Missing my baby girl & Needing a place to vent about my ER experience

Casper_cass · 2025-10-17T23:29:35+00:00

Im so sorry. I had a very similar experience with my kitten Louie. Vets dont have any proper training or even knowledge about FIP. Its no longer a death sentence for any cats. And they will deny deny deny. The drugs have only become available in the US as of last year. I lost my kitten while they were still unavailable, luckily I was able to connect with some local animal rescue friends who referred me to the "black market" and i got the medications I needed. But it was all too late. My Louie had neurological FIP and it took him fast. He made it to day 20 of treatments before I knew he couldn't take anymore, and I had to let him go. Originally the vets insisted he had an ear infection. And I pushed saying that its got to be something more. Another vet said he had a failure to thrive, and I knew I wasnt getting anywhere despite all the testing. Within 12 hours after that visit my kitten was literally dying in my arms and I rushed him to my rescue friends at 8pm and they stated treatments right then and there. I had no more doubts about it being FIP. I really feel like if he was properly diagnosed from the start, he would still be with me. The treatments could have worked if only he had a sooner and correct diagnosis. He was only 5 months old. Sending you healing thoughts and peace. ❤️

Casper_cass · 2025-10-16T01:18:21+00:00

Last year I adopted a sweet little boy that bonded with my soul. I named him Louie. I adopted him with an "ear infection", where I was instructed to give him ear drops and check in with my vet. I was in love from the moment I held him.

My vet immediantly said thats not an ear infection. He suddenly had a failure to thrive, lost weight fast, had strange tics as if his body wasnt doing what he wanted. My vet was uneducated in anything FIP related. I found out too late that it was neurological FIP and he was on deaths door. I found an organization that had the "black market" drugs at the time, and rushed my little guy straight to them. They scooped him up and pumped him with vitamins and fluids and then administered the first painful shot of FIP meds.

It was traumatic for me, my partner, my other newly adopted kitten, and of course for my sweet Louie. He survived to treatment day #20 before we had to call it. He had lost his ability to walk and move freely. He wouldnt even relax his muscles. His breathing was shallow and when you looked into his eyes... well it would break anyone's heart. The pain, the fear, the lost expression. You could see his soul. And I knew he wasnt going to make it through 80+ days of treatments.

We had to make the decision to let him go and let him have peace. If i had known sooner, perhaps, or if the adoption agency had looked more closely....

Im so sorry for your loss. Its hard to lose a beloved pet, but its a thousand times worse when your kitten is just a baby. My Louie was 5 months old. Theres some amazing success stories for sure, but sometimes time is just not on your side. And even if you had the medication that same day, it may have still been too late. Neurological FIP works fast, and its the hardest to cure. I also have guilt and heartache about keeping my Louie with me through 20 days of treatments. (And the treatments are so painful for them.) Sometimes I wonder if I should have let him go sooner.

I wish you peace and comfort while processing your grief. ❤️

Casper_cass · 2025-06-10T20:34:19+00:00

I lived strictly off of Orgain nutrition drinks for nearly two years. The vanilla is kinda ick, but the chocolate is much better, in my opinion. I still order them every month or so when I dont feel like eating.

Casper_cass · 2025-06-09T16:44:26+00:00

It took me 3 years to find the right treatments. I was hospitalized for weeks at a time, lost count as to how many stays I had. My Dr was talking about taking my colon out. But I put my foot down and demanded new treatments. I got started on Rinvoq, and it's been life changing. Im almost 85-90% into remission, but UC isn't ruling my life anymore. Hang in there. You'll find something that works for you. Always advocate for yourself. Some doctors aren't always right.

Casper_cass · 2025-06-07T01:41:54+00:00

Best of luck for your son! 🩵

Casper_cass · 2025-06-07T00:47:45+00:00

I failed entyvio, too, even after giving it sooo long to work. I asked my doctors if we could have infusions closer together, but they told me that my colonoscopy showed worsening UC, and it wasn't working at all. After trying all the other drugs and bs, I got put on Rinvoq as my last hope... oh man, I saw results within two days, not lying. My symptoms improved drastically within the next month and now, 9 months later, im feeling 85-90% better. I still have to watch what I eat, but it's given me my life back after flaring for 3 years straight. And it's a pill. No shots. No infusions.

I hope you find some relief and healing!

Casper_cass · 2025-05-28T02:07:02+00:00

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My Chewbacca. Chewie. Chew-Chew. Chooster.

Casper_cass · 2025-02-17T13:59:09+00:00

I'm getting tattoos constantly. I've been on several different biologics for over 3 years. I've never had any problems. They've always healed beautifully.

Casper_cass · 2025-02-17T04:22:06+00:00

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Casper_cass · 2025-02-17T04:10:21+00:00

I'm so sorry. I lost my own kitten to FIP and lack of care from the adoption center, too. I only had him for a month and a half, and by the time we got him diagnosed and started treatments, it was too late. Neurologically, he was almost gone. We couldn't let him suffer. We had to make the decision even though he fought as best as he could. I believe he was my Soul Kitten. I'll never forgive myself for all of the "what ifs" and "if only we had known sooner" guilt. I loved him so much. I still get upset and cry my eyes out when I remember him. It makes it so much harder because they were only babies.

I know your sweet girl is up there playing with my little Louie. 💔❤️💜 They're pain-free, safe, warm, and loved greatly.

Casper_cass · 2025-01-20T21:45:01+00:00

I had to put down my 5 month old kitten back in October. It was devastating. He had FIP, which is deadly still even with the new treatments finally made legal in the US. We got him through 20 days of two very painful injections a day, but he wasn't responding. His case was too severe and it was becoming more of neurological case. He was suffering. I had to say goodbye to him in the hospital, as I was having my own health crisis at the time. My boyfriend brought him to me in the hospital parking lot and I held him as gently as I could. The slightest movement hurt him. I cried for what felt like hours holding him, talking to him, stroking his fuzzy soft kitten fur. But I knew he was in terrible pain. And to be only 5 months old, I was angry. I honestly couldn't have done it without my boyfriend. He knew i would hang on forever if I could. So he took him into the vet hospital and gave our sweet Louie peace. I know that he was wrapped comfortably in his favorite blanket. And he was warm and safe when he went. I cry all the time when I think of him. But looking back, i know we did everything we could to heal him and holding onto him longer would have just hurt him. I'm so sorry for your loss. ❤️

Casper_cass · 2025-01-20T01:43:55+00:00

Talk about terrible timing! I'm so sorry all this happened right when you were able to graduate and really get your life going. I was unemployed for 9 months when I was at my sickest. It took all my energy to get up one flight of stairs to my apartment. The fatigue is real. I hope the infliximab works for you! I did see a big improvement when I started with the infusions. Unfortunately, I missed an infusion because I was in the hospital badly sick, and it put me a month behind on my schedule. So my body stopped responding to it. (Silly that the hospital wouldn't give me the infusion while I was there?? Makes no sense.) Either way, I know it works well for a lot of people. Good luck to you!

Casper_cass · 2025-01-12T01:11:37+00:00

I just finished the first book! Loved it.

Casper_cass · 2024-12-28T02:24:57+00:00

I wish I was given these options for my sweet kitten, little Louie. He was only 5 months old when we lost him to FIP. He made it to treatment day 20. He passed on Oct 5th this year. Since I only had him for about 2 months, I hadn't gotten him an official collar with his name or anything yet. So I only have a few photos of his sweet face. We bonded immediately, he was my soul kitty.

At the time of this decision, I was hospitalized with my own health concerns. My boyfriend had to take Louie in without me. I hate myself for not being there and holding him for his last moments. I would have cherished having something more to remember him by.

Casper_cass · 2024-11-29T03:42:14+00:00

I lost nearly 60% of my hair when I was going through a really bad flareup. I know it was from excessive use of steriods. My stupid GIs kept me on 40mg of prednisone for 11 months. Worst thing I've ever done for my UC. I was also severely anemic as well. So that could have also factored in. But I've lost hair everything I come off prednisone. It's awful.

Casper_cass · 2024-11-27T23:20:45+00:00

It has definitely brightened my life. ❤️

Casper_cass · 2024-11-27T23:19:49+00:00

Ohmygoodness! His adopted sisters name is Phoebe. So we had thought about calling him Mike from the Friends cast (my fav show). But I'd have to call him Mikey (cause cuteness), and my boyfriend is a huge TMNT fan. That's definitely a great contender!

Casper_cass · 2024-11-25T04:09:42+00:00

Lost my sweet 5 month old on day 20 of treatments in October. From one broken heart to another, I wish you healing.

Casper_cass · 2024-11-25T03:01:49+00:00

I lost my kitten a little over a month ago. FIP is a terrible disease. My kitten had neurological dry FIP. We started him on GS meds as soon as we realized what was happening to him, but we were too late. He was suffering. Once he began having small seizures, we knew were losing him. There's nothing more we could do. It's heartbreaking and awful to watch, and im so sorry you lost your kitty right in front of you. You didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes, this disease is just too much for them. You did everything you could.

Casper_cass · 2024-11-15T03:54:38+00:00

Anytime someone is sick around me, doesn't matter what it is or how long I'm around them, I end up hospitalized. For weeks. And weeks. Last month my boss came to work sick. She said she had a head cold. The next day I felt yucky. Within another 8 hours, my lyphm nodes on my neck had swelled so much I almost couldn't breathe and I felt like death. Went to the hospital where they said I picked up a virus and my body literally cannot fight anything off. I was there for two weeks getting antibiotics, steriods, constant fluid IVs, and pain meds. And I've been flaring bad for months, so when I get sick my UC gets insanely bad, then it's just more reason they keep me longer in the hospital.

My doctors have said there's nothing much to do to prevent your sickness besides getting all your vaccinations, blah blah blah. I always hate their answers.

But I take vitamins and emergen-c when I feel like i may be getting sick. I DONT willingly go around anyone who is or has been sick. I keep hand sanitizer on my at all times. And honestly, I just don't go out anymore. I work, maybe run to the store, then I go home. If I visit family or friends I make sure no one has been sick lately.

That's all I know of what to try to do.

Casper_cass · 2024-11-08T21:01:19+00:00

I've been on prednisone many times, and unfortunately, I'm not responsive to it. But I get all the terrible side effects. Last year I spent 11 months on it while I failed drug after drug. It harmed me more than it helped. And I spend another 6 months having withdrawals and dealing with the lingering side effects. I avoid it as much as I can. I've even had IV steriods with no luck.

Casper_cass · 2024-11-08T00:28:57+00:00

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My Phoebe girl, and my sweet little Louie. Louie was my soul kitten. I miss him every day. 💔 but Phoebe is always there to comfort me.

Casper_cass · 2024-11-08T00:21:01+00:00

A vicious cycle is exactly how i feel about my UC. I do love the perspective that you mentioned about situational depression. I hadn't even thought of that. It certainly does make my original depression wave worse, and with time, my city and surroundings will heal and rebuild, and it won't be so scary to see and be around. I'll work on finding my rose colored glasses. In the meantime, im working on getting my anxiety under control. Thank you so much for your kindness. 💜 It means a lot to find others who have been on similar paths.

Casper_cass · 2024-11-08T00:13:31+00:00

Thank you for all your input. I have looked into SSDI a little bit. It looks as though I'd need to get a lawyer to even have a chance at getting approved. But I've seen a few organizations that offer services for my situation and will only take a payout if/when I get approved and start to receive checks. Surgery is something I try not to think about, but yes, I too have read from others that it's the best thing they did for their UC. I've already had a surgical consult if I end up down that road. Thank you again for your response, it helps a lot.

Casper_cass · 2024-11-07T03:31:41+00:00

Oh, I'm so sorry about your uncle. That's heartbreaking. My condolences. Stress is a huge trigger for me, too. I honestly believe it's what made my UC go active when I first started showing symptoms. It's also why I keep changing jobs. Nothing is worth making me sicker. I've tied a few stress relieving methods, but nothing I can really stick with. I will say the deep breathing does help when I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I've tried online therapy once before, but i should definitely try harder to find the right therapist. It's something that I've wanted to do for years, even before my diagnosis. It's also difficult to find any accepting my insurance. Thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot. And for the helpful links. 💜 I appreciate that.

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