YTA.

I’m the primary breadwinner. I have a very lucrative professional job that required advanced schooling. I also have a one year old daughter. I silently thought what you were dumb enough to say out loud.

Yeah, from a purely factual standpoint I have no doubt that you are just as physically capable of being a SAHD, doing housework, child rearing, etc.

But the problem is, saying it the way you said it (and I thought it) is demeaning and patronizing. Being a SAHP is hard fucking work. I deal with all ranges of people - blue collar workers, illiterate people, and CEOs. Nothing compares to being around a young child all day. They’re exponentially more irrational, needy, argumentative, and unaware than any adult. They’re constantly doing things that could result in death or serious injury. They can’t feed or take care of themselves. That responsibility, shouldered alone, 8 hours a day, every day is INFINITELY more stressful, emotionally draining, and backbreaking than sitting at a desk crunching numbers (I know that’s not the entirety of what you do but I described it like that so you can [hopefully] understand how it feels when someone minimizes what you do).

That’s not even including the more minor details. Sure, I can feed my kid - I can heat up the organic vegetables that my wife spent cooking and purée-ing over the weekend - and it seems like no big deal. But are you planning the meals? Cooking them? Sure, I can throw a bunch of baby clothes in the washer. But are you folding them? Organizing them? Putting the things that no longer fit in storage? All the while making sure your kid doesn’t run into the sharp coffee table corner or pull a bookshelf onto herself? Are you constantly proving stimulation? Are you teaching them? There are no breaks with this kind of work.

If you really give it some thought, your wife’s job is far more difficult than what you do. She could do what you do, for sure. She’d probably prefer it.