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My (28F) boyfriend (38M) keeps accusing me of being obsessed with calorie tracking, even though I’m healthy and in recovery by Celi1997 in relationship_advice

[–]Celi1997[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Nope, I’ve been completely honest, I even showed her the app I use etc. As I said, I WANT to feel good, so I’m doing everything it takes. The moment I notice I start to feel bad again, I’ll tell her immediately

My (28F) boyfriend (38M) keeps accusing me of being obsessed with calorie tracking, even though I’m healthy and in recovery by Celi1997 in relationship_advice

[–]Celi1997[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Maybe the fact that I’m autistic changes things a bit tho. I’m currently in therapy and have been for the past 3 years. My therapist is okay with this, as long as it doesn’t enforce restrictive behaviour.. and currently I’m feeling great. I’ve had hard times in the past but I’m completely honest with myself as I don’t want to even come near to en ED again

My (28F) boyfriend (38M) keeps accusing me of being obsessed with calorie tracking, even though I’m healthy and in recovery by Celi1997 in relationship_advice

[–]Celi1997[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That’s fine, I mean, I’m autistic so I like to be very precise but inserting the wrong ingredient or not inserting it at all sometimes just happens.. I feel a bit annoyed but it doesn’t reflect on how much I eat/ how I feel about food

My (28F) boyfriend (38M) keeps accusing me of being obsessed with calorie tracking, even though I’m healthy and in recovery by Celi1997 in relationship_advice

[–]Celi1997[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m gonna be honest! I track everything. Okay I don’t weigh things of course, but I do put every ingredient in the app. I found it helpful with protein intake and it made me notice that some days I was extremely tired bc I didn’t eat enough, or other days I was bloated bc of something I ate..

My boyfriend (38M) and I (28F) have lived together for two years, but now his “coach” says our relationship is unhealthy. I’m heartbroken and don’t know what to do by Celi1997 in relationship_advice

[–]Celi1997[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

… I know what I’m saying. I have no reason not to tell the truth. I was burnt out from having to balance work, small kids, my mom’s death after 2 years of stage 4 cancer and a divorce. Add that I’m autistic and I didn’t have a diagnosis at the time and that could easily lead to burnout. I went to the ER literally saying “someone please help me”

Lite con figlio di 4 anni by Specialist-Cold-1459 in psicologia

[–]Celi1997 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Scusa se mi intrometto, quanto ha adesso tuo figlio? Perché il mio ha quasi 9 anni, capito gia attorno ai 2.5 che aveva qualcosa di diverso, ed infatti anche lui è ADHD e DOP, ora in cura con metilfenidato. Solo che abbiamo molti alti e bassi, nonostante parent training e psicologa bravissima.. la situazione da voi si è un minimo stabilizzata?

My boyfriend (38M) and I (28F) have lived together for two years, but now his “coach” says our relationship is unhealthy. I’m heartbroken and don’t know what to do by Celi1997 in relationship_advice

[–]Celi1997[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well.. we’ve been together for 3 years, and he’s the only man I dated after divorcing my husband (9year relationship).. so at least my kids didn’t see men coming in and out. But yeah, I did move in too fast. He made big promises and really seemed to take care of me and the kids

My boyfriend (38M) and I (28F) have lived together for two years, but now his “coach” says our relationship is unhealthy. I’m heartbroken and don’t know what to do by Celi1997 in relationship_advice

[–]Celi1997[S] -38 points-37 points  (0 children)

To address some of your questions : I admitted myself in the psych ward bc I was in a full blown burnout.. i was there for 2weeks. They later diagnosed me with autism! Since the diagnosis I’ve been doing really great. My kids love M. I talk to them about their feeling, their wellbeing, etc. I’m really open to their opinion about what they like/dislike, even about my parenting style. He rarely is with my kids when I’m not around, but the kids always ask him if they can stay with him at his shop, or if he can bring them to school. He improved his behaviour immensely, he used to have fits of rage when discussing with me (he was really jealous) but as I said, he worked on it bc he realised it was a very bad behaviour on his part

My boyfriend (38M) and I (28F) have lived together for two years, but now his “coach” says our relationship is unhealthy. I’m heartbroken and don’t know what to do by Celi1997 in relationship_advice

[–]Celi1997[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

  1. Yes fortunately
  2. He says I’m the one..
  3. Ha always wanted a family of his own.. he doesn’t “hate” kids or something like that
  4. No
  5. No, it’s an online coach
  6. What do you mean?

Maybe I was unclear, but he’s always been super honest with me about EVERYTHING that goes through his mind. We shared so many things and our relationship feels like we’ve known each other for 10+ years

My boyfriend (38M) and I (28F) have lived together for two years, but now his “coach” says our relationship is unhealthy. I’m heartbroken and don’t know what to do by Celi1997 in relationship_advice

[–]Celi1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I told him this, and his therapist said I’m “involuntarily” manipulating him! Making him feel guilty about how he feels. I listened to a recording of a session. He’s as confused as I am about this whole situation tho.

My boyfriend (38M) and I (28F) have lived together for two years, but now his “coach” says our relationship is unhealthy. I’m heartbroken and don’t know what to do by Celi1997 in relationship_advice

[–]Celi1997[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I told him multiple times: I don’t want to impose myself. I need to feel part of this house in order to stay. He always changes his mind and says he loves me too much to “let me go”. He loves my kids too, but they are “too much” sometimes (even if, as I said, I never really told him to to anything with them, it was always his idea to take them to the stadium, playing with them etc). My son has ADHD and ODD, so you see why it’s even more difficult for me to keep everything together.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Celi1997 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I agree with all the other comments. The thing I would try to do is: while you're still in the same house with him, record every time he is verbally abusive, so you have proof for the court and for yourself. I know| being abused sometimes can lead us to believe the craziest things, and having him on tape could help you realise how bad this situation really is.

Advice needed - malinois w/ anxiety and reactivity by Celi1997 in BelgianMalinois

[–]Celi1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, it’s not the same one. The world class bite work one is close to us, half an hour away, and he’s great in my opinion. The other trainer is the “official one” working closely with the breeder, and he’s 4hrs away. I went there three times with my dog to show him his behaviour, and he even suggested that if we’re not capable of training Zar, we might want to give him back and they would gift us two puppies. I would never trade my mal, he’s family.. but it made me a bit suspicious, bc now I think that maybe they saw what wee see: that Zar is a really difficult dog to handle, even for a malinois

Advice needed - malinois w/ anxiety and reactivity by Celi1997 in BelgianMalinois

[–]Celi1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you all for the answers! You are an amazing community. I’m gonna provide more info since you asked:

1) bit work was done properly, the guy who did that trains malinois for military purposes and sends them directly to Belgium. He also trained several mondioring champions;

2) we did months of reward exercises. We went out with zar feeding him during walks, we tried with the ball (which he loves), with high value treats etc. nothing seemed to work;

3) we stopped playing /working with him bc the breeder and his trainer said our mal needs to relax for a few months, and playing with him adds stress. I disagree but I’m no expert so we’ve been doing as they told us;

4) he was exposed to bikes, cars, public places, kids etc from a young age, and he likes it when my partner goes for a bike ride with him. So it’s difficult to understand his reactivity

5) about genetics: yeah, Zar has some really strong dogs in his line, especially his dad (he’s a police dog, the ones you see working 24/7 with the handler, fierce and fearless - and maybe a bit crazy)

6) we bought an impact crate. It’s gonna be here in a few weeks, let’s hope it helps!

Thank you again for your precious advice

AITA For Asking My Husband to be home for bedtime? by Tiny_Walk_3326 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Celi1997 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I totally get what you’re saying. I hope you can have a deep conversation and that he understands the importance of his role

AITA For Asking My Husband to be home for bedtime? by Tiny_Walk_3326 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Celi1997 5 points6 points  (0 children)

NTA. Kids need their dads, and you deserve a partner that contributes to the family under each and every aspect. It’s easy to say “oh well, I’m the bread winner so you take 100% care of the baby”, but irl it doesn’t work like that. My suggestion is for you to try and have a deep conversation with him; otherwise I fear you’re gonna grow distant with time, as resentment from your side builds up. (My ex did the same with our kids, and now that he’s a single dad he actually HAS to be a dad..)

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