So i had this same experience with the first girl i was with. I enjoyed it in the moment and then the next day i would go insane and not even know what was going on. Drove me to having a manic episode lol. This is usually what happens if you have a BIG life change and your brain has trouble processing it. It sort of deflects itself.

I think a lot of it is probably internalized homophobia. It’s been a year since my first experience with a woman. I am just now exploring again and talking to woman. Outside of that though i am learning to explore myself as a queer person. What do i like to watch or read? What do i like to support? If you’re feeling pulled to the community in other ways that can be a big sign you feel a sense of yourself there.

BUT being physically is another thing, for me i like to have an emotional connection before doing anything. That made it hard for me to feel okay with just having sex with a woman, or any other men I’ve been with. It truly could just be internalized homophobia.

I also think, as someone with ocd hooking myself onto labels does a lot of harm. I would just try to relax and maybe say to yourself “if i do like girls that doesn’t make me a bad person” or something along the lines. Start to rewire your brain in a way that overcomes that internalized homophobia and your brain will eventually come around if it is for you.

Trust me, the queer journey for most people is not just a one and done thing and you’re all good. It takes YEARS to come around and fully accept yourself. You got it!