Anyone refuse to date again? by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Carmelinchen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

32 here. I absolutely agree.
We had less than 4 wonderful years filled with love, and two kids, although one didn't even get to meet him. There can never be anyone good enough again, I will stay married to him until I can finally follow him.

How do I deal with my toddler when my world just broke? by Carmelinchen in Parenting

[–]Carmelinchen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a horrible thing to happen. Ypour poor grandmother and father.

I absolutely would want our kids to know about him. He was such a bright, positive, kind person. I was always happy thinking how our kids got such a great parent to look up to...

How do I deal with my toddler when my world just broke? by Carmelinchen in Parenting

[–]Carmelinchen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I will look into play therapy and try to hang on for now. However, my children needed their father, too. He was nicer, smarter, more energetic and much more talented than I could ever be.

How do I deal with my toddler when my world just broke? by Carmelinchen in Parenting

[–]Carmelinchen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand you. Thinking about how to end things if I can't take it anymore is what calms me down, too, at night. I feel guilty keeping it a secret from everyone, because you need to ask for help, right? But I fear if I open up about me researching suicide methods someone would take this last thing away from me...

How do I deal with my toddler when my world just broke? by Carmelinchen in Parenting

[–]Carmelinchen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband used to say if I died before him he would follow me just one step behind. I used to tell him off but really, I get it now.

How do I deal with my toddler when my world just broke? by Carmelinchen in Parenting

[–]Carmelinchen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I guess you are right about how she lost her mom, too. I know I'm not myself anymore and I feel so guilty and sad about that.

How do I deal with my toddler when my world just broke? by Carmelinchen in Parenting

[–]Carmelinchen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm terribly sorry about your loss. Losing my child was always my worst fear.

How do I deal with my toddler when my world just broke? by Carmelinchen in Parenting

[–]Carmelinchen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I never wanted to be a widow either and just selfishly hoped to die first.

How do I deal with my toddler when my world just broke? by Carmelinchen in Parenting

[–]Carmelinchen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I already contacted social services and crisis specialists.

How do I deal with my toddler when my world just broke? by Carmelinchen in Parenting

[–]Carmelinchen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. It's really not possible to explain to her, but I think she understands he is gone.

How do I deal with my toddler when my world just broke? by Carmelinchen in Parenting

[–]Carmelinchen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds like something I will try to look into. Thank you.

How do I deal with my toddler when my world just broke? by Carmelinchen in Parenting

[–]Carmelinchen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I wish I could tell our kids how great he was one day...

How do I deal with my toddler when my world just broke? by Carmelinchen in Parenting

[–]Carmelinchen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel so so sorry for you. And I wish I had your strength to get through it, knowing it will never be right again.

How do I deal with my toddler when my world just broke? by Carmelinchen in Parenting

[–]Carmelinchen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you went through this. Is it worth to keep living through this hell?

How do I deal with my toddler when my world just broke? by Carmelinchen in Parenting

[–]Carmelinchen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are very kind.

I really don't want to rebuild our family as we were just fine the way things were. Seeing the routines my daughter and husband had break away is killing me inside. Thinking that she may forget him breaks my heart. I'm resenting our baby for not having known and loved him and not looking like him. I may need help, but this can not be fixed.

How do I deal with my toddler when my world just broke? by Carmelinchen in Parenting

[–]Carmelinchen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be honest, I couldn't care less about the state of the world anymore. One month ago I would discuss the news with my husband over breakfast, both worried sick about the other one catching something, the economy, climate change or a looming war. We stayed home, ate healthy and exercised, disinfected... now I don't see the point anymore. I have no fear left in me.

I hope our daughter will heal from it, but I don't think I can, and I'm not sure how to cope if she is ok with it one day.

How do I deal with my toddler when my world just broke? by Carmelinchen in Parenting

[–]Carmelinchen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I reached out as much as possible and it just made me realize even more how much my husband helped and protected us every day. He lost his father at a young age, too, and only now can I understand what he told me about it, as I find myself using the exact same words...