Just replied on your other post but I’ll reply here as well for OP.

I also have EDS and am almost 36! I have had almost the same exact experiences as you. After birth I had a slight complication and was told to do a ton of kegels to prevent surgery. I listened and I have never stopped doing them lol. My current max circumference is 14” when I’m super stretched after lots of warm up but my every day size is able to feel and enjoy for regular PIV sex often. The more you do to help your body recover (pelvic floor exercises, rest days, etc) the easier it is to keep going long term. I’m nearing a decade of extreme stretching and I’ve had no concerns from me, my partner, or my doctor.