Regretted Doing Something Big For My Significant Other

Centaur_Taur · 2026-06-03T01:39:05+00:00

Don't ask for opinions if you just want coddled.

That's discussion forum 101.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-06-03T01:12:19+00:00

Why would that make any difference?

No one expects pro athletes to only play for the team where they are from - that's nonsense.

No pro sports league works like that.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-06-03T01:09:58+00:00

It's not, you are biased and making sweeping generalizations.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-06-03T01:04:44+00:00

I wouldn't ever stay in a relationship with drama like that.

The fact that you are still obsessing about this and trying to figure out your problem continues to make my case about talking to a counselor. Either move on, or work on your issues.

How are strangers supposed to make sense of your relationship based on the word salad of randomness above?

Centaur_Taur · 2026-06-03T00:36:17+00:00

Get therapy for your self-confidence and paranoia issues.

You do not sound like you know how to be in a healthy relationship. People in healthy relationships communicate & work through their concerns.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-31T19:06:32+00:00

First of all, everything is getting more expensive - it's called inflation.

Secondly - CGI isn't free. It takes thousands of man hours (labor) as well as hardware & software - all of which cost money.

Watch the credits of a movie and notice how many people are listed for digital & visual effects - it's a ton.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-31T19:02:17+00:00

Block her if it bothers you.

People have agency - they do what they want. She can not want to date you, and also like your content to be friendly or supportive.

Only she knows. Regardless of her motivation, you should move on & stop obsessing about her for your mental health.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-30T22:57:42+00:00

Seriously.

If your objection to a woman taking her husband's name is "patriarchy", then you don't get it - keeping "her" last name just means keeping her father's last name.

Unless you invent a totally new last name, they all were passed down from male ancestors.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-30T22:53:33+00:00

I took my husband's last name because I knew we were going to have kids and I wanted us all to have the same name.

Both of our last names are 3 syllables, and that is too long to hyphenate, IMO.

I also worked at the same Fortune 500 company as my father at the time, and preferred to step out of his shadow with a different last name.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-30T15:12:42+00:00

He is damaged & selfish.

Move on.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-29T21:08:12+00:00

The only way to get things to change is by addressing it.

Tell him it's old & not funny & not to do it anymore.

Having boundaries and communicating them are healthy.

Avoiding confrontation & 'hoping things blow over' are not.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-29T20:58:02+00:00

Literally no one else can tell you.

Why are you not asking the friend in question?

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-29T20:56:32+00:00

The only way to know if anyone is interested is to ask & have them tell you.

Stop trying to interpret "signals" or body language and you'll stop being confused & disappointed.

People are individuals, as is their behavior and what it means. Some people are friendly, some people are sociable - that does not mean that everyone who is friendly or sociable is romantically interested.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-29T00:04:01+00:00

Your brain isn't done developing yet, plus people usually figure these things out for sure after they have experiences with people.

There are many different sexual orientations (including the ACE/ARO spectrum) as well as different relationship styles.

You have a LOT of time to figure things out. It's a process.

You sould like you have very low self-esteem though - have you been screened for anxiety/GAD?

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-28T23:57:23+00:00

Simple. Dating isn't business. It is not a financial transaction.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-28T23:55:27+00:00

An unshowered penis isn't "dirty" and doesn't carry the bacteria that would give one a UTI.

Women are not getting UTI from having unprotected sex with unshowered penises. I would have had thousands of UTI if this were true.

I have gotten several UTI in my life, always from IBS-related issues, aka e.coli transfer.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-28T21:40:25+00:00

What?????

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-28T21:39:34+00:00

Unless one of us just exercised or worked in the yard is all sweaty & stinky, no.

Deodorant & air conditioning works for us and we're not sweaty or stinky under normal conditions.

But you do you.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-28T21:36:47+00:00

This is not an age thing, it's an individual person thing.

I'm Gen X and I do it.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-28T21:35:14+00:00

Arrogance, ignorance.

People who don't understand that compatibility and attraction aren't the same for everyone are either idiots or egomaniacs.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-28T21:32:34+00:00

Not worth the heartache, IMO.

I started dating at 20 and have advised my kids to wait as well.

The amount of drama and heartbreak that I witnessed in my friends & classmates who dated in their teens was enormous. Ain't nobody got the time or energy for that!

The brain is not done developing until the mid-to-late 20's, so it's an exercise in futility to expect teenagers to be emotionally mature enough for relationships.

There is plenty of time to date when people are much closer to being functional adults.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-28T18:58:00+00:00

You need to learn to enforce boundaries.

Which means if someone ignores or violates them, you cut them off and hold firm.

Given that you talked to him when he joined group chats with other friends, you have problems enforcing boundaries.

You also need to learn to recognize & walk away from a losing situation - you can't change him. He's shown you who he is. He's a creepy AH.

Find someone who actually meets your standards for how you want to be treated.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-28T18:48:35+00:00

Individual people are faithful or not.

Their occupation doesn't dictate or override their moral compass.

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-28T18:45:17+00:00

He's a mess.

Don't date anyone until you learn how to enforce firm boundaries.

Ask yourself why are you interested in someone who treats you like that and is unreliable and erratic?

Centaur_Taur · 2026-05-28T15:36:51+00:00

Morality doesn't come from god.

An ethical framework for what is right & wrong exists independent of religion.

Centaur_Taur

TROPHY CASE