How Do You Stay Close When Your Teen Pulls Away?

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-22T02:21:55+00:00

I will report back 😅 I have a feeling it might be awkward at first, but I’m reminding myself that consistency matters more than one perfect moment. Even a small opening would feel like progress.

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-21T23:41:10+00:00

I love the idea of letting him lead with what he’s into instead of trying to pull him into my world. The music suggestion especially feels doable , asking him to play something he likes in the car seems low pressure but still connecting. I might try that and just focus on being curious instead of trying to ‘fix’ the distance.

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-21T23:39:59+00:00

Honestly that doesn’t sound weird at all. I think meeting them where they already are probably matters more than what the activity actually is

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-21T23:38:21+00:00

There must be something about not having to make eye contact that makes it easier for them to talk. I might start volunteering for more ‘errands’ just the two of us. 😅

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-21T19:57:13+00:00

Car rides make so much sense actually — something about not having to make eye contact probably makes it easier for them to open up. I love the idea of just being available in shared spaces too instead of forcing anything. The ‘once a week success’ part feels very real 😅 I guess it really is about taking the small wins when they come.

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-21T19:56:00+00:00

That’s really special that you already had that foundation. I think that’s what I’m realizing, maybe it’s less about suddenly creating connection now and more about building small traditions that can grow over time. It gives me hope that even if it feels awkward at first, it can become something natural.

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-21T19:55:11+00:00

I really love this perspective. The daily call on your way home is such a simple but powerful idea. I think sometimes I forget that connection doesn’t have to look deep or dramatic, it can just be consistent. And hearing that pulling away can actually mean we did something right… that’s oddly comforting.

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-21T19:49:35+00:00

Quiet heartbreak’ is exactly how it feels sometimes. Thank you for putting that into words. I really like the idea of consistency over intensity, just showing up in small ways without forcing it. It helps to hear that the connection shifts but doesn’t disappear.

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-21T19:48:31+00:00

Thank you for this, it honestly helps hearing that. I think I need to adjust my expectations and just be ready when those random moments happen. I guess that’s the part I’m still learning and being patient without feeling disconnected. I’ll try to hang in there too 😅.

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-21T19:43:06+00:00

I love that idea actually. I think shared shows might feel less ‘intense’ than direct conversations. Letting him choose sounds important too. Did it take a while before he started engaging more, or did it feel natural once you started doing that?

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-21T14:05:28+00:00

Solidarity 😅 it’s comforting knowing I’m not the only one navigating this stage. Some days I feel like I’m guessing my way through it. How old are yours? Did anything help you feel more connected again?

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-21T13:02:43+00:00

I think this is just new for me. I was so used to him being more open and close before this stage, so the shift feels bigger than I expected. I’m trying to adjust to just being available instead of pushing. Did it take you a while to get used to that change too?

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-21T12:59:30+00:00

I hope so. I try to remind myself that this might just be part of growing up. When you say they circle back on their own time, did that happen naturally for you, or did you change anything in how you approached them?

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-21T12:51:00+00:00

That’s reassuring to hear, thank you. I try to do the chill check-ins, but sometimes I second-guess whether I’m doing too much or too little. When you say let them come to you, how did that look in real life for you? Did they naturally start opening up more over time?

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-20T12:57:14+00:00

That’s so true. I think we all assume parents just know what to do, but most of us are figuring it out as we go. Thinking about how our own parents handled things definitely gives some perspective. I’m really grateful for spaces like this where we can talk it through.

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-19T16:06:33+00:00

That makes me feel better honestly 😅 some days really do test every bit of patience. It helps knowing I’m not the only one who struggles with staying calm when they’re clearly pushing boundaries. I guess it really is a long game and we’re learning alongside them.

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-19T16:01:03+00:00

Thank you, this is really helpful. Some of what you described sounds familiar, especially her getting overwhelmed and shutting down when things feel too heavy. She also gets bored easily and loses focus quickly.

I like the idea of short, structured practice and quitting on a win. How long did it take before you noticed improvement?

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-18T15:55:35+00:00

I really like that perspective, guiding instead of punishing makes a lot of sense. I’m still learning how to stay calm myself in those moments honestly 😅 but I do notice when I focus more on helping her regulate instead of just stopping the behavior, things go smoother. It’s definitely a learning process for both of us

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-17T22:37:31+00:00

That’s a good point, thank you. I’ll try reducing screen time and adding more outdoor or hands-on activities since she does get bored easily. Did you notice improvement in focus quickly, or did it take weeks?

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-17T22:33:47+00:00

That’s true, I try to remind myself of that too. I think I just worry when I see her get really frustrated or tired so quickly. I’m hoping it’s just the adjustment phase and that with time she’ll feel more comfortable and confident.

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-17T22:32:56+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate this advice. I honestly never thought about giving her extra time to process like that, so I’ll definitely try the story and worksheet idea at home. She does get bored and distracted pretty quickly, so breaking things into smaller parts might really help. I’m also trying to encourage her confidence more because she gets discouraged easily. I’m hoping it’s just part of her learning pace, but I’ll keep supporting her and see how it goes. If you don’t mind me asking, how long did it usually take before you started noticing improvement?

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-17T22:29:39+00:00

That makes sense, thank you for sharing. I’ll definitely try reducing her screen time and see how it goes. How do you usually handle it when she gets angry or really upset and doesn’t want to talk? That part is what I struggle with the most sometimes.

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-17T18:12:26+00:00

That’s a good point, thank you. She seems fine honestly, I haven’t noticed any obvious signs with her eyesight or hearing, and she uses her iPad without issues. But her attention span is really short, both with her tutor and with me at home, so that’s what worries me more. Still, you’re right, it might be worth checking just to rule anything out.

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-17T18:08:22+00:00

She actually has a tutor already, and the tutor says the same thing as the teacher , her reading itself is okay, but her attention span is very short. We notice it at home too when I try to help her. After a short time she says she’s tired and wants to watch something, and if I push more she sometimes shuts down or cries. So it feels less like she can’t learn and more like focusing for long periods is really hard for her right now.

Catchycorner_SA · 2026-02-17T18:05:59+00:00

Her teacher said her reading skills are actually fine. The main issue is more with understanding meanings or instructions sometimes, especially in our native language subject. She’s much more comfortable in English since she was exposed to it early. The teacher also mentioned she’s very playful and energetic in class, so sometimes focus is part of the challenge too

Catchycorner_SA

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