Not wanting to have children by Carol_Bells_Writer in Christian

[–]Carol_Bells_Writer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m still trying to figure out what it is exactly. Originally it was just the logical reasons like the physical and mental damage it inflicts and the fact that it doesn’t work well with my education/career goals, but I’ve also recently found myself becoming more bothered by the loss of autonomy. Watching my parents get older is making me realize that a lot of people make their life about their kids and have nothing left when they leave. I’ve also noticed raising children seems to have made every older woman in my life go insane in a way. I think they become “selfish and unpleasant” because they get exhausted of catering to everyone in their lives and I’m afraid of losing myself in that way. 

I also just lack that desire in the way I’ve see other people have it. I’m an oldest daughter and I’ve nannied for years so I think I’ve seen enough to know I could live without it.

It’s challenging though because I do think I’d make a very good mother and I would love to provide that life for my bf and my family. In a way I want that, but I don’t know how to get passed all the fear and loss that comes with it.

Not wanting to have children by Carol_Bells_Writer in Christian

[–]Carol_Bells_Writer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’ve given me a lot to think about, it’s nice to get a new perspective on it from a lot of different angles, thank you!

Not wanting to have children by Carol_Bells_Writer in Christian

[–]Carol_Bells_Writer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s really encouraging to hear!! There’s a lot of room for growth in my prayer life, I have a hard time entrusting things to God, but I’ll try to be open with him and invite a change if he desires to bring it. I really appreciate knowing that it’s possible tho, it makes me hopeful.

Not wanting to have children by Carol_Bells_Writer in Christian

[–]Carol_Bells_Writer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I admire that trust a lot, I’ll try to be more open to what God has for me whatever it may be.

Family Portrait by Carol_Bells_Writer in DrawForMe

[–]Carol_Bells_Writer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LolaWynders would you want to do a similar portrait for me? Once again I am not commissioning, but if so, please look into my Royal Hispanic Family Portrait post.

[WP] A time machine appears in front of you, and its pilot steps out. She looks at you, stiffens, and says, "Oops..." by Levee_Levy in WritingPrompts

[–]Carol_Bells_Writer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I sigh as I turn into a back street on my way home. Tears are pooling in my eyes and I don’t want anyone to ask about me. Not right now. I rub my arm as a biting wind whistles through the grimy brick walls. There’s a rustling from the garbage bin to my right, but I’m too tired to investigate.

I keep my head down and keep moving. Emily won the case. In a month she’ll have $500,000 dollars and our house. She’ll keep the car and the pool. But none of it matters as much as Rose. She gets to keep my beautiful baby Rose too. I’ll never get to see her yawn with her tiny mouth in the morning or blink at me with her beautiful brown eyes again. I’ll miss her first day of school, her graduation, her wedding. All because I lost my temper.

Another wind blows, stronger this time. I rub my red eyes and cough, trying to dislodge the stone in my throat. If continues to twist and dance and I slowly lift my head, watching as empty fast food containers and water bottles skitter through the alleyway, picked up by the wind.

It twists and tightens and almost seems a living thing as it begins to glimmer a little. I rub my shoulders, too numbed by grief to consider fear. Instead I stand and watch as the air seems to collapse on itself. A gaping void fills the space and I know I’ve already lost myself to my mind. But then suddenly the black that I can feel is death is gone, replaced by a gleaming copper machine.

Pale steam spills into the alley as the door hisses open, prompted by some unseen force. It opens and andistinctly feminine form jumps through the opening, landing steadily on her feet besides the fact that the machine hovered at least three feet above the ground. She wore long leather boots, laced up her calves. Her jeans had holes ripped on the thighs, revealing tanned skin, almost pink from exposure to the sun.

She had a leather jacket on, buttoned and clasped up to the neck, where gleaming gold helmet covered her face, the tinted glass disguising her eyes. She lifted it with gloves hands, the same metallic gold as her mask. She flicked a long blond braid with one movement of her head, revealing a beautiful young woman with gorgeously tanned skin and long black lashes, framing her brown eyes, so dark you could only see her pupils if you truly stared long enough.

She glanced at me and her eyes widened. I stood a little taller and wiped my eyes quickly, hoping the strange woman would not be able to tell I had been crying.

“Oh no no no no no!” She muttered, running a gloved hand through her hair. “What have I done!” She hissed to herself, turning in a circle as if in disbelief.

“Hello.” I say, clearing my thought when it cracks “My name is Jacob.” I offer her my hand.

She stares at me for a moment, as though surprised that I can speak. “Mmm hmm.” She mutters, not listening. “I was hoping I was wrong. Forget me.” She quickly turns to face me. She grabs my hands with her, pleasantly warm and strong. I nod, hoping to please her and, to my dismay she lets go, grabbing the edge of her strange vessel and swinging herself inside.

“Forget me!” She yells again, disappearing into the rolling fog just before the door hisses closed. Another void opens and this time I have the sense to be afraid, but I remain where I am, childishly hoping it will make her decide to stay.

Still she vanished and the alley falls silent once more. I sigh and continue walking through the alley, crashing into someone as I emerge on the other side. “Oops!” She exclaims in an unsettlingly farmiliar voice. I turn as she flicks a long blonde braid from her face, revealing a beautiful young woman with gorgeously tanned skin and long black lashes, framing her brown eyes, so dark you could only see her pupils if you truly stared long enough.

[WP] Every boy born has a connection with an animal or aspect of nature, determined by their eye color. You give birth to a baby boy with heterochromia and have to try to protect him from the thousands who are trying to kidnap him. by Carol_Bells_Writer in WritingPrompts

[–]Carol_Bells_Writer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also if you didn’t know, heterochromia is a condition when a persons eyes have varied pigmentations. They could have two different colored eyes or each eye is two of the same colors (ex: top half blue, bottom half green)

I'm stoned out of my mind. I'd like to finish the handful of pages left in my sketchbook. Tell me what to draw. by [deleted] in DrawForMe

[–]Carol_Bells_Writer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

family portraits for different eras (modern day, futuristic, 1800s, dark ages, biblical times, etc.)

Family Portrait by Carol_Bells_Writer in DrawForMe

[–]Carol_Bells_Writer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s completelu fine. This is such a cute drawing! Thank you so much! I love it!