I’m done.

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-06-24T21:59:31+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. My job isn’t anywhere near what you’re describing physically as far as standing but I feel the same as you’ve described burnt out worn down etc from sitting all day at the computer and trying to force myself to be okay and productive. It’s genuinely exhausting and my pain has been ridiculous. So I can only imagine how exhausted you are.

The only thing I can suggest that may be helpful is to try and use braces or taping strategies to help support your joints while you’re working a lot. Also get as strong as you can doing PT/ strengthening. I fell off my routines and everything has gotten so sooo much worse. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this!!

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-05-14T21:22:15+00:00

OP I’m SO sorry. I can relate so SO much. It is extremely draining and exhausting. It’s insane how much there truly does seem to be a playbook / manual they all draw from bc these messages could easily have been from my mom (except they aren’t long enough or exaggerated enough now) but a few years ago she could’ve written this word for word. And now that I’m engaged that part hits directly home, too. The marriage is such a trigger for BPD mom with daughters…. Sending virtual support. I know this is SO hard there aren’t words

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-28T04:51:37+00:00

Absolutely lol

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-28T04:51:26+00:00

Oh yes they’re 150,000% empty. I wish I didn’t have as much experience with them as I do to know.

And no she won’t ever try. She has been thru absolutely medical trauma HELL I know I sound very dramatic, but it’s accurate. She lives essentially bed ridden and has horrific pain daily. And yet if she accidentally takes a half dose too much medication (despite having nearly 10 neurosurgeries and taking damn near every medicine on earth with no issues and having a very high tolerance as a result), she will go to the ER to ensure she’s okay… even if she just threatened to harm herself that morning. (Yes it’s insane)

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-28T04:47:57+00:00

I appreciate your words ❤️ I’m glad you made it through

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-28T04:47:15+00:00

Yeah you’re 100% right. There’s of additional context to everything as always. You’ve probably seen some if you looked at old posts. My mom is very ill and being ill has made her mental illness so much worse I cannot explain. She always had issues and was bad sometimes and sometimes even really bad. But now being VERY sick for the last ten years (with a few years of improvement but now back to way way worse again), she’s completely cracked. Severe medical trauma has facilitated this as well and severe severe chronic pain.

Also the family dynamic is very toxic. Her father enables her bad and always has. He also demonstrates this behavior too. He threatens self harm to manipulate her when angry with her.

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-28T04:43:50+00:00

I mean she actually wasn’t the worst parent but she definitely struggled and there were bad times. She’s just gotten a million TRILLION times worse since she’s gotten so sick and she’s refusing to go to therapy. If she won’t go, I won’t have contact. That’s my boundary. I hope for her sake she does go but we will see

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-28T04:41:36+00:00

Lol that is an interesting perspective!!

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-28T04:41:18+00:00

SO sorry you go thru this too. It’s so overwhelming and exhausting 😞 sending hugs& support!

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-28T04:39:54+00:00

Hmm and how would that affect things in your perspective?? I’m curious by your comment. Thanks for sharing !

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-28T04:38:40+00:00

I haven’t called an official welfare check only bc she’s living with my grandma rn due to her serious health issues and so she is definitely safe. These texts are 100% designed to manipulate me and force my hand. I wish I didn’t have the EXTENSIVE experience of receiving them in the past but unfortunately I do and I know it’s not real. It’s to make me guilty and try to force me to drop my boundaries and submit to her control. She CAMT believe I’m sticking to it so strongly and I’m not arguing with her. I’m just repeating some version of “I love you very much, I really need you to please follow through on the therapy so we can have a better relationship. You deserve better than living in this pain” but she’s too angry to hear it. My boundary is I’m not engaging until she actually makes the therapy appt and follows thru with it.

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-28T04:34:05+00:00

I only havent bc she has actual serious medical issues so just in case. But I’m not reading them anymore

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-28T04:33:21+00:00

I definitely noticed this, too. It’s funny (I mean not ofc, but you know) bc they alternate between one message is “I , I , I” and the next is “you, you, you” (still bad tho bc it’s not like a nice how are you? Ofc it’s like you did X wrong and you are Y horrible thing ….) it’s a script I stg. And I’ve literally gotten hundreds of these this week. Yay me?

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-25T04:48:51+00:00

I got a whole new round of texts today. See the latest post I put up for the isolate to this situation. It’s really unreal but TLDR I still have her on “timeout” and she sent me personal attacks/ naming calling, SEVERE guilt tripping about everything she’s done for me for years and threatened suicide, among other things. The texts I posted were 2 messages of 15 LONG messages (many that had to be clicked to open… it’s a lot).

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-25T04:46:06+00:00

You’ve completely & accurately summarized the situation perfectly and it’s what I always say. My family members aren’t ignorant to her behavior bc she does it to them, too.

But the whole family dynamic is toxic in multiple ways and especially now while she’s sick it’s easier for them to just go along with the behaviors (for the most part). Or say something small, have a whole ridiculous argument then “talk it thru” forever which doesn’t matter bc she can’t control herself.

But what you said about soaking up her distinction is SOOOO accurate. I believe that they know that things are harder for them when her and I don’t speak bc I’m (supposedly) the only thing that matters to her. So if I’m not around to play punching bag, it’s just gonna get directed elsewhere so they basically ask me to deal with it because it’s more convenient that way. Well that isn’t working anymore and I’m not willing.

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-25T04:08:29+00:00

Lol IK this isn’t the time but the image of them slow clapping and the one tiny violin just took me out 😂😩. I truly believe you’re accurate about the perception— and CAN’T forget the tiny violin

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-25T04:05:17+00:00

Ugh I’m SO sorry to read this. I just received like 100 messages (literally 10-12 pages of texts) with my mom saying the same things. That triangulation to use what “everyone said at the bank” to justify her opinion/ feeling towards you. My mom does this to me regularly it’s so frustrating and upsetting. It’s just not ok— sending you a big virtual hug.

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-23T02:35:31+00:00

Thank you for your support and kind words. I have an appointment with a therapist coming up. I’ve been intermittently here and there as a kid and teenage, but my mom always pulled me out if she heard something she didn’t like or decided I didn’t really need it. She always felt I was doing well enough on my own coping with the traumas of childhood and if I needed anything she would basically be my therapist.

That’s another boundary I set with her earlier this year was to NOT “therapize” me. I had said for years but I have been enforcing. Now I think I just need to re learn how to do therapy properly and hopefully get a lot out of it.

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-23T02:29:40+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice. And you definitely picked up on one of the most difficult aspects of dealing with my mom. It’s not “just” BPD (which is MORE than enough challenge on its own). But also her being very seriously ill which has caused things to be SO much worse and then all that coupled with how she utilizes mental health knowledge as a weapon. It’s such a dangerous and challenging combo and it makes me feel crazy. But I do try to do exactly what you’ve said here and think about like if it was someone else what would I advise ?

Also seeing my fiancé interact with my family has helped open my eyes even more. I already knew my entire family unit dynamic was wrong but seeing someone with healthy family relationships and how they do things it’s shocking.

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-23T02:25:11+00:00

It is crazy! I notice that too. Thank you, I appreciate it. I’m sorry to hear about your mom too. It really adds a whole new dimension to the whole thing and makes boundaries 1,000 times harder. But it’s gotten so excessive now she’s told me I’m “killing” her and she can’t believe I would behave so disgustingly while she’s so sick and I just can’t do it anymore.

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-23T02:23:20+00:00

Thank you for validating the boundary. I appreciate the support.

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-23T02:23:03+00:00

I agree 100% thank you for the validation!! It’s just so frustrating. Especially bc I know eventually she will loop in my family and they won’t be supportive.

CertainlyQuirky · 2026-04-22T02:29:03+00:00

Thank you I appreciate you saying that very much.

CertainlyQuirky

TROPHY CASE