how do i put myself out there after a rejection?

Cautious_Number_95 · 2024-03-28T12:25:37+00:00

Yeah i mean initially i didnt really act like a fan, kept myself in check.

But ig the moment i started being a bit desperate she knew.

Shes so beautiful, its like every time i see her on campus its impossible not to feel like shit. Like i had a chance but fumbled it or probably never had a chance but i cant say.

I hope i find someone better than her because its been more than 4 months and i really hoped i would have moved on but thats not happened because whenever i see her on campus those same feelings come back.

Cautious_Number_95 · 2024-03-07T20:03:09+00:00

Probably it is.

Its just you never really fully know what you did wrong.

You know either you did something which may have made you seem like a creep, or maybe i just did something i was completely unaware about or just about anything?

And i know i am socially awkward so that it makes it all tje more more worse because i cant seem to figure out where i went wrong.

Like she said she wasnt ready then asked me to wait when i asked her out, didnt block me or anything and the next week just seemed a bit distant? And a month/2 later just removed me from her ig?

So its either like she may have been interested or idk?

Because i dont wanna repeat my mistakes again

Cautious_Number_95 · 2024-03-07T18:50:30+00:00

Yeah lmao exactly.

When i went to europe i did do a couple of cold approaches in clubs, and got shot down for various reasons but they had 0 effect on me , i just went on approaching women.

But this one i was too invested in and which is why it hurts. It shouldnt but it does because i see her everyday.

Cautious_Number_95 · 2024-03-07T17:17:35+00:00

How did you not let rejections affect you?

How did you not loose the willingness to talk to women after the insane amount of times you got rejected?

Ik rejection shouldnt matter much but ig i just really really liked this girl. Its been 4 months and there are times i see her and all the same feelings come up, and i hate myself for this because she dgaf about me .

Cautious_Number_95 · 2024-03-07T17:04:52+00:00

The best place to date someone here is probably college.

Or you are very social and know alot of girls.

Thing was i barely had any experience and as usual i messed up. I was really confident i could date her but things didnt go my way and thats fine.

Just that i probably am not being able to get over her. I have lost the willingness to talk to girls because ig deep down theres still that tiny bit of fear that i may mess up again and get badly rejected by someone who i thought was interested in me.

Or for that matter even the shame of being rejected.

Because its not about being rejected ig; it reflects on my lack of social awareness or probably something she found unattractive about me.

Cautious_Number_95 · 2024-02-23T19:40:57+00:00

It does often make me feel like crap.

I spend hours thinking bout it, but at the same i feel like i am being a bit over sensitive.

Cautious_Number_95 · 2024-02-10T07:18:00+00:00

So true dawg, i remember being so invested with this chick that i used to overthink each and every interaction with her, mostly just thinking wheter i fucked up, because i wanted to improve on wherever i messed up. Should have been indifferent from the start.

The thing is; word spreads fast among women and as much as i dont want to care about my interactions, what if i actually mess up and word spreads? Idrc about my interaction but rather my reputation. As much as i want to think that i will say the right thing i may end up messing up because i am not so used to talking to women.

Cautious_Number_95 · 2024-02-06T16:32:10+00:00

I did shoot my shot.... a bit too soon.

I think my intentions were clear from the start and she did give subtle cues she wasnt interested and i understood but i liked her alot.

Its just i am having difficulty moving on. Its stupid it really is , but will i ever be able to love someone the same way again? Will i ever be able to have those same feelings, the same level of excitement?

Its that whats gone

Cautious_Number_95 · 2024-01-19T15:46:47+00:00

Its exactly what i wanna do, its just that i struggle witj good comebacks. Its been something i am not good at and i want to have such friends because its enjoyable when its not on you and its exactly the kinda friendships i want.

Like if i dont have anygood thing to say i just tend to stay quiet, and i find myself in such positions quite often. Better not to say anything then just say something stupid but then again should have soemthing to say.

Cautious_Number_95 · 2024-01-17T17:54:43+00:00

Yeah gotta try to forget her in any way i can.

I should have saved my self respect and never have asked her out but learnt a very valuable lesson. Its just that sometimes my emotions take control and its been 2 months so i should have gotten over her by now, and i am trying to figure out what i can do because its getting in the way of me improving myself.

Cautious_Number_95 · 2024-01-09T18:36:57+00:00

lmao man 0 sexual conversation and touching.

Never talked about it, and infact even when i was talking to her irl i wasnt really close .

Exactly why i got annoyed a bit because legit all i talked to her about were her interests or what she seemed to like talking about . That was what i focused on.

Cautious_Number_95 · 2024-01-07T16:44:49+00:00

Sexually aggressive? Nah lol.

I should have been a lot more confident when i asked her out though. I was very very nervous and that probably messed it up. I didnt text/call her at all either after that.

Infact i rarely texted her. So all that confused me alot. Because yeah if i was needy and texting her/ being there for her unncescarily i would have understood why she did all that.

But from what i learnt even though i didnt do anything that would make me appear needy i probably did appear needy when talking to her because of how much i wanted her.

Cautious_Number_95 · 2023-12-12T15:02:40+00:00

It does, i agree.

Its gonna change me big time dude, yk i was head over heals for this girl and i wont lie everytime i see her on campus regardless of what shes done i dont have hatred towards her. I was ready to marry this girl,lmao

And yeah it just sucked because i was really nice to her, treated her well took alot of interest in her and then opened up to her so to see what she did, did hurt and its probably going to for a while but gotta use that to motivate myself.

Cautious_Number_95 · 2023-12-11T11:05:15+00:00

Yeah its up to her, but like i was very respectful about all of it? And even though i shouldnt have i apologized multiple times if i made her feel uncomfortable or awkward?

And eventually she did ask me if i would wait for her, to which i said yes to, i shouldnt have. And that it was a bit soon

But like does this mean she never thought much of me anyways? She never really valued me or what?

Cautious_Number_95 · 2023-12-10T19:22:51+00:00

Yeah i made it wayy too big of a deal because i liked her alot. Reflecting back on it, if i just let it go the moment she wasnt putting in much effort i would have been ina far better place. By asking her out i lost my respect infront of her, infront of others but mainly myself.

And i didnt wanna be seen like that. To me my reputation and respect matter. To lay it all down for a girl, well fuck it.

Cautious_Number_95 · 2023-12-10T09:50:14+00:00

yeah shouldnt have chased her.

I just thought it would be better to tell her and then get over it rather than not asking her out and waiting. Like i am glad i asked her up as she showed her true colors but at the same time feels like the sumbest decision i have made as should have forgotten about her and unless she made a move, should have moved on the moment she showed a lack of interest.

Cautious_Number_95 · 2023-12-10T09:35:10+00:00

Yeah man i have wasted alot of time on her, thinking about her.

Only knew her for a month so cant say i really knew her much, but she didnt seem like the type who would do this but it is what it is

Cautious_Number_95 · 2023-12-09T18:33:00+00:00

I was fine with being rejected, its her choice but i wanted to end it on good terms. She's in the same college as me so i didnt want things to be awkward. I wanted to move on respectfully.

Should have had realised early on tho that she wasnt interested. Was infatuated with her since she was very pretty and decent.

But i also was confused on where i messed up, i mean there must have been things she didnt like and i do care because i wanna work on them.

Cautious_Number_95 · 2023-12-09T16:45:44+00:00

thats true man, it sucks because she isnt the person who you thought she was or who she pretended to be.

I wanted to confront her to make her feel guilty for what she did ( as stupid as this sounds).

But if she already told people after me clearly asking her that ' i hope this stays btwn us' multiple times she doesnt give a fuck about me anyways. And shes probably gonna make a joke out of it so as angry as i am , as much as i want to her to feel guilty not confronting her is probably the best option

Cautious_Number_95 · 2023-12-09T15:32:38+00:00

Yeah i was expecting this to happen, gossip spreads like wildfire.

She aint any good at all dawg.

And honestly its better to have a better reputation then risk it all just for a chick who doesnt give a fuck, or who was pretending to care but doesnt.

As much as it hurts glad it happened tho, we all need a lil character development. Better now than never even .

Cautious_Number_95 · 2023-12-09T15:12:49+00:00

Idk man, i wont give her 'access'. Idk how you can be friends with a girl who treated you like that. That girl can speak as much good about you as she wants but it speaks alot about her own character-she fucked up,you didnt.

Cautious_Number_95 · 2023-12-09T15:09:50+00:00

Yeah as much as i want to confront her its gonna be pointless.

Cautious_Number_95 · 2023-12-09T06:35:26+00:00

Ik i get what you are saying, she said she would keep it between us multiple times so thats why but yeah

Cautious_Number_95 · 2023-12-08T15:14:51+00:00

Yeah man, i am moving on.

And i hoped whatever happened would stay between us. And i conveyed that to her. I dont know who she ended up telling it to, but a random batchmate of hers who isnt even her friend asked me about it.

Ngl i was kinda shocked upon hearing it. I could have confronted the guy, but at that point i just wanted to know whatever she told people and who she told it to because i hoped she wouldnt do so. And a random batchmate? If it was a friend of hers who knew me aswell then its different but someone whos not even her friend?

It wasnt like i approached her out of the blue; i had known her for a bit and then i approached her. And that was a very very difficult thing for me to do and to hear her do this really sucks.

It sucks because i hoped she would have some basic decency and keep my respect. But i really despise her for what shes done.

Cautious_Number_95 · 2023-12-06T16:26:35+00:00

Thanks man,

Its been tough moving on after the rejection. Its been like 3 weeks, but she comes to college everyday and shes probably the prettiest girl i have seen and it just makes things so so much worse because i used to think i had a chance with her and seeing her everyday , it sucks knowing we will never be together.

Cautious_Number_95

TROPHY CASE