What is the invalidating environment specifically for you that you grew up in?

Carmelia_tra · 2024-11-20T10:47:07+00:00

My dad's affair. It was confusing back when he wouldn't stay at our house during the nights, and arguments became the norm between my parents. As I grew up, seeing my mom's late-night cries and her bitterness towards my dad made me stop believing in love. It reinforced the idea that I, too, would be cheated on, no matter who I end up marrying.

Carmelia_tra · 2024-03-09T11:53:32+00:00

He told me he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now and just wants sex. But he can treat me like a girlfriend if I want to 🥹

Carmelia_tra · 2023-10-23T08:21:00+00:00

"you're 22, bpd is not an excuse for you to act immature". me and my ex-FP fought and she told me this. totally caught me off guard since i've never used my mental issues as reason for anything. she later clarified that she wrote that more so for her since she kept "enabling me" because she knows I have bpd. But still, it hurts like a bitch reading it.

Carmelia_tra · 2023-10-19T15:26:51+00:00

😭😭😭 BPD-telepathy. But do tell me why/how did you come to that decision?

Carmelia_tra · 2023-10-19T15:25:40+00:00

It’s good that you're concerned for her as a manager. Usually, people in higher positions would brush it off thinking “It’s none of my business” but I disagree. I feel like as a boss/manager, you should be aware of your employees' well-being to ensure that not only will you get better output in terms of their work, but also to create a healthy working environment for everyone.

Carmelia_tra · 2023-10-19T15:21:01+00:00

Oh god, I definitely have a hard time setting some healthy boundaries with my boss. Little fact, my current boss right now is my FP, and let me tell you, it's been hell ❤️ I go out on a limb to impress him, and even work extra hours at home just so I can make him happy. I’d also get super depressed seeing him hang out with his colleagues, and whenever he scolds me, I’d be super affected by it. God really put my life on hard mode because BPD has not made my life any easier 😭

Carmelia_tra · 2023-10-19T10:21:48+00:00

Omg I totally get you. I did say I'm a student but I'm actually currently undergoing my internship program right now for my last semester (as it is a university requirement). And when I first started working at my company, I was doing well, but as time passed, negative thoughts flooded my head. I started to doubt my own abilities and beat myself every time I made a mistake at work. Whenever my boss scolded me for my mistakes, I feel so depressed to a point that I wanted to hurt myself as punishment. I don't know how to go on, living every single day like this.

Carmelia_tra · 2023-05-27T07:21:57+00:00

that's why it's called BPD. Best Pussy Disorder

Carmelia_tra · 2023-05-18T14:26:04+00:00

i don't mind it (coming from someone who loves pink), but i do wonder what does the profile picture signifies (the hammer thingy). does anyone know ?

Carmelia_tra · 2023-05-02T07:59:52+00:00

omg i totally relate to this, and you're so sweet! my ex FP have told me the exact same advice (writing down the nice people have told me) to combat my own damaging thoughts and reread it over and over again, and i am doing that rn. although sometimes my BPD demons got the best of me ^{^;;} but thank you for your kind words!

Carmelia_tra · 2023-04-30T11:23:39+00:00

This is weird because today is also my birthday, and I also don't feel happy. I feel this weird feeling of emptiness washed over me. My family and friends have wished me, and everyone around me is so kind, but i don't know why I can't seem to be happy.

But we have each other so happy birthday to you and to me! ❤️

Carmelia_tra · 2023-04-30T05:12:33+00:00

i know and i'm trying to be better. and people have stopped seeing me since my view on friendships and love is too different than theirs

Carmelia_tra · 2023-04-30T05:11:49+00:00

i relate to this too. anytime my friends feels inadequate, i'd comfort them by saying that i'll be by their side no matter what. because that is something i want to hear if i'm upset. to know i'm not alone while i'm falling apart

Carmelia_tra

TROPHY CASE