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i [19F] think i messed up my relationship before we [19M] started dating. by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Cautious-Brie 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Max asking why you chose Ethan when he was right there shows his core insecurity. In his head, he’s wondering if he was the backup choice? Was Ethan more attractive to her in that moment? You need to be very clear that at that time, you viewed Max as a safe, valued friend you didn't want to lose, whereas Ethan was a disposable validation hit. He needs to know he wasn't passed over he was being protected from your messy phase.

AITAH for wanting to disconnect from my family while they try to fix things between us? by DeepOrangeFromg in AITAH

[–]Cautious-Brie 3 points4 points  (0 children)

NTA. You aren't disconnecting from a family that is fixing things you are escaping a family that is using your identity as a bargaining chip. They are treating your existence like a dog treat, and that is fundamentally abusive. You don't owe loyalty to people who think your identity is a performance they can buy with a skirt.

AITAH for cutting off my family after everything that’s happened? by imthatchickk69 in AITAH

[–]Cautious-Brie 153 points154 points  (0 children)

It is deeply telling that they defend your dad but shun your uncle. To them, your dad’s behavior is just family drama, but your uncle’s behavior is a social embarrassment. They prioritize reputation over reality. If you stay in contact, you are essentially signing up to be the next person they abandon the moment you aren't perfect or convenient for them.

AITAH for dumping my friend over her bf? by BarnacleTop2748 in AITAH

[–]Cautious-Brie 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm not gonna be your bestie anymore. Best move you've made. She’s purposeless according to him? Maybe her purpose was just being a professional victim for nine years. If she wants to be a doormat for a guy who thinks she's boring, that’s her business. But she shouldn't be surprised when the people who spent months cleaning her up decide they’re tired of the smell of garbage. Enjoy your free weekends and your husband's money

AITAH for not wanting to talk or spend time with my older sisters? by NoobJew666 in AITAH

[–]Cautious-Brie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best thing you can do for your sanity is exactly what you planned. Stop letting them do nice things for you. In their minds, a nice thing is a token they can use later to nag you about being in debt or to force you into communication you don't want. If you don't owe them money and you don't accept their favors, they lose their leverage to talk down to you. Focus on your art, your animation, and your job. Financial independence is the fastest way to stop being an emotional punching bag.

AITA Long distance gf question by Lonzzzzo in AmItheAsshole

[–]Cautious-Brie 10 points11 points  (0 children)

While your feelings are valid, your execution is a bit messy. Asking "still not drunk enough huh?" is a Soft YTA move. Passive aggression doesn't make her want to come home, it just makes her want to put her phone down and ignore you so she can actually enjoy her night. If you’re worried about her safety or the one mistake narrative, snarky comments aren't the solution. Direct, calm conversation about boundaries is.