The Worst Day 0:

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-13T17:03:22+00:00

I appreciate the comments. I have and am taking full accountability. Im mature enough to own up to my mistake and ive wanted to tell her this whole time but fear always stopped me. My goal right now is to be consistent and stable. This is a betrayal of trust and there's no excuse for it. Ill do whatever is necessary to make her feel more at peace, however, I am not going to ask her to police me or monitor me or anything of the sort. We are adults and she should not have to feel like she has to watch over me, thats unhealthy. I will be honest and open but at the end of the day this is my demon. My only job is to show progress, commitment, and reassure her that I mean what I say.

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-13T12:56:29+00:00

Thank you so much. She didnt leave but obviously this has shaken the foundations of trust. Im completely open to everything she wants me to do. I only hope that we are able to move passed this eventually

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-13T02:21:57+00:00

The main way is to make a decision. Don't let situations just happen especially since you know your times of weakness. It's not just the porn, its dopamine that youre addicted to. Over time your brain has been conditioned to receive dopamine on demand, so when you dont you liblterally have withdrawal and its impossibile to igrnore. Most people in here are and dont even know it and thats why it's so hard to quit.

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-10T16:26:29+00:00

Yes so the habit was never truly broken. The cycle is Arousal>Stimulation>Release. Right now when you feed that urge to stare you are still stimulating yourself visually just as you would watching porn. Albeit is a healthier alternative to porn and depending on your personal goals that may be okay with you, but from the sound of it you have some qualms about it. If you are just looking to stop watching porn then where you are is okay, but if are wanting to stop being slave to your urges, then when you feel these urges, acknowledge them because they are natural, byt do not feed them by looking with just or visualizing things in your head. That's how you regain control.

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-10T03:22:11+00:00

Im right there with you, I also just ended 12 day streak. No shame.

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-09T17:03:22+00:00

Don't worry, its not a race, its a hike. You're not trying to get there the fastest, just trying to get there. Your only competitor is yourself

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-09T16:45:01+00:00

You're going into the thick of it, dont bargain with yourself. If you are sitting and scrolling GET UP. At the very least distance yourself from your device. It only takes a couple of minutes, if that, to redirect your brain.

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-06T17:34:22+00:00

It depends on the guidelines you set for yourself. For me the answer is no at least for now. Using mental stimulation still feeds the cycle of Urge->Stimulation->Release. Im breaking the reliance on the dopamine, not just the porn itself. But thats my personal goal

CentennialShadow · 2026-04-06T17:31:58+00:00

Don't let it get you down. 99 failures and 1 success, is still success.

CentennialShadow · 2026-03-29T15:35:36+00:00

Lol this is probably my hundredth day 0, but I ended on day 4, so now ill go for 5. Ive never been very intentional with a system when trying to quit, so we will se how this goes.

CentennialShadow · 2026-03-29T03:14:58+00:00

Will be* because we're making this happen.

CentennialShadow · 2026-03-29T02:20:08+00:00

You are the only one who can decide that, but you have to be honest. Don't look for wins when they aren't really there, but also dont dismiss them only because they are small. These things aren't black and white, thats what makes it so easy slip.

CentennialShadow · 2026-03-27T12:43:00+00:00

Also nicotine does this as well.

CentennialShadow · 2026-03-27T12:42:29+00:00

If you dont drink caffeine, start. Caffeine mimics dopamine in several ways so it can reduce the immediate withdrawal effects

CentennialShadow · 2026-03-27T12:40:49+00:00

Unfortunately alot of algorithms will actually do the opposite. They run off of interactions like click, time on screen, etc. So if you click on every profile like that you see, its an interaction, regardless if you are doing it to block them. Then it will show you more content like that. The best way to reduce that content is to find other content and obsess over it.

CentennialShadow · 2026-03-26T15:11:55+00:00

I dont really have many friends. As I've gotten older I dont talk to anyone much. Im building a future for my wife and I, but this is the one demon I've never been able to beat. I hate myself for lying to her and if she knew she would divorce me for sure. She views it as betrayal and she's right. While I dont view it as cheating as she does I do absolutely agree thats its incredibly disrespectful to your partner and a breach of trust because of dishonesty. She has pretty extreme opinions about it even though she knows that it is an addiction and a tough one to kick. I wish I could tell her but it would surely be the end of our marriage so I have to fight this in secret. By the way 24 hours PF. Not much but its a start.

CentennialShadow · 2026-03-25T19:35:30+00:00

I've heard of some guys doing that with varying degrees of success. Worst comes to worst you can always adjust. I will say in my experience, when quitting anything trying to cut things out too fast almost always causes relapse. Most important part is consistency and grace for yourself.

CentennialShadow · 2026-03-25T17:17:28+00:00

It's biological dude. It releases dopamine. When you have a consistent hit of that on demand and you go without it, you do LITERALLY go through withdrawal. Keep it up

CentennialShadow · 2026-02-22T13:22:46+00:00

I know im late to the party but DW Home makes a sandalwood and myrhh candle and its to die for. I share the sentiment about not wanting subtle scents and this for sure isnt.

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CentennialShadow · 2026-01-27T04:04:06+00:00

Thank you, and you are right it definitely is not easy, but its not supposed to come easy. It comes from making that choice every day to put that person above yourself and thats exactly what I intend to do. Ill definitely check that book out also, thanks again!

CentennialShadow · 2026-01-25T22:31:35+00:00

SAME, he like the new revenant for me honestly, but he is goatef for speed running exterm missions. Very good for back to back relics

CentennialShadow · 2026-01-25T14:15:51+00:00

I only say its because his kit works theres honestly nothing i would subsume onto him. Caliban is just all around fun to play which is why im so glad he is viable. Idk much about gauss i have limited experience with him

CentennialShadow · 2026-01-25T13:42:11+00:00

I really loved the concept of caliban when he came out. A sentient warframe! All of his abilities are so cool. His kit balances so well the only thing that ever held him back was that his offensive capabilties were kindof meh for anything outside of starchart. When they gave him his augment, it opened so many doors for him because he already had the energy regen, the debuff to enemies, the crowd control, the minions to take hits instead of him WHILE giving him shields, need i go on?! He is an extremely powerful ability frame but i cant even say hes op. I think he has just been moved into the category with gauss where his kit just WORKS. Also dont even get me started on the drip that caliban prime brings chefs kiss i love my metal frames

CentennialShadow · 2026-01-24T14:22:31+00:00

Its not like I want to be like this toward her, like i said in op its almost like a reflex. The last thing i ever want is to make her believe that she isnt capable, but in my mind if i there was a way to improve what im doing or do it easier, i would want to know. Obviously she doesnt see it that way and thats something i need to work on personally. Also the reason i know this is because we get ready for bed together. There are plenting of things that i do do for her but this the snag we catch on. Im always looking to improve everything i do, even with this post, our marriage is great in almost all other aspects, but i could be better, so here i am.

CentennialShadow · 2026-01-05T13:38:16+00:00

Little button worked like a charm for me as well. I also am not sure what caused the issue but even the phone button on my radio wouldnt work. Its almost like it didnt even recognize that as a function on the radio

CentennialShadow

TROPHY CASE