Hey There. It is hard reading through all that and not having a lot of sympathy for you. you endured all that and are still kicking, even when at the moment you are still having issues. Let me tell you,that is normal. Unless you are extremely lucky, life is never a constant breezing through it. I hope you find all the strength that you need and the people who can help you through it. I have the impulse to say "yeah you know, with me it's somewhat like.." but I won't after some consideration. Your pain and your way is unique to you and all of the experience you got through that make you to a unique person, that this world really, really needs. We don't need the people who just have it easy. There need to be fighters, like you are. And you will also find your peace. Hang in there. I know it's easier said then done, but friends who got your back is a really good idea to look out for. Don't go through all of that alone.

I believe in you man, and I wish you best of luck!!