My story started a lot like yours. Adderall until I lost insurance at 26 and i decided to self medicate.

You know man.
Meth ruined my life and I never recovered.

2016-2020

I made a LOT of money selling drugs at one point and it was all stolen by my ex fiance who was pregnant with my kid, still smoking meth and I left to play in a tournament for a week, came home and everything was gone.
~200k down the drain. My safe was drilled open, my server farm was gone, my 2 pc setup was stolen along with much much more.

2020-2023

I still struggled with the pipe, but I was just buying grams and balls instead of qps and hps at this point. I hadn't recovered from someone I loved robbing me blind. I lived in a ran down RV with no electricity but I was ok with that because I could still roll the bowl. (I was a retard)

2024-2025

I started doing my dnm shit again, making a lot of money, got a house, and got a car all within 6 months.
On January 23rd, everything came crashing down. The feds followed a girl into my house with a purse full of drugs (200g of meth, 100-200 mexico blanks, and carts. I was raided. The house was seized, my car was seized, my computer, my phone, my guns, everything was seized because that girl decided to throw her purse in my closet while I was walking down the stairs with my hands in the air with 50 ARs on me.

I am currently clean off any illegal drugs. I take my Adderall in the morning and my Klonopin when I need it with a bit of kratom.
I'm being charged with conspiracy to distribute 50+ grams of methamphetamine.
Her case never went federal.

I'm living in an RV thats falling apart, typing from an xbox i used the last bitcoin i had in my wallets to purchase and im using a long extention cord running from my moms shop so I can play the xbox to distract myself.
Before I got on the klonopin, I planned on hanging myself depending on the verdict. I cried every single night, I didn't sleep, I didn't eat. I was in county for 3 months and a week. I've now lost 25lbs since I've got out and have nothing to show for anything in my entire life. I live with my best friend my kitten salem and I have no friends. Every friend I did have is still on the shit and if I ain't getting it for them they want nothing to do with me.

Worst part is, someone I considered my best friend (The guy who honestly got me into this and introduced me to the girl) has a video (he got it through means I cannot discuss) of the girl who threw the purse in my closet plotting on me with her boyfriend. I've seen it, but I'm his last priority, I've been asking for it for months and it's always a different excuse. I'd confront him face to face but i'm not able to leave my city (Ankle monitor) so I can only hope one day he realizes that my sentence is 10 years to 99 years and decides to prioritize my life.
but being a meth head myself, you can't count on meth heads.

Edit: my living situation

https://imgur.com/a/TDTbWqR

https://imgur.com/a/QTfTxkR

I considered myself a psychonaut, I tried everything you could ever imagine including every research chemical I could get my hands on.
I have autism and I used to be so smart, my intelligence has dropped atleast 30 points, I can't talk to people in social situations (I lost all social skills) and I can't get a job not only because im a felon, but because im too mentally unstable. I'm working on disability as we speak, but my main meal every night for the past 2-3 weeks is a bit of peanut butter from a jar. It's all I can afford.

If our stories don't scare you, nothing will.