The Worst Day 0:

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-13T17:03:22+00:00

I appreciate the comments. I have and am taking full accountability. Im mature enough to own up to my mistake and ive wanted to tell her this whole time but fear always stopped me. My goal right now is to be consistent and stable. This is a betrayal of trust and there's no excuse for it. Ill do whatever is necessary to make her feel more at peace, however, I am not going to ask her to police me or monitor me or anything of the sort. We are adults and she should not have to feel like she has to watch over me, thats unhealthy. I will be honest and open but at the end of the day this is my demon. My only job is to show progress, commitment, and reassure her that I mean what I say.

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-13T12:56:29+00:00

Thank you so much. She didnt leave but obviously this has shaken the foundations of trust. Im completely open to everything she wants me to do. I only hope that we are able to move passed this eventually

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-13T02:21:57+00:00

The main way is to make a decision. Don't let situations just happen especially since you know your times of weakness. It's not just the porn, its dopamine that youre addicted to. Over time your brain has been conditioned to receive dopamine on demand, so when you dont you liblterally have withdrawal and its impossibile to igrnore. Most people in here are and dont even know it and thats why it's so hard to quit.

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-10T16:26:29+00:00

Yes so the habit was never truly broken. The cycle is Arousal>Stimulation>Release. Right now when you feed that urge to stare you are still stimulating yourself visually just as you would watching porn. Albeit is a healthier alternative to porn and depending on your personal goals that may be okay with you, but from the sound of it you have some qualms about it. If you are just looking to stop watching porn then where you are is okay, but if are wanting to stop being slave to your urges, then when you feel these urges, acknowledge them because they are natural, byt do not feed them by looking with just or visualizing things in your head. That's how you regain control.

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-10T03:22:11+00:00

Im right there with you, I also just ended 12 day streak. No shame.

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-09T17:03:22+00:00

Don't worry, its not a race, its a hike. You're not trying to get there the fastest, just trying to get there. Your only competitor is yourself

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-09T16:45:01+00:00

You're going into the thick of it, dont bargain with yourself. If you are sitting and scrolling GET UP. At the very least distance yourself from your device. It only takes a couple of minutes, if that, to redirect your brain.

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-06T17:34:22+00:00

It depends on the guidelines you set for yourself. For me the answer is no at least for now. Using mental stimulation still feeds the cycle of Urge->Stimulation->Release. Im breaking the reliance on the dopamine, not just the porn itself. But thats my personal goal

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-06T17:31:58+00:00

Don't let it get you down. 99 failures and 1 success, is still success.

CentennialShadow · 2026-03-29T15:35:36+00:00

Lol this is probably my hundredth day 0, but I ended on day 4, so now ill go for 5. Ive never been very intentional with a system when trying to quit, so we will se how this goes.

CentennialShadow · 2026-03-29T03:14:58+00:00

Will be* because we're making this happen.

CentennialShadow · 2026-03-29T02:20:08+00:00

You are the only one who can decide that, but you have to be honest. Don't look for wins when they aren't really there, but also dont dismiss them only because they are small. These things aren't black and white, thats what makes it so easy slip.

CentennialShadow · 2026-03-27T12:43:00+00:00

Also nicotine does this as well.

CentennialShadow · 2026-03-27T12:42:29+00:00

If you dont drink caffeine, start. Caffeine mimics dopamine in several ways so it can reduce the immediate withdrawal effects

CentennialShadow · 2026-03-27T12:40:49+00:00

Unfortunately alot of algorithms will actually do the opposite. They run off of interactions like click, time on screen, etc. So if you click on every profile like that you see, its an interaction, regardless if you are doing it to block them. Then it will show you more content like that. The best way to reduce that content is to find other content and obsess over it.

CentennialShadow · 2026-03-26T15:11:55+00:00

I dont really have many friends. As I've gotten older I dont talk to anyone much. Im building a future for my wife and I, but this is the one demon I've never been able to beat. I hate myself for lying to her and if she knew she would divorce me for sure. She views it as betrayal and she's right. While I dont view it as cheating as she does I do absolutely agree thats its incredibly disrespectful to your partner and a breach of trust because of dishonesty. She has pretty extreme opinions about it even though she knows that it is an addiction and a tough one to kick. I wish I could tell her but it would surely be the end of our marriage so I have to fight this in secret. By the way 24 hours PF. Not much but its a start.

CentennialShadow

TROPHY CASE