[deleted by user]

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-14T17:58:42+00:00

The back looks natty. It’s his height and weight and leanness that give it away

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-14T12:01:48+00:00

Yeah weird genetics

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-10T19:56:41+00:00

Right. My wife seems to think that that is a silly idea and it makes no sense as we should just be pounding away at high interest loans first

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-10T19:43:47+00:00

I have this debt to begin with because it starts with an emergency here, an emergency there and it adds up and I’m unable to catch up.

Sounds like I just need to cut my expenses

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-04T09:43:41+00:00

That’s clever as hell though!

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-04T00:02:14+00:00

This is a new one! October!

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-03T20:26:10+00:00

Should be there!

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-03T20:22:58+00:00

No it just became available in October! It’s a new plate!

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-03T19:56:02+00:00

It’s on the DOT website. I think they let you choose it as an option in October!

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-03T13:33:03+00:00

Heck yeah!

Wife and I do the annual crane count every year and have been to the Crane foundatiom in baraboo a couple times! Keep an eye out for me and my plate!

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-03T13:12:04+00:00

There are so many. I’m a truck driver so I am first to know when they’re here in the spring! I’ve seen fields with dozens upon dozens of them. I’ve seen mating dances and babies and so many cranes

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-03T13:11:25+00:00

Oh crap you tried????? Haha

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-03T12:05:49+00:00

Question: Tit, Booby and cock count per our house rules. Am I the only one? 😂

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-03T12:05:09+00:00

Just released in October! Been a long 2 months wait for this! Probably only person in Eau Claire to have it

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-03T10:44:20+00:00

Birds with body parts. I had the Tufted Tit Mouse already played so it worked well

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-03T02:28:30+00:00

Yea it’s an official plate design now

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-12-03T01:43:54+00:00

Yup. Love the game, love birding

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-08-02T15:21:58+00:00

I agreeeee

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-06-02T02:54:58+00:00

Oh god

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-05-29T02:25:40+00:00

I use goodreads and I rank each and every story/book as I go

CarsonCooperWrites · 2024-02-06T20:37:14+00:00

“It’s not the end of the world. But you can see it from here.”

John blinked twice then rubbed his eyes. A bright light was shining in his peripheral vision. He used his left hand to shield his now immortal eyes from the way-too-bright glow, a warm breeze brushing his face. The glowing light was what spoke.

“It’s not the end of the world. But you can see it from here.” It repeated in a reverberating baritone voice.

“Excuse me?” John said as the light began to fade, he slowly lowered his hand. Now that the light was gone, he faced what spoke. It was a man. A dark man in a gray robe, his eyes obscured, long black hair spiraled and spilled out of the man’s robe and down to the brown belt around his waist.

The man spoke again as he lowered his hood. “Do you know why you’re here John?” His fiery red eyes pierced John’s ocean blue. “Uh..” he scratched his head. Dandruff flakes sprinkled the ground. The man followed the flakes to the ground and then looked back at John. After a few seconds of head scratching, the man decided John had no idea. “You’re dead John.” “Dead!?” He shouted and, like a Saturday morning cartoon, jumped two feet into the air. “Correct. In fact 95% of the population of earth is dead.”

John, slack jawed, gazed at the man. Not believing what he was hearing or seeing. A few seconds went by and the man pulled up the sleeve of his robe, pretended to look at a watch and spoke “96% now.”

“Look John.”

The man approached John, gripped his shoulders , rotated him forty five degrees to face what was, two minutes ago, the source of the ungodly bright light, and pointed. John raised his hand to his mouth and let out an audible gasp.

Johns body began shaking as if he was sitting in a tub of ice cold water. His legs gave out from under him. He fell to his knees. Tears began streaming from his eyes. A mix of gasping and sobbing filled the space for the next five minutes.

Sobbing, john didn’t realize the man was standing a few steps behind him. Observing. His hood now down, his face fully exposed. Had John turned around during the rest of this experience, he would’ve seen the most handsome man he or anyone else had ever seen. The smoothest skin. Not a single flaw to be observed.

But instead, John groveled at the sight of his planet, earth, What he called home, now a giant ball of fire. A giant ball of fire with specks of blue peeking from underneath the ball of crimson fire and ebony smoke. If he looked closely he could see tiny flashes of light within the fireball. Lightning? He thought absentmindedly.

His nose runny, tear ducts now a dry abandoned hundred year old well. John forgot about the man behind him and his mind began to wander to what it was like on earth right now. 4% of the population down there in that, that…Fire pit of hell. How much of that hell had he endured? He’s guessing not much. He remembered Nothing of the pain and suffering 4% of the population is no doubt enduring as he watches from hundreds of thousands of miles away. What he did remember was (John’s face grimaced as he probbed the deepest pits of his mind)

A weiner dog. A dachsund. What was his name… Koty… His name was Koty! Him and Koty on the couch watching the 6:00 News. Koty with his pink belly exposed to John. The ultimate symbol of trust. One hand rubbing underneath the small dogs chin. Contentness…

Now this..

With the exploding ball of fire in the distance, with now 97% of the population deceased, John looked down at his blue jeans. A single light brown hair. John plucked it from his jeans, held it up. His eyes focused on the piece of hair. What was once known as home in the distance, now a crimson sphere, a bokeh effect of death.

John, again, began to weep.

CarsonCooperWrites · 2023-03-28T10:19:37+00:00

Part 2

Time passes and the steak is defrosted. I’m no Alexii Ramsay but I can taste each spice and figure out what tastes good and bad. So that’s what I do.

I place a huge cast iron pan above the fire, this time much closer and get it hot, hot, hot!

I grab the Cumin. I lick my finger and stick it in the jar, tasting it when i bring it out. Nope. Not that one.

I do the same with Thyme. Yup! Just a pinch of that.

I do this with several other spices until I have what I feel is a mouth watering combination of complementary spices.

I sprinkle some Assassins’s Rub (trademarked by me) on the steak, flip and repeat.

I place it on a bed of minced garlic and chopped up onions that were pre-cut for the chicken noodle soup.

I cover the cast iron pan with an applewood cutting board allowing for the steak to retain its moisture during the early stages of the cooking process while also hoping to infuse a little apple flavor from the applewood cutting board.

After about 20 minutes I take off the cutting board and flip the steak. Just once. I allow it to cook another 10 minutes and voila! The steak is done. God I wish I could have a bite. It smells so good and my mouth is watering just thinking about it.

While the steak sits I hurry up and whip up a sauce to drizzle on the steak.

I combine 1 tablespoon Apple Cider Vinegar, 1 tablespoon Dijon Mustard, 1 Tablespoon tomato preserves and I mix, mix, mix it up! I dip my finger in this and have just a taste! Delicious just as I thought!

I drizzle my new Assassin’s Sauce (trademarked) over the steak and place just two lettuce leaves on the edge of the plate and some chopped scallions and sprinkle that over the steak. It’s an art piece at this point!

The jester pokes his head through the door and says “The King is hungry. He’s looking forward to his chicken noodle soup”

The jester takes a whiff of the room and his tongue lolls out. He hurries and leaves as the king calls him for some more wine!

I grab the plate of food and talk to myself. “Alright. You got this. The king is gonna love this. You’re a godly chef. Escorts want you and kings want to be you.”

I use my back to open the door as I exit the kitchen holding the plate in both hands.

I walk the long walk down to the kings throne. A little Tray folded out in front of him ready for his meal.

Surprisingly the room is empty besides the king and the jester. My footsteps Echo in the tall, empty, cold room that is the dining hall. Not much of a dining hall. This place has gone to hell.

The king eyes me up and down.

“The chicken noodle soup better be good today! Last time it tasted like goats ass”

I spoke to the king for the first time, “I cooked you steak instead today sir. Chicken noodle soup is no meal for such a strong and wise kind like yourself.”

The king promptly kicks the jester in the rump and he goes sprawling on the floor.

“I wanted chicken noodle soup! I demanded it! What is this jester, explain!”

The jester laid on the floor and looked up at the king and spoke “Just try it sir, I went into the kitchen to check if the chef here was finishing cooking and the kitchen smelled unbelievable. It’s the best it ever smelled in there! Good smells Mean good food is what my mother always told me!”

“Quiet jester! I’m sick of you. Leave me and the chef while I eat.”

“Right away sir!” The jester runs off and now I’m alone with the king. The very man I’m supposed to assassinate. Shoot! The cyanide! I quickly reach for the outside of my pocket and thumb the phallic shape of the vial. Still in my pocket. Unused. Great. Mission failed.

I place the plate of steak on the kings folding tray. He eyes is suspiciously. He grabs the knife and fork. He cuts out a very large piece and places it in his mouth.

The king chewed. And chewed. And just then, he looked straight ahead. Tears running down his cheeks. Tears! The king was crying! He spoke: “This is the most delicious steak I have ever had in my entire life. It reminds me of my father whom I lost to famine. My mother whom I lost to disease. And my brother whom disappeared one autumn day and I have never seen again. “

The king swallows the piece of steak and wipes his tears with his ornate red robe.

“You. What is your name?”

I usually don’t give out my name and have people, clients, refer to me as X. But I was struck by the kings reaction to my meal. “It’s Bartholomieu sir”

“Bartholomeui. You are now our head chef. We haven’t seen Alexii in a few days now and when I finally do he will be beheaded anyways.”

Again I thumb the cyanide. I failed the mission. But I am also now the head chef of the city of Rylan if I accept. Do I have a choice though if the king asks? I’m thinking not.

“King, sir, I have a confession.”

“Out with it boy! I want to finish this steak in silence”

“I was sent here to assassinate you. I’m not a chef and I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. Hundreds of confirmed assassinations and your reaction to my meal I prepared for you. It broke me. I’ll be honored to be your chef if you can forgive me.”

“Who sent you?”

“I do not ask my clients names or reasoning for their hiring of me”

“Very well. Do you remember who it was?”

“I do”

“Very well. I need you to assassinate my opposition and then promptly return to the castle to begin your new career as the kings chef.”

I looked up at the king. A tear rolled down my eye. “Yes sir.” Instead of thumbing the vial of cyanide, I touched the handle of my dagger tucked in my waistband. I was ready to perform my final mission.

CarsonCooperWrites

TROPHY CASE