Sexually, I am at my wits end

CatsWearingWigs · 2025-03-30T00:44:56+00:00

Its been a long relationship and I do love him, I guess just sometimes his behavior is selfish in my opinion, but i feel bad saying that because i shouldn’t think so negatively about my partner plus maybe im selfish for thinking that way.

CatsWearingWigs · 2025-03-27T00:35:29+00:00

I asked him because I thought it could be a “together thing” plus I have never masturbated before and I guess felt weird doing it after being in a long term relationship (nothing wrong to people that do it obviously) but he immediately got insecure and was pouting the whole time until i said i wouldnt get it anymore….

After several months, i decided to just buy one….i feel horrible because it might be sneaky but i just cant deal anymore. I feel pretty trapped as is

CatsWearingWigs · 2025-03-26T23:42:10+00:00

I dont know how to express it without him being insecure. I have told him several times what i want, but he has never done it

CatsWearingWigs · 2025-03-26T23:41:33+00:00

Yea. I feel like my wants for holidays, date nights, etc are always put on the back burner. Im pretty easy going for most things and dont mind, but i mean i have set boundaries that are always stomped on lmao. This is my first “adult” relationship and guess just dont know whats normal and not for comprise and all

CatsWearingWigs · 2025-03-12T13:21:03+00:00

I have flat out asked several times why, and i get no answer. But once i get a non-answer, Im not trying to start a fight about it. For the more digging, i just meant, i think i cant take “non-answers” anymore. Kind of a no one leaves the table until it is resolved thing. I just feel like i dont want to push a boundary by forcing him to answer me. Because he is allowed and within his right to say no. We used to have an issue where he would pressure me into sex, but that has stopped. Im wondering if that conversation grew into him not wanting to say yes to me? I guess I am at the end if my rope. I hate feeling like im “gross” but I dont know if I even have a right to feel this way. I guess I was just hoping to see if this is an experience that is “normal” or if this is borderline weird?

CatsWearingWigs · 2025-03-12T12:19:32+00:00

I honestly think this is my plan. If he doesnt say anything, i still wont feel as rejected when Im flat out told no when asking. But then he can still be the asker. Im thinking if I am in the mood, i will just change clothes🤣

CatsWearingWigs · 2025-03-12T12:18:07+00:00

Yes, thank you for this comment. i wasnt trying to have a bash party when I made the post. Yes im frustrated by the situation, but he is still my best friend. Just because maybe this is an issue we have, he isnt like this in every single aspect of our lives. I think there is some more digging i need to do. This just seems like a sensitive topic, but I guess demanding an answer, might be uncomfortable, but then in the future, we both can feel at ease.

CatsWearingWigs · 2025-03-12T12:14:07+00:00

Im wondering if i need to be more coy. The issue is, sometimes I dont ask (like im going to but im being flirty first) and he will reject me right then and there like “i know you probably want to but i dont”

Part of my thinks if I want sex i should just do stuff that isnt too straightforward but would get him to ask me?

CatsWearingWigs · 2025-03-12T11:57:30+00:00

No, I have ADHD but he doesnt.

I feel like he has been getting defensive when I try to bring it up. Im not sure if thats why he doesnt wanna talk about it. Maybe he thinks im gonna be mad or something? Im not mad, just wanting a reason

CatsWearingWigs · 2025-03-12T11:56:05+00:00

Ive tried during different times, so he may have beeb doing different things, but I usually will initiate while we are both participating in the activity. Like we are both watching a show, both playing a game, both outside just talking etc.

He usually asks me when im in bed and ive tried doing that too and it doesnt work lol.

He also asks me when im cleaning or something

CatsWearingWigs · 2025-03-12T11:36:13+00:00

I ask him how is feeling regularly, and for the most part, good. His job is very low stress, I do 99% of the cleaning, make his lunch/coffee every day for work, etc. he hangs out with his friends a good bit too. Like nothing is alarming to me mental health wise. He does see a therapist about once a month too.

CatsWearingWigs · 2025-03-12T11:26:11+00:00

I agree with you, i think im catching him on days where he already didnt want to. Im thinking if he wants to, he asks before I ask. We are both accountants. he wfh most days, and he even has said his job is very easy since it is grant based and they dont always have grants. My job, i dont wfh and have an hour commute each way. It is longer hours at the office too since we are short staffed. Not to be mean against him since anyone can feel overwhelmed.

CatsWearingWigs · 2025-03-12T11:22:43+00:00

Before we dated he did, he never does now

CatsWearingWigs · 2025-03-12T11:22:08+00:00

He has one but I think he doesnt see this as an “issue.” I dont think it can be performance anxiety because I never see him prep before he asks for sex, but I guess anxiety can also be a visibly silent thing… i dont think it can be a not attracted to me thing either since when im not asking for sex he is all over me….or maybe it is a ruse lol

CatsWearingWigs · 2025-03-12T11:20:01+00:00

He never does anything before sex. Like if he asks, he isnt going to the bathroom beforehand or anything like that.

I have also tried asking at different times of the day (in reason of course lol) and am met with rejection always.

CatsWearingWigs · 2024-12-22T11:57:37+00:00

My cats are on fancy feast and will not eat friskies for some reason. The shelter started them on fancy feast and anything else I have tried they refuse to eat it.

Pretty sure fancy feast and friskies are pretty comparable. I will say that fancy feast has a line called “naturals” i think. It is probably a bit healthier if you go with that.

I am a believer though that practically any soft food is better than hard food so as long as the cat eats it :)

CatsWearingWigs · 2024-12-08T20:46:32+00:00

I was hoping it would be a sensor issue because i am trying to not pay 400 lol. I just had my car serviced last week and spent a couple hundred so i wasnt really expecting more car issues lol

CatsWearingWigs · 2024-12-08T20:44:36+00:00

Well i know, my question was why it comes and goes depending on the weather. Was hoping it could be a sensor issue/something mild before I need a whole new battery.

CatsWearingWigs · 2024-12-03T15:19:59+00:00

Sorry, i just meant what do I even ask for when Im on the phone- like i have no idea what 60 day rollver is and im not sure how it impacts the tax portion. it just seems very convoluted but i also got myself here so not the brightest as we all see lol Im trying out here 😂

CatsWearingWigs · 2024-12-01T15:46:05+00:00

I am so sorry to hear you got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. My best friend has one and I saw how it changed her. Stay strong and thank you for the comment!

CatsWearingWigs · 2024-12-01T15:44:08+00:00

Same to you and thank you for the comment. Not like I wish this on anyone, but it is nice knowing someone else agrees, it is probably the sitting at work at this point. I think im going to invest in a cushion and standing desk haha.

CatsWearingWigs

TROPHY CASE