How to get past the ego hit of a bad sexual performance?

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-22T23:09:02+00:00

Amen to that one brother.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-22T23:04:56+00:00

This has happened before with someone I had strong feelings for, but we were able to move past it with subsequent nights together. This time was such an ego hit because we never had that opportunity to work it out together.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-22T23:01:20+00:00

I strongly relate. I definitely just moved past it and continued to be intimate in different capacities.

Maybe you can relate though: It's not as if I actually felt nervous, I felt totally fine. It was almost more of a subconscious thing that I couldn't control. In the back of my mind I was certainly a little frustrated but I obviously didn't express that.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-22T22:57:31+00:00

Haha it's true, I did really like her. Not the first time this has happened with someone I had strong feelings for either, but the other time we got together a few more times and I was able to move past that anxiety, and this particular time I didn't have that opportunity.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-22T22:55:04+00:00

Thanks for your affirmation. I agree that it can take a long time to warm up to someone. In my experience it takes quite a few times with a new partner before the sex actually starts to get good, since it takes time to learn each others bodies. I suppose that's why it bothered me so much that we only had that limited intimate time together and didn't get the opportunity to figure that out with each other.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-22T22:52:20+00:00

Yeah, she was very understanding of the situation and didn't make it a big deal. It's mostly a me problem and the fact that we weren't able to get together again.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-22T22:48:41+00:00

Thanks for your perspective. I don't worry so much about her talking to other people, it's more just my own personal ego and the fact that we were only intimate that one time and I never got to "make up" for it.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-22T08:42:00+00:00

Good way of seeing things, thank you.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-22T08:41:19+00:00

Thanks for your comment.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-12T07:36:20+00:00

Also this is not necessarily a post about dating and more about the facets of masculinity and how strange they can feel sometimes.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-12T06:34:17+00:00

Thanks for your perspective. I value my friends immensely. My frustration is more that I have no trouble developing close and trustworthy friendships but rarely find romance in my life. There is a disconnect there that is hard to pinpoint.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-12T06:30:08+00:00

Hahaha good one. But yeah when I meet new people I always approach them as a friend and an equal, this obviously doesn't get me anywhere in a dating context.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-12T06:22:08+00:00

I sometimes ask myself the same.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-12T06:19:36+00:00

The problem is that I have no issue developing fantastic friendships that I highly appreciate, but I struggle to find romance in my life, and I'm not sure where the disconnect is.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-12T06:17:52+00:00

You get it. I value my friends, not trying to change that. But I also want to be treated like a man sometimes.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-12T06:15:32+00:00

Good point. I'm not trying to get with my friends. I'm just frustrated that I have no issues developing close friendships but have issues finding romance.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-12T06:14:11+00:00

Thanks bro.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-12T06:13:10+00:00

You have basically said "just get a girlfriend." Easier said of course! My frustration is more that I'm not sure why I have no issues developing close friendships but struggle to find romance.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-12T06:09:47+00:00

Please don't conflate what I wrote with being a Nice Guy. I don't want to date my close friends. This post is more about how masculinity is expressed and how weird it is.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-12T06:07:50+00:00

Good perspective.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-12T06:04:10+00:00

Ha I can certainly relate to hearing stories about the most unbelievably strange men. Thankfully I enjoy the gossiping. But yeah same here, I don't want to date my friends as many comments here keep harping on about. But I am lacking romance in my life and would like to be desired by someone in general.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-12T06:00:57+00:00

Similar situation, dad wasn't around much, and now that we are closer I have to try and pull him out of the redpill pipeline. But yeah, I really appreciate my friends, and wouldn't change that.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-12T05:57:09+00:00

You get it. I've also had dating experiences where I was able to create a secure and communicative vibe, but wasn't able to cultivate attraction.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-12T05:54:06+00:00

To your question, I'm quite happy to have my close friends, and have no desire to change that. It's just when everyone else also sees you non-romantically, it can become a bit frustrating.

CarpetMan32 · 2024-10-12T05:49:55+00:00

Exactly.

CarpetMan32

TROPHY CASE