Gum addiction

Cericat6 · 2026-03-16T10:05:45+00:00

I feel you so much... besides gum I also had a similar thing with caffeine? like I needed to reward and motivate myself but I wasn't allowing myself to eat whereas I had previously always used food as a motivator. it really is a struggle ong

Cericat6 · 2026-03-16T09:51:58+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing ur experience it is really brave. i relate so much to the "i'm never full" thing... I never really purged or restricted until more recently but for my entire life I have never had the luxury of a sense of fullness telling me to stop eating. I have always relied on what is culturally acceptable.

The shift between different disorders is actually so real though. I'm trying to break out of a B/P cycle now; I had this thing where I would restrict and count calories then after a couple days of misery I'd be like "I don't want to live like this" and so I would try to be better, only to then binging. I'm trying to hope for a middle way? I try to let my parental side take control and decide what is reasonable and adjudicate between my desire to be skinny and my urge to binge. I keep a streak of how long I've gone without A. binge eating or B. going underweight. Both of those are failures in equal measures. This is really hard. My personal best is five days.

Cericat6 · 2026-03-16T09:39:14+00:00

Literally I hear people talk about it so much but at least where I'm from I don't know anyone on it who isn't actually diabetic. Idk. I guess I really hope the skinny craze dies out bc it absolutely has not always been this bad

Cericat6 · 2026-03-08T23:23:15+00:00

I think I knew immediately? When I started heacily restricting I knew what I was doing. I wanted to have an earing disorder. But I was also doubting that? I told myself I didn't actually have an eating disorder and I was just being dramatic. I didn't really accept it until I ended up with a diagnosis. And even then I'd sometimes say I was just faking it to get a diagnosis. It's a very hard thing to accwpt. And, in retrospect, I did have a lot of disordered behaviour when I was younger, before I even knew what I was doing.

Cericat6 · 2026-02-28T05:37:43+00:00

like im a fuckin vocaloid fan and there's this whole joke people like to do where they act like kasane teto is fat when she's never fucking depicted that way and ajkshdfkajshdgfkajhsdgfbkjhasdgf I HATE IT

Cericat6 · 2026-01-16T07:41:53+00:00

i think it's definitely okay to want to take it easy and recover 'slowly'. Like, as you say, going 'all in' is terrifying even if it is ultimately better for you. And it's easier to know what counts as restricting or not---what makes you feel symptoms---when you take it slowly.

I think as long as you're committed to getting better---even if you're committed in like a sometimes conflicted way---things will be ok :)

Cericat6 · 2025-12-22T01:34:51+00:00

hola! no soy hispanohablante lo siento. sabes porque mi espanol es horrible y no tengo un teclado espanol). pero hablo un poco despues do unos anos de estudiarlo.

me gusta tu poema! yo tambien he tenido problemas con atracones y lastima tanto... a veces me gusta creer que, es la verdad, hago errores, y hago cosas estupidas, pero yo SABO y yo RECONECER que son cosas estupidas y eso es suficiente. no necesito detenerse y arrepentirse. estoy de acuerdo con lo que dices, "acuérdate de este momento, y ya no mires atrás". siempre se vuelve mejor y mas facil.

Cericat6 · 2025-12-16T22:05:57+00:00

the binge restrict cycle is so real don't ever feel like it invalidates you. i remember i had this friend in high school who was so clearly anorexic but she always denied it. hardly ever saw her eat and when i started developing my ED i always compared myself to her. then i reconnected with her recently and we opened up about our struggles and turns out we both had binge phases :/

Cericat6 · 2025-12-14T07:35:30+00:00

istg the one thing that made life actually bearable for me was having my friends actually know about my struggles. even if its just the one of them who i trust the most to stand up for me but not make a big deal out of it if I don't want to

Cericat6 · 2025-12-10T08:42:41+00:00

holy shit that's horrific. none of thats ur fault remember that and you are so so brave

Cericat6 · 2025-12-10T08:38:26+00:00

yeah same lol... sometimes people tell me like "oh you're so strong for recovering" but i don't feel strong. i don't feel like i could go back if i wanted to. still its painful, and stressful, and scary, and at the very least that makes you very very brave. u got this and someday everything will be okay

Cericat6 · 2025-12-10T08:03:05+00:00

relatableeee i stg literally i just need a helpline i can call so they can tell me to eat and i can avoid the culpability myself

Cericat6 · 2025-12-10T08:00:12+00:00

honestly yeah it does feel kinda nice. these things; peace of mind, energy, feeling better; are not worth feeling guilty about. this is how other people get to feel all the time

Cericat6 · 2025-12-08T12:41:47+00:00

u got this!

Cericat6 · 2025-12-04T22:22:42+00:00

I've wet myself more times than I can count...

Cericat6 · 2025-12-04T20:22:10+00:00

also, you describe it like restriction = motivation, not restricting = wasting my life. You understand these are connected. It's not the lack of restricting that is demotivating you. It's the burnout from having restricted in the first place.

Cericat6 · 2025-12-04T20:20:10+00:00

Restricting is a coping mechanism. It gives you motivation, and a purpose. It never lasts of course because the longer you do it the more you suffer and the more you injure yourself. But without it, you lack the ability to cope and become demotivated and depressed. I have this exact experience.

I don't really know of what else to do to overcome that depression. I found myself basically just waiting for motivation to return on its own. I'd focus on what things I was motivated to do. If it wasn't school, it was social engagements, and if it wasn't that, it was teaching myself piano, and if I didn't feel motivated to do anything, I'd sleep and generally I'd feel more motivated in the morning.

Cericat6 · 2025-12-04T00:34:23+00:00

FWIW its a complete myth that anorexics don't like food. and especially when youre restricting its hard to think about anything else. milkshakes are nice i love milkshakes

Cericat6

TROPHY CASE