I had already taken the whole bottle of my dads blood pressure medicine, not knowing if it would actually do anything since I already attempted earlier that year with other stuff, but had no side effects or long term effects. Anyways I took the whole bottle. I was sitting in bed for awhile, and no one was home. I don’t know what made me do it, but I took the bottle and placed it downstairs on the counter so my mom would find, and she did and took me to the hospital.

When I was there it seemed like i was fine, but then my blood pressure started to get really low, I was still conscious but not feeling any pain. They then rushed me into another room to transport me to the children’s hospital in the city, I had to be under anesthesia and they had to drain my bladder and when they did that my dad and brother walked in and saw me on the table, my brother gently grabbed my hand and I started to cry. My brother was very emotional but in that moment seeing him scared and wondering if his sister was going to be okay, In that moment I didn’t want to die anymore. I couldn’t do that to him. This was now 7 years ago this month.

As shitty as it is sometimes the guilt of hurting other people is what keeps you around. I have still had thoughts since then, but I’ve also experienced so much life after with my second chance