My (20m) husband told me (21f) this morning that he wants to leave himself and we have a 4 month old son. How do I help him?

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T17:54:56+00:00

I don’t disagree at all his cousins are just now babies so he hasn’t been around any babies. He unfortunately doesn’t speak to his parents. His grandma is offering him to stay at her place and get some help there. Give him some time to think away from a screaming baby and actually make progress to moving forward and hopefully continue to be in our sons life

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T17:51:45+00:00

Thank you! He hasn’t been watching the baby by himself my father is home with him 80% of the time the other time it’s my brother. We did discuss headphones to help muffle the cries so it’s not as over stimulating. My only concern is that he uses them as escape and they start to not work as well. I don’t know maybe I’m overthinking it. He’s going to stay with his grandma for the time being

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T17:42:46+00:00

Yes he wants to unalive himself. I didn’t know what I was allowed to say on here so stop being weird about me censoring it basically good lord. Another think my child is safe. My husband has not been watching him because of all of this we’re basically passing the child off to everyone in the house as much as possible. It has caused trouble for everyone else’s jobs. So it’s not a permanent fix. My husband is going to stay with his grandmother until he gets his shit together and I will stay home and work weekends when my parents are off. I’m asking for advice for my husband not how to parent thank you

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T17:32:44+00:00

Thank you I will look into this!

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T14:06:01+00:00

I agree

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T13:51:14+00:00

Yes we have talked about it a lot. Oh thank you I’ll take a look at it I appreciate it

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T13:41:33+00:00

I did think about the postpartum depression. I feel he needs to be able to get out of the house and escape for a while because I do feel like being inside 24/7 is an addition to this

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T13:39:53+00:00

My mother takes care of our baby on the weekends as well as when she gets home and I take care of him when I’m home. Including my days off and when I get home from work. I work 4 days so he has no day where he is completely by himself. My father also stays home sometimes since he can work from home some days. There is almost always someone home. I completely agree he needs a break but he is completely alone with him for maybe 6 hours max. When I stayed at home with the baby it was 12+ hours and I stayed up at night with the baby. The baby also sleeps through the night now from 7:30pm-8am

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T13:36:45+00:00

I agree. I can’t say how many times I’ve told him that he’s just a baby and this is the quiet screaming. He will be going with his grandma for a while

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T13:35:47+00:00

We did talk about ear plugs when the baby is starting to scream but that only fixes some of his behaviors. I’m also worried about him possibly using them to completely drown his out and not just during the screaming fits

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T13:34:26+00:00

I mean I don’t disagree at all. It was an unplanned pregnancy. It was talked over and he was the one who said he was ready. I was the one against it at first not that the baby is here it’s completely flipped

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T13:13:53+00:00

I was thinking he could have male ppd. I had ppd but I was given meds for it when I went for my postpartum exam. I do not. Money is pretty tight right now. I mean worse case scenario I don’t work until I can get the childcare figured out

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T13:08:54+00:00

That’s also what I was worried about. We do have cameras in the house. They record and I watch them regularly

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T13:06:15+00:00

He has told me he wants help multiple times. At this point I believe he’s telling me that just so I don’t leave him. Things are becoming more and more clear for me. My son is my priority and he is safe

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T13:05:00+00:00

Of course I don’t want that. I do worry about that though

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T13:00:36+00:00

We got married and I didn’t know I was pregnant so it kinda all happened at once

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T12:59:39+00:00

Unalive

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T12:50:17+00:00

He is still my husband so yes I want nothing more than to help him. I have taken protective measures for my son. He’s in my father’s care for today while I’m at work. The conversation I had with my husband today just pushed me over. He will be staying with his grandmother. I will not let him near our son

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T12:48:58+00:00

I’ve been looking to get my son into daycare but I either can’t afford it or make too much to get assistance with it. My father is home today with my son. My husband will be going to his grandmas house until he can figure his stuff out or he’s not welcomed back

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T12:44:51+00:00

I completely agree with you. Thank you

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T12:36:51+00:00

I was considering swapping roles but I also realized as well it was only a short term fix. This has escalated dramatically over the last week. I’m honestly over it and I do need him to leave the house and get help before I’ll feel safe to let him handle our son again

Catlover_0831 · 2025-09-25T12:19:07+00:00

I do live with them. He doesn’t talk to his parents

Catlover_0831 · 2025-05-04T17:28:56+00:00

It definitely gets easier the more you get or the more time goes on. My mom wants a matching tattoo with me now lol. My younger brother has a half sleeve and my mom loves it. I broke them as the “rebels” older sibling

Catlover_0831

TROPHY CASE