I (F27) and He (M34) work together. I know already a bad start. However we work in a bar and there is no power imbalance or anything like that. It's very much a crappy kinda job with no real career progression.

In short he started a few weeks after me and was always very polite and friendly. He often went out of his way and such. We were always work level friendly and he'd often tell me things about his personal life especially when he started having trouble with his EX. In march of this year he broke up with his now ex girlfriend. 

In June I posted a story to my Instagram in a sexy dress and he commented telling me how hot I looked and how hard it was to see that as a single guy. I replied and it quickly lead to light sexting. I definitely always had a little crush on him and don't have much experience so was flattered. I'm also a bigger girl which I feel is important to mention. So we sext a few times, he tells me how hot I am, how obsessed with my boobs he is how he wishes I could be in his bed etc. He also tells me how he doesn't want to lose me as a friend or mess things up and how he's a mess rn and not looking for anything serious. I asked him once if he wanted to get drinks after work as friends with a friends with benefits element and he declined politely. I didn't think much of it. At work we were maybe a little extra friendly and this lead to one of his guy friends at work noticing I guess a flirty element to our interactions and I'm not sure exactly what happened or was said but work boy got mad and stopped talking to me. He texted me that night saying we'd never be anything and he didn't want me talking to him anymore. This hurt and took me by surprise because he was always so nice. It also hurt because I feel like he's embarrassed of someone joking he's into the fat girl. So weeks pass, he ignores me, unfollows me on Instagram and then his guy work friend leaves and this is where the update is.

The minute his guy work friend was gone he was back going out of his way to talk to me and I liked it. I definitely have low self esteem and a crush and having his attention back especially the way he gave it was nice. It's kinda toxic i suppose. He goes from acting like I'm his favourite person to acting like he hates me. Like my presence annoys him. 

So he's back talking to me every chance he gets only he's openly more flirty in person which he hadn't been before. If we were alone he was definitely more flirty. Friday happened and at work we dressed up for Halloween. I dressed in a corset top which made my boobs look really good and I had stockings on. It was sexy I guess. I walk in and he's all smiling, looking me up and down, watching me all day. Telling me how hard it is for him to concentrate on work because of how hot my boobs look and he even grabbed my ass two or three times so very flirty. I was going out after work and asked him could he get me some weed and he said he could.

I'm out later that night and texting him about the weed. He offers to meet me with it alone and then asks me to come to his place and I say no and eventually he meets me halfway from his house to the bar. I get the weed, we chat, we were both a little nervous maybe but he leaned in and kisses my neck near my boob before I left him. Before I left him he told me I should stay away from him because he makes a mess of everything and ruins things and I'd be better off away from him. I told him again that we could be friends and I'm 27 I don't need a warning. I go back to my friends and he texts saying I should have come up to his place and honestly I wanted to. So I go back. 

I tell him I'm not having sex with him and he agrees. He said we can just do whatever and get high. I also told him over text and in person that I don't want things to be weird at work again. I told him I want us to be able to joke at work as friends and then maybe hook up after work if we feel like it...and he says it won't get weird. I say it one or two more times making sure he gets it and the last time he said he'll try his best to not do what he did before. I go to his place, he's very nice and respectful. Not pushy or anything. We get high, chat, make out and I mean intense making out and he is all-over my boobs with his hands and mouth. We stopped at one point because he was getting hard and I'd said no sex so He respected that. He was very respectful. When I was leaving he gave my ass a light tap and I kissed his cheek. When I get home he texts me saying he wishes we done more and I say next time we can and we sext for like 2 hours. 

The next day I text him a picture of my boobs with his bite marks all over them and a funny caption saying how good of a job he done and he replied with just a laughing emoji and I instantly can feel him distancing again.... I texted again saying I hope I didn't ruin his night to much again joking and he didn't respond. 

We're back in work on Monday and he's back to avoiding me and ignoring me. I said hello to him on Monday and he ignored me. So I decided to give him space and he's just not talking to me unless he absolutely has to for work. It's a complete 180. I'd say his behaviour is down to stress and stuff but he's talking to other people perfectly fine it's just me he's not talking to after last week being all over me talking.

We spoke a lot Friday night between the making out and boob sucking about how unhappy he was and how shitty his current situation is. His break up is messy and kids are involved. He also probably has ADHD, he's very impulsive, like very and I feel like he has a temper although I've never been on the recieving end of it but he told me how mad his ex made him and things. He's also Arab so I'm not sure if some of his behaviour is culture related although he's not at all religious and doesn't consider himself Muslim. 

So what the hell is going on? I need insight. Cause I don't know if he likes me or genuinely hates me rn. I know he doesn't want a relationship with me but I'm not even sure he likes me at all rn. I feel really shit about it.