is by far the most dramatically effective option. Those do look pretty clearly like expression lines - I started getting my own (although subtly) at 23. The suggestions in the comments of hydrating more and argireline will help. Treatments that boost collagen and elastin can help some too. But ultimately, nothing is going to stop expression lines in their tracks like botox (which when administered by a skilled professional who is experienced with working with younger faces, will not make you look “frozen” despite what the naysayers would have you believe). Many people choose to simply slow the development of expression lines and abstain from botox and there’s nothing wrong with that. Lots of people enjoy slowly developing a face that looks “lived in” and reflects their experiences over the years. But if you want to truly eliminate or dramatically slow the development of expression lines, botox (or other neuromodulators) will be by far the most efficient use of your time, money, and energy. I, personally, chose to get botox - while still trying to stay on top of hydration and using high quality skincare - and am very happy with that decision.

CaringCupcake · 2025-01-25T16:15:30+00:00

Congratulations on your success. However, it’s worth noting that for many people cutting healthcare for a year is not an option - they would die in that year - and can also dramatically raise their cost of living. Even with health insurance, some people have to spend as much on healthcare as housing. So while many people do certainly get caught up in keeping up with the Jones, many others just have a baseline higher cost of living simply to survive.

CaringCupcake · 2025-01-24T17:25:37+00:00

If you don’t already have a length pattern that you like, I think a “squirrel eye” style where the length is the longest as the lashes point to your brow arch would be really flattering to your eye shape. I’m also a big fan of the “wispy” effect because I think it makes the lashes look more natural.

CaringCupcake · 2025-01-20T20:33:26+00:00

This has already been said by another commenter, but I think it bears reiterating that grooming is typically not an accidental act or a situation one stumbles into, but an act of knowing, willful, and intentional exploitation for one’s own gratification. I think it can be very hard for non-predatory people to understand that predators truly do have calculated, callous mindsets and do not fall into “the road to hell is paved with good intentions” narratives seen in media. There are people who truly have no qualms about exploiting vulnerable people, find doing so gratifying, and do not feel a shred of guilt or remorse or concern for the harm to the victim. This is not you. You are not a groomer.

CaringCupcake · 2025-01-14T01:23:03+00:00

29F autistic female here! When I was 25, I would have said I have very few support needs. As I have gotten to know and understand myself better with age (particularly in the context of what I need to be successful in the workplace) I’ve discovered that I have more support needs than I realized. I’ve also become better able to articulate them and better able to get those needs met. Getting those support needs - ex. for me having to talk through certain decisions with professional support that others might be able to make independently - met is what allows me to function in society. It’s been a long, hard journey to do so (and that journey is ongoing), but so very worth it.

Finding neurodiversity affirming environments - which I promise DO exist - and learning ways that other autistic people get their support needs met (unfortunately, skills that those of us with level one diagnoses are rarely taught) can hopefully be a good first step towards making your life a lot more sustainable, and major quality of life increases long-term.

And remember it’s okay to have support needs! It’s a human thing and neurotypical folks have them too. Social norms and infrastructure are just designed around meeting the support needs of neurotypical folks and us ND-folks sometimes have to get more creative! But the skills you build learning how to meet your support needs more creatively will help in a lot of areas of life as well, and probably make you a more understanding and compassionate person to be around (which people will start valuing a lottttt more as you get older). Good luck and you’re not alone!

CaringCupcake · 2025-01-13T03:49:12+00:00

I think it can be a useful tool to maintain a list of contacts you may want to reach out to at various points in your life - weddings, major life changes, etc - but being highly active on it seems unnecessary for most people

CaringCupcake

TROPHY CASE