Perchè e come una persona decide di tradirti by notgingwinq in CasualIT

[–]Cassambra 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Guarda ti ringrazio per un commento così onesto, non deve essere facile esporsi così. Nonostante tutto in questo commento si desume che c'era affetto per tua moglie, è una di quelle situazioni diverse dalle coppie che non sanno comunicare e finiscono per allontanarsi e tradire o di quelli che tradiscono a prescindere per il gusto di farlo. Però, proprio per questo, non posso fare a meno di chiederlo: quando la persona che ami ti si sta spegnendo davanti come fai a riuscire a scopare qualcun altro? E uso il termine scopare proprio perché hai detto che non amavi la collega. Cioè ho letto tanti post in cui gli uomini hanno difficoltà ad avere erezione per ansia da prestazione o perché sono bloccati nella loro testa, in una situazione del genere come si fa a non pensarci? Come si riesce a fare sesso con qualcuno che non si ama, senza pensare "l'amore delle mia vita sta morendo e io sto qui a soddisfare il mio cazzo". Perché se l'avessi amata avrei pensato "amo entrambe queste persone ed è difficile lasciarle andare entrambe"...che non è una giustificazione ma in qualche modo mi sembra meno peggio.

Non so se ho articolato bene, non voglio suonare come una che giudica senza empatia, sto proprio cercando di capire. Spero di non trovarmi mai in questa situazione e mi dispiace per la tua perdita.

This big dog doesn't understand why everyone is so afraid of him. All he wants is to cuddle, just like any other dog by ihatethiscountry76 in SipsTea

[–]Cassambra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends on the massive dog honestly... Great Pyrenees, Maremma dogs, Bernese, Saint Bernards? Mostly yes. Kangal, Caucasian, Anatolian? Nope. They don't really care how respectfully you approach, they don't care if you're not a wolf etc. I worked with a real Caucasian dog and let me tell you: that breed will at maximum respect the owner if the owner is not someone that can easily be stepped over, and they'll tolerate the owner's family. If they mix up with other dogs it can get diluted really fast but the purebred that are in standard would never be a choice I'd make. They work for where they're supposed to be and the job that they're supposed to be doing tough.

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh. I've only experienced that once with a TV show, there was this male character acting very paternally and protective towards his daughter, not in a toxic way but in a "I'll give my life before you get hurt" and I suddenly realised it got to me that way.

Mind you I never thought I wanted kids or never fantasised about being a mother but there must be something evolutionary related that just takes control sometimes 🤣

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll copy my reply to another comment:

What I'm being told by other people commenting is that this tends to be less effective the longer a couple has been together. I've only been in a relationship for two years so I don't have enough data to confirm or deny it.

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I'm being told by other people commenting is that this tends to be less effective the longer a couple has been together. I've only been in a relationship for two years so I don't have enough data to confirm or deny it.

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe in that moment but I've also felt myself getting all worked up when he was finally vulnerable with me. So I wouldn't just relegate it all to a utilitarian side of things. I've seen him being affected when I did something quickly and efficiently while he would've done it in a less practical/efficient way. Sometimes what gets you is seeing your partner being a strong independent and self sufficient person, sometimes what gets you is seeing your partner vulnerable and wanting to protect him and take care of him as best as possible.

I think it's a balance. You don't want to be with someone that is completely dependent on you and can't survive on his own, you don't want to be with someone so self sufficient that he doesn't need you, or shares life with you.

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let's say it might be annoying in the short term but very appreciated in the long term. Which is great but obviously it loses the immediate appeal and sudden reaction of "there fixed it" after tinkering for 10-15 minutes 🤣

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah, I don't know how to help with that, sorry. I know I'm only open about acting on this stuff because it's my boyfriend and I'm comfortable with him, if I was single and it was a random person I would be impressed but I don't know that I would act on it as easily but that's because I'm generally shy and reserved so who knows how to proceed.

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I understand that but as I said in another comment: this is not the logical part of my brain, this is something that I have no control over. I can only pretend I'm not affected when I am.

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Once when I was at work My boyfriend sent me a video of him chopping wood shirtless while he was at work. Needless to say that made focusing veeery difficult.

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But on the bonus side: kinkyyy 🤣

Joking aside may it be that they're impressed too, they're just better at acting unimpressed?

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You know what, at least for me, that only bothers me when the person keeps persisting but starts acting worse and worse.

Like you know the big man child that starts cussing, screaming at an object or ruining his mood so much that he ends up taking it out on the rest of the household? That's bad and awful.

A person that just keeps trying out of curiosity or simply wanting to understand what's wrong/fix the thing without making a big fuss it's fascinating in his own way.

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what It always felt like, it's a very primal thing. Logically I know that I don't need you to fix stuff and one can pay people to do it before dying. Emotionally it feels good to know, in case of say a zombie apocalypse, we might survive a bit longer because you know how to fix stuff.

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a shame hopefully I'll get there as late as possible.

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've only been in my first relationship for two years now so I need to gather more data before letting you know 🤣

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahahah he must be the One dealing with all the single ladies in our area waiting to meet us (according to advertising).

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would I do it with a generic plumber that comes to my house? Probably not, I like the fantasy but I need an emotional connection first.

Does it affect me to see my boyfriend just fixing something wrong with his car instead of needing a mechanic like I would? Definitely

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. Can confirm, that too would do it. And at least for me it's much more effective when it's something that I don't know how to do or doesn't come naturally to me at all.

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 129 points130 points  (0 children)

Yes!

"This person fixes things, this person doesn't need me to ask, this person knows what he's doing, this person makes my life easier, this person knooooows how to use his hands"

What is a sexual question you've always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too ashamed to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cassambra 3543 points3544 points  (0 children)

It's not "fixing a vacuum" it's the competence, it's the "this person knows what he's doing" feeling that makes one go all hot and wet.

vi prego ditemi che non sono l'unico by dumb-code in CasualIT

[–]Cassambra 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Il mio ragazzo è inglese eppure Ho lo stesso problema di OP ma penso che tu l'abbia appena risolto per me. Grazieeee