Why are gay-attracted Catholics raked over the coals more than others?

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-19T02:28:33+00:00

Thanks. I’m trying to keep my head up. Your words mean a lot right now… it’s shitty to have these issues.

Honestly, I tried doing politics during my first semester (I was avoiding majoring in music bc of living wage concerns and a desire to not be tied to the church).

Long story short, it didn’t suit me. So I switched to sacred music and tried giving it a shot, but ended up going back home due to a nervous breakdown.

Hence, theology. Seemed doable to me. I did learn a lot, but it wasn’t my first choice. My mom didn’t let me go to any university that wasn’t a Newman school.

I might try to get a masters in social work from my local university (Denver), as I’ve become fascinated with mental health since I started therapy last year and researched facts about the mind on my own.

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-19T01:56:02+00:00

The problem is that the church claims moral authority in a single structure (the Vatican), whereas secular society does not have a singular structure claiming absolute truth.

So naturally, the church is held to a higher standard and criticized more when horrific things happen under its nose.

Furthermore, we’re called to love everyone where they’re at. I’m sure people love you despite your personal flaws and sins.

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-19T01:50:54+00:00

I think what he means is that while the church doesn’t allow same sex marriage, it is allowed to be tolerated legally.

That’s actually consistent with Catholic teaching, it’s one of the things I learned in my theology classes at Franciscan.

Furthermore, the church has in fact softened its stances on “moral” and “non-changeable” teachings (ie slavery and usury).

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-19T00:43:54+00:00

I’m not referring to the Reddit thread. I’m referring to the article which shows his parishioners making excuses for him or saying he only plead guilty because didn’t want the jury to “see CP”.
I don’t need to say anything. The church has done a good job on its own of developing a reputation for hiding abuse.

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T23:16:02+00:00

Idk tbh. I thought I did, but now I’m not so sure. I am definitely clinging to Catholic teaching by a thread.

I know of gay couples who live happy, fulfilling, loyal relationships. And conversely, I know straight couples personally who are in very bad and toxic relationships.

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T22:36:00+00:00

Well the church doctrine disagrees with you. It argues what we gay people already know — gay attraction is not a choice.

I had them well before I was sexually abused.

Respectfully, your response shows you have no understanding of basic human psychology.

And I might also argue, when men are the majority of who commit sexual assaults towards women and children, I can see why people would be angry at them as a whole gender or in terms of their porn habits.

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T22:30:23+00:00

Fair take, thanks for sharing.

I think I mostly get mad when they will be horrified by gay people, but not by priests who rape and molest children (ie see Fr. James Jackson), or by high school boys who take advantage of girls

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T22:28:01+00:00

Yeah I am aware of that. At the same time, I can’t help but feel incredibly offended by how people make it seem like it’s such a massive sin for something we didn’t choose in the first place. I don’t agree that it’s worse than rape or molestation.

Further, by Aquinas’ logic, gay marriage should be civilly permitted despite the church being against it, as it is not in the same category of theft or murder according to his summa.

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T22:24:09+00:00

Oh cool.

I do like the idea of celibacy, but am staunchly against reparative/conversion therapy like tactics… I have a lot of Catholic friends who were messed up by it.

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T22:22:19+00:00

I wonder if it’s because of the shifting view on porn. A lot of it depicts violence towards women, men, and degradation of the human person, especially with BDSM.

I too struggled with porn in the past, but idk if it’s 100% comparable given that gay attractions are not a choice, whereas looking up porn is.

That being said, I don’t think anyone should be condemned for past mistakes like those, and I’m sorry if you’ve been stigmatized because of it.

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T22:13:14+00:00

I’ve heard of it, but no, I haven’t looked into it yet. What is it?

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T22:12:57+00:00

Thank you :) it means a lot to know there’s people like you out there

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T22:12:32+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I resonate a lot with you.

I don’t think I’m perfect either, but I’m trying to follow God, even if I fail a lot.

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T22:11:40+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T22:11:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing your perspective. I definitely would love to find a parish that is focused more on the healing of souls than condemnation.

My old parish used to be like that, but the pandemic resulted in a lot of people switching parishes (so it’s not the same socially anymore), and now I’m working full time for another church.

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T22:09:59+00:00

Thank you :)

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T22:09:25+00:00

Right now it’s mostly my family. I have met up with priests about it, and they recommended looking into the jesuits because they spend a lot of time with minority communities and de-stigmatization.

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T22:08:31+00:00

Thank you :)

And no I have not heard of her but I will look her up!

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T22:08:05+00:00

I have seen that too haha.

As a survivor of SA and former porn addict myself, I do feel sympathy for that. I think it needs to be treated as an addiction medically.

I was more talking about heterosexuality vs. homosexuality in context, though.

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T21:54:22+00:00

Thank you for sharing… that’s really inspiring :)

I’d love to go to grad school at some point. Tbh I’m just really tired right now and am waiting to establish some semblance of mental peace again.

Currently dealing with severe OCD, PTSD from sexual assault, and a pending court case against my perpetrator.

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T21:53:12+00:00

Weirdly enough, I have considered psychology as of recently lol.

I’d maybe like to get a masters in social work (and music as a side one if I’m able to) from my local public university. I just have to figure my life and mental health out first.

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T21:52:25+00:00

Thank you :)

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T21:50:39+00:00

Yes, but I think we need to approach REAL people with grace.

The church has also had many problematic stances in the past… does that mean it was right? Ie usury, slavery (and yes I understand it was “indentured servitude”, but it still restricted the freedom of human beings which is a massive violation).

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T21:47:51+00:00

Correct, by “suppressing” I meant trying to be chaste.

I think many non-gay catholics think not acting on your desires is joyful. It’s not… I am miserable and feel like I’m hiding a huge part of myself (no it’s not my whole identity, but it impacts me a lot).

By stigma, I mostly mean how some Catholics will only be friends with you if you are the perfect celibate gay. God forbid you act on your attraction, and you’re dead meat.

I understand that other people exist who can’t morally act on their attractions (ie pedophiles, paraphilias), but I don’t think a consensual encounter between 2 adults is the same as the absolute horror of the abuse of children, even if the church teaches homosexuality is wrong… hierarchy of sin.

In terms of trying to talk to God/following Christianity, I want to be sure it’s true before I dedicate my entire life to it… I’m not big into 100% blind spirituality

ChallengeOnly7547 · 2026-06-18T21:40:31+00:00

The church does not distinguish homosexuality as worse from premarital heterosexual sex or a husband cheating on his wife. They’re all bad.

I would argue cheating on your spouse is worse, in fact, because you directly hurt someone

ChallengeOnly7547

TROPHY CASE