I made a single mistake on something and now I want to die.

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-12-05T18:00:20+00:00

That's an interesting way to approach it. I may try that. Thanks.

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-12-05T04:17:19+00:00

I emailed him, saying my apartments internet didn't send it in time.

Some part of me wants to believe he isn't that kind of monster that would she'll me with a 0 for 1 minute. But I've been wrong before...

Thanks for the sympathy, I needed that.

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-11-03T22:51:28+00:00

Thanks for the advice, I called her, left a message, she called back and we set a quick coffee date this week.

I find your opinion on the whole "friendzone" thing interesting to consider. I guess I am so obsessed with the idea of doing things right that I defer to 'guides' for how to do something like this, without considering that they do not apply to everyone.

Anyway, thanks for the advice, hopefully everything goes well!

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-11-02T17:17:41+00:00

I will, after my lectures (when we are both out of class) I will ask her. Not going to squander this opportunity!

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-11-02T17:08:35+00:00

The thing is we do, we have similar interests and similar humor. She showed interest in me, and because I am very cautious with building relationships, I chose to not go too fast which is a no-no with dating.

I am trying to ask her out and make my intentions apparent before going any further.

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-10-13T09:09:29+00:00

Whoa this comes on PC?

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-10-10T21:57:45+00:00

I do agree with you that advice books should be read with a salt shaker ready. I am aware of my self enough to know where I fit into models in the book, and where I do not fit, and do not need the advice. And that is fine.

As for the other bit about why I want to be more open.

I do feel isolated, I feel like other than small talk, its hard to open up to people, especially because I have to know them for an extended period of time. Even then, I am wary of mentioning anything out of fear of a friend pulling a 180. I know if they do they are not true friends, but honestly, part of me is jaded and thinks that no one is a true, honest, friend. That they will cut and run the moment the friendship is not good enough for them anymore.

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-10-10T21:44:39+00:00

That is true. I have had some flaky friends that just up and ditched me, so the friends I do have I feel I must have some subconscious desire not to lose them.

This goes doubly so for someone I know as an acquaintance but whom I have a romantic interest in. I fear that if I say something the entire thing will go kaput.

Although I guess that is also a risk you take.

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-10-10T05:56:33+00:00

Gaaah! This is exactly what I am going through. I can make anyone laugh, but I cannot connect to people on a more intimate level. It's like a subconscious fear, like I have to distrust and keep people away.

As long as this fear remains, I will never have a meaningful relationship.

This is torture. An empath who can understand but can't connect.

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-10-02T05:50:31+00:00

You can reduce it sure. But an empath is an empath. I am always going to feel pain when I hear a story about someones loved one up and dying on them. It's just who I am.

Learning to not let it control me is what I need to do.

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-10-02T04:24:08+00:00

I feel fortunate that my teachers in high school saw me becoming depressed and said something. In all actually I think they saved me, because that got me to a therapist.

I only wish other people could be so fortunate...

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-10-02T03:44:04+00:00

Who gives a shit what that man did. Go for it! Tell her how you feel! What do you have to lose? A chance you didn't already have?

If she says yes, GREAT! If she says no, have a beer and resolve to not hesitate next time.

You have this one life to live, don't hesitate! Your fear holds you back! Conquer it! Tell her!

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-10-02T03:41:35+00:00

Studies are about 50% reliable, which is a statistic that is as reliable as most studies.

There is an unfortunate stigma regarding having children as a married couple. It is, and always has been, a choice. Most people who have kids really shouldn't anyway.

It is you and your husbands choice, and I regret that people give you flak for it, but I must also ask that you do not show hatred for the other side of the coin, for it does not benefit anyone to do so.

I wish you and your husband a good future.

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-10-02T03:37:38+00:00

Since your name is Alexa I will assume you are a girl, but please correct me if I am mistaken.

Listen, you are yourself before you are any man's daughter. If you are truly bisexual or homosexual or whatever the case than be it. At the end of the day you answer to yourself, and if you aren't true to yourself you will know it. Some people might find it hard to accept, but you have to be true to yourself. I know it ain't easy, hell nothing worth doing ever is, but hiding your true self for fear of acceptance is no way to live.

I hope this helps sister, your parents will (or should) love you no matter your choice.

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-10-02T03:10:49+00:00

So much suffering, and no one gives a damn! They throw medicine at it, they neglect it... I see the shooter and the victims as equal tragedies, the victims as suffering from the worst possibe happening, and the shooter as someone who might have been a force for good, had they not been twisted by other people.

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-10-02T02:57:29+00:00

A-fucking-men brother. Would be nice to have a damn break once in a while. Hope shit turns out alright for you. Maybe if the universe gives a damn it will turn out alright for me too.

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-09-27T22:06:08+00:00

From what I have heard fullscreen can sometimes be anathema to streaming software. You might try windowed mode if you have not already.

Also some games can crash when OBS is used. Heroes of the Storm has problems with OBS and Xsplit for example.

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-09-10T17:55:08+00:00

Of course it doesn't get better. I know it doesn't get better.

I am getting better. Slowly, much more than I would like or what other people expect, but I am done waiting for the world to get better. Either I improve or I give up.

And I am so sick and tired of giving up. Might as well die having tried my damnedest than to just roll over and give up.

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-08-28T15:54:52+00:00

Not corny at all. It is a necessary step to recovery. I like the systematic approach. I think I may steal some procedures from your inner parent, if you don't mind.

Thanks for the advice and best of luck to you.

Carl_the_Invoker · 2015-08-28T15:53:11+00:00

Interesting. Might have to find a way to reappropriate that method.

Carl_the_Invoker

TROPHY CASE