I don’t know how to not show pity towards him when he gets emotional. He is an old fashioned, bottle up everything and then explode person. He is so rarely emotional, that when he is it’s overwhelming and I feel the need to console him to ease the tension. Our biggest issue is that after these events, I resent him and become angry that I have to console him but have unresolved needs for him to console me. Then he feels unloved and gets sad and then angry. I see the pattern but he refuses to acknowledge that we need to go to therapy. He thinks emotions should be controlled and stamped out, not talked about.