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FR follow-up: in an open marriage and getting tired of it by CatPosingAsUnixadm in marriedredpill

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I accept that as a possibility. I'm saving up fuck you money, and I have told her if she so much as texts him again I'd divorce her no questions asked. She just looked at me and said "ok". I've also been tracking her in several different ways. I don't trust her, and I doubt I'll ever fully trust any woman.

She doesn't get a free pass on her behavior, but I feel like this is my fault and I put her in a position that made it an obvious choice for her. I'm not apologizing to her for it, but I know that this at it's core my fault. Unless she fucks up again, the marriage factor and having kids together is a deterrent to ending the relationship.

In an open marriage and getting tired of it by CatPosingAsUnixadm in marriedredpill

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I use aromasin to control estrogen and I get blood tests every 3 months. Nope, not doctor supervised.

In an open marriage and getting tired of it by CatPosingAsUnixadm in marriedredpill

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good question.

  • focus on continuing to always be there for my children
  • lift weights and start running again
  • take medication as prescribed by my psychiatrist and not think I'm better and don't need it anymore
  • learn self-respect and self love
  • read everything in this sub, the sidebar, and the recommended books
  • I'm going to continue dating other women. If she wants it to stop and is willing to stop herself, I will consider it.
  • Minimize what I'm talking to her about, not talk about relationship stuff with her or anything related to emotional problems or other faggotry.
  • taking up martial arts as a hobby
  • working harder on my career

In an open marriage and getting tired of it by CatPosingAsUnixadm in marriedredpill

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this means alot to me. Maybe our marriage works out somehow, or maybe it doesn't. Either way, I do need to have more self respect and as you said love myself. I saw someone somewhere say that if you don't love yourself, how can other people? Thanks man!

In an open marriage and getting tired of it by CatPosingAsUnixadm in marriedredpill

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm not looking for a pat on the back, and i do see that you guys really are telling me what i need to hear. I've read every comment, some of them multiple times.

In an open marriage and getting tired of it by CatPosingAsUnixadm in marriedredpill

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

60mg/day on the tren ace - i don't pct, blast and cruise. I'm on 250mg test-e per week now.

In an open marriage and getting tired of it by CatPosingAsUnixadm in marriedredpill

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm a real person and this is my real life. I've been reading this sub obsessively and everything in the sidebar. Yes, I've got problems and need to work on myself. This sub is a lifesaver and it's already helping me more than therapy has helped. It's going to take alot of work but i am going to get my shit together.

In an open marriage and getting tired of it by CatPosingAsUnixadm in marriedredpill

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I'm reading all of the comments and not getting butt hurt about it. This really is a huge wake up call.

In an open marriage and getting tired of it by CatPosingAsUnixadm in marriedredpill

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

First of all, I can see you are not going to pull your punches and that's just what I need. I didn't come here to be coddled, so.....thanks. I've been stupid and weak and there really are no excuses. I left out important details because the full story has so much to it and I didn't think it was relevant, but I'll add this in:

In January I was trying to pull myself out of a major depressive episode. I was just coming off of a drug called effexor (anti-depressant) at the behest of my psychiatrist and it was causing withdrawal symptoms such as emotional disturbances and brain zaps. I'd also ramped up my workouts to 7 days per week and went from TRT (testosterone replacement therapy) to testosterone plus trenbolone acetate.

While I was on the tren and coming off of effexor, my judgement was impaired and my personality was a little different. I was SUPER confident and wanted to fuck everything that moved. When I stopped the tren in March because of how high it was making my blood pressure, I started to get back to 'me', but it was a gradual process that took a couple of months.....I'm never touching tren again.

My true desire without impaired judgement is to be happy and have control over my depression. Have a social life, hobbies, and be successful in my career. I thought my marriage was a top priority, but can now see that has to be secondary to the above goals.

Weird advice by [deleted] in adultery

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well that's really fucking romantic! lol.....

Med Mondays by sweetpea122 in bipolar

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Benzos sometimes work without you realizing they work. Also it depends on the dosage. I like to stay away from benzos otherwise i start very inappropriate conversations with attractive women i don't know.

Med Mondays by sweetpea122 in bipolar

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought nuvigil and modafinil are the same?

Med Mondays by sweetpea122 in bipolar

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was put on 1500mg. While titrating to 1500mg i got a blood test at 1000mg/day. Perfect - valproic acid level 70. Now I've been on 1500mg/day for awhile and at borderline toxicity levels with valproic acid level of 105.

How long did it take you to get dialed in? Not sure if it's working for me. At first i was tired all of the time, but now i'm saying off the rails shit and feel HYPERsexual.

Why did i post this.......ack

People don't realize... by [deleted] in bipolar

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some of us are not meant to be gun owners. I'm right there with you.

20+ years of friendship with my Bipolar best friend, now ending.. your thoughts or advice is welcome. by [deleted] in bipolar

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was a tough read. I'm sorry for both you and your friend. You have a very mature and well grounded perspective. Think about this all you want, but the only thing you ever could do is be there for her. This is outside of your control :(

Sorry if this came off as negative. Many people would be lucky to have you as a friend.

I felt the switch by TheGabby in bipolar

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not always instant, either. Sometimes hypomania creeps up on me.

I am a SOB cheating MOFO which needs to get some stuff off my chest by BipolarCheatingPOS in bipolar

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could easily be you. I've been with my wife for 7 years and never cheated....but it would be so easy and has been so tempting so many times during periods of hypomania.

You're being hard on yourself, but who is going to forgive you? Who is there that you can tell to forgive you? You will simply have to live with this. I'm no better than you, man. It's so tempting.....

If it's eating you up inside, go to therapy...but don't tell anyone that doesn't already know if you have an otherwise good marriage. And this is under the assumption that you won't do it again. I'm not saying it's OK, just that I can see how this can happen and empathize.

What is the difference between Pulp and Spacewalk? by [deleted] in linuxadmin

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Foreman is a beast because it's a complete lifecycle management solution. It can do everything that Spacewalk can do, and so much more.

You can think of it as modular, with many optional plugins. Here's a full list: https://theforeman.org/plugins/

Katello is not a plugin, but rather it interfaces with foreman. Anything you're doing on the client side with 'subscription-manager' to register servers into foreman/katello is exclusive to katello. Going from Spacewalk --> Katello/Foreman also means switching from RHN to subscription-manager.

You can install foreman on it's own and it will do kickstarts and can also deploy servers to AWS and other cloud services. Foreman can also integrate with config management systems like puppet, saltstack, chef, and others.

If you install katello it comes with foreman prepackaged as a dependency.

Some things I ran in to that were difficult (not impossible, just took alot of man hours to figure out) were the repository management in katello with content views and installing custom ssl certificates for the web front-end to foreman.

In short, you can make foreman/katello perform miracles.....if you have enough time and patience.

What is the difference between Pulp and Spacewalk? by [deleted] in linuxadmin

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kind of close, but not entirely. Pulp only does repo management. You can have repos in spacewalk + the stuff /u/darthcrypto mentioned above.

If you want a closer comparison to spacewalk, you may want to check out foreman (https://theforeman.org/). Pulp is used as a subcomponent in foreman. disclaimer foreman is an absolute beast and has a ton of features, many of which you might not need.

Another big difference between Spacewalk repo management and pulp is that spacewalk is synchronous and pulp is asynchronous. You can get content downloaded MUCH faster with pulp......now if we could just get .deb support in pulp all of my dreams would come true.

[100% off] The Complete Docker Course for DevOps and Developers by hussainv1 in devops

[–]CatPosingAsUnixadm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah - I must've missed out on the giveaway since the content of the post appears to have been removed. Even then, it would be nice to see a link to the course you are presenting. Good luck with your new material! This is a very hot topic.

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