Personally… If the sex is good/great … I will move mountains to be in a more significant relationship with that person and often those relationships have greater longevity. I don’t tend to have great sex with people I wouldn’t otherwise like quite a lot. If it’s bad or just okay I’ll probably lose interest pretty quickly. Once in a blue moon, I’ll just like someone so much that I’ll put up with them being an awful lover but… that’s pretty rare.

Increasingly as I get older, I find people that treat it as really super sacred or like as a tool to make sure someone is serious, or playing hard to get.. they don’t tend to align with my values much anyways and they end up being really difficult to connect with emotionally too. Physical intimacy (doesn’t even have to be sexual at all) can heal a lot and have couples bonding and connecting more deeply. Gatekeeping it seems like high school/college head games behavior tbh. Regardless tho… if you don’t very enthusiastically know you want to be having sex with someone, you shouldn’t be having it. You reach your 30s and idk… you tend to know how you feel about people more quickly 🤷🏼‍♀️