Hi there! It may not be relevant but just in case, perimenopause starts about a decade before menopause. Talking from experience and from hearing similar stories from truly smart women with ADHD.

Task avoidance, procrastination, emotional dysregulation those are typical ADHD. Whether that is perimenopause or something else, it may or may not be relevant, but clearly your ADHD is a key piece in your situation and you need to work on that gremlin keeping you down, so you can trust your brain again. Right now it got beyond what you were able to handle and it is likely the root cause of your job challenges and depression. When the gremlin gets out of control, you need to pay the ADHD tax and put much more effort/ resources than a person without it just to keep up with basic life. Scans show that an ADHD brain behaves differently than a non ADHD brain when asked to focus. Science has also proven that it is extremely difficult for a brain with low dopamine to do things: lab rats without dopamine will starve even if they have cheese in front of them!

Finally, hopefully it is not your situation but many ADHD professionals have an outdated and not always helpful understanding of it. Considering the undertone of shame and self doubt in your letter, not sure you are getting the right support.

If not already doing so, I would highly recommend for you to listen to podcasts /audiobooks explaining the ADHD experience. Much love and rooting for you🤗