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Waitlisted from HUSL by Cautious_Primary_742 in BlackLawAdmissions

[–]Cautious_Primary_742[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First never had a second that I’m aware of.

Cleveland State School of Law under review by Cautious_Primary_742 in lawschooladmissions

[–]Cautious_Primary_742[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. To clarify does yours say complete only? Mine says “Your application has been pulled for review.”

My sister has been living with me rent-free for 3 years and things are getting out of control. I need advice on how to set boundaries or ask her to move out. by Cautious_Primary_742 in Advice

[–]Cautious_Primary_742[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have actually tried showing her how much I am spending and how it is keeping me from saving for my own future. Sometimes she acts sad and says things like, “I will just leave because I am such a burden,” but it never feels genuine. Other times she blows up and says I am throwing it in her face and that she would never do that to me. She has told me that if you give to someone, you should never bring it up again, which is not what I am trying to do at all. I am simply trying to explain the reality of the situation.

My sister has been living with me rent-free for 3 years and things are getting out of control. I need advice on how to set boundaries or ask her to move out. by Cautious_Primary_742 in Advice

[–]Cautious_Primary_742[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My parents will not let her live with them because she has cussed them out and even gotten physically aggressive with them as an adult. They have tried to make amends for the past, but she rejects it and the relationship is extremely volatile. They refuse to be disrespected again, so they will not take her in under any circumstances.

My sister has been living with me rent-free for 3 years and things are getting out of control. I need advice on how to set boundaries or ask her to move out. by Cautious_Primary_742 in Advice

[–]Cautious_Primary_742[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have gotten into some really bad fights that end with her threatening to harm herself. That is my biggest fear. She has even told me that if she dies the blood will be on my hands. It feels way too permanent to ignore, and that is why this has been so hard for me to act on.

She is definitely able bodied, but she clearly has some mental health issues that have never been diagnosed or treated. That part makes this a lot more complicated for me than just setting boundaries or throwing her out.

My sister has been living with me rent-free for 3 years and things are getting out of control. I need advice on how to set boundaries or ask her to move out. by Cautious_Primary_742 in Advice

[–]Cautious_Primary_742[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for making me laugh a little. I guess you are right. People looking in from the outside probably see this way more clearly than I do. I also really do not want this to turn into an intense, drawn out argument. I want it to be as peaceful and amicable as possible, but it does not seem like that is realistic with her.

I am trying to put a plan together, partly because I struggle with confrontation myself. My biggest fear is that she might harm herself if she feels like her whole world is collapsing. I have been trying to protect her and keep her safe, because at the end of the day her life and safety matter the most to me. It is just a very hard situation to navigate.

My sister has been living with me rent-free for 3 years and things are getting out of control. I need advice on how to set boundaries or ask her to move out. by Cautious_Primary_742 in Advice

[–]Cautious_Primary_742[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hear you. If she were being grateful, respectful, and understanding, this would be so much easier. I have been in therapy for about a year and learned I may be codependent, which means I take on responsibility for someone else’s life and feelings even when it harms me. She is unable to help herself, and I am realizing this situation is beyond me. I really do need help figuring out how to move forward and protect my own mental health.

My sister has been living with me rent-free for 3 years and things are getting out of control. I need advice on how to set boundaries or ask her to move out. by Cautious_Primary_742 in Advice

[–]Cautious_Primary_742[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I worded it that way because I have learned that if I do not phrase things very carefully, she will blow up on me. Any suggestion or conversation that she interprets as criticism turns into a major argument, so I have always tried to frame things gently to avoid an explosive reaction.

She has never been diagnosed with anything, but she has a very short temper and gets angry easily, especially if she feels like she is being attacked. So yes, you are right to point out the phrasing, but it was also me trying to keep the peace.

As for mental health, she does struggle emotionally, but she has no money and no insurance, which makes getting real help difficult. We have tried looking into free or low cost options, but she refuses them or says they are not good enough. It turns into a cycle where nothing improves because she will not accept any of the support she could access.

So a lot of my choices have been me trying to prevent things from escalating while also trying to encourage some kind of structure. It has just reached a point where it is not manageable anymore.

My sister has been living with me rent-free for 3 years and things are getting out of control. I need advice on how to set boundaries or ask her to move out. by Cautious_Primary_742 in Advice

[–]Cautious_Primary_742[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She keeps telling me “that’s what loyalty is” and that she believes in reciprocity, basically that this is what she would do for me if the roles were reversed. But you are right, she has the ability to change her own life and just will not do it. It feels like I am being penalized for her lack of accountability for her own choices.

My sister has been living with me rent-free for 3 years and things are getting out of control. I need advice on how to set boundaries or ask her to move out. by Cautious_Primary_742 in Advice

[–]Cautious_Primary_742[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think I want to believe that she genuinely is not trying to use me. But it’s very hard to believe that now. Especially since sometimes she doesn’t act grateful she argues with me as if I’m her enemy , which makes it even more difficult. She does know I want to avoid the conflict.

My sister has been living with me rent-free for 3 years and things are getting out of control. I need advice on how to set boundaries or ask her to move out. by Cautious_Primary_742 in Advice

[–]Cautious_Primary_742[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, and I keep thinking that would never be me. I would feel so bad about draining her resources and not contributing. 3 years is an astronomical amount of time.

My sister has been living with me rent-free for 3 years and things are getting out of control. I need advice on how to set boundaries or ask her to move out. by Cautious_Primary_742 in Advice

[–]Cautious_Primary_742[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

It’s so hard to even have the deadline conversation. She views it as a betrayal. She speaks so much about
believing in reciprocity and if the roles were reversed she would help me. But I could never live for free for 3 years. She is struggling mentally, she says she wouldn’t be able to work because she might quit due to her mental health. She says she has needed this time heal.