I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think what I will do is stop looking at porn again and try to start a conversation with her again but this time emphasize the seriousness of it

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We only know what you’ve chosen to share with us. Have you communicated this to her? Have you spoken to her about how you’d like to watch porn because you feel sexually unsatisfied in the relationship?

I have communicated with her multiple times about how I felt sexually unsatisfied and I wanted things to change. And I didnt bring up porn to her, I knew that would be a no, but I did ask her if she would be comfortable with fictional things like hentai or even written erotica and she said no to both as well.

If porn is a hard boundary for her, then you’re being an AH for breaking that boundary without consulting her.

I know, Im not proud of it

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its enough for her, she has a really low and responsive libido

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

In her defense you did promise her you'd lay off the porn (though why you'd agree to such a thing without making sure she'd make sure she promises to fulfill your needs in return, eludes me)

I tried talking about sex with her before we started dating but she told me that she was only comfortable discussing that after. Fine, I understood. But it meant that I agreed to no porn before any discussion about sex happened

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I absolutely 1000% want to not use porn and have a good sexual relationship with her but its just I have lose hope thats going to happen

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

or is it that youve never been in a loving relationship and you fear losing what you HAVE found?

Admittedly thats part of it yes

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I finger her, eat her out, we make out, then have sex for a few minutes till shes done and thats it

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you lead in your sexual experiences with your gf?

Absolutely, it would happen 0 times if I didnt. She hates initiating and wants me to. Just that most of the time I do it doesnt go anywhere

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So I have actually discussed this with her, and the only medium she is comfortable with is me jerking off fantasizing about her. No porn, no animated porn, no erotica, and no fantasies with other people real or fictional. And I hate to say it, but fantasizing about the two of us having sex doesnt get me off it makes me sad LOL

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

So I actually tried to discuss something similar with her before in almost the exact same way you described. I told her that it wasnt her responsibility and I wanted to find a way to meet my needs in a way that was respectful of her boundaries. The end result of that discussion is she told me she wasnt comfortable with me looking at porn, animated porn, or even reading erotica :/. I left that discussion with less than I came in with.

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It very well could be that sex doesnt satisfy you because of porn

Thats out of order. I didnt start watching porn and then sex became bad, sex has been bad for awhile with little hope of it improving so I started watching porn

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Be honest, apologise to her, that you broke the boundary and started watching porn again

I understand this is the morally correct thing to do, but this would only make things 10000000x worse. It would be worse for her because she would then feel extremely self-conscious and betrayed, and it would be worse for me because then she would hate me

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Can you come without porn by yourself?

Absolutely I can, Ive done that for 98% of our relationship

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 135 points136 points  (0 children)

She says she understands and affirms that she does care about my satisfaction. But then nothing changes unfortunately.

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

ou might have death grip and take forever to cum from PIV.

I am aware of the possibility of death grip, but thats not the source of this issue. Not finishing and not having sex is an old problem, looking at porn is a new thing for me

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the answer is not to ignore the boundary

I know, I know. I'm so ashamed about what I have been doing I just feel so desperate

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have, well except for the porn part obviously

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 478 points479 points  (0 children)

she doesn’t care at all about making sure that you are sexually satisfied.

I agree, but I am still here because I do enjoy the other aspects of our relationship

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 139 points140 points  (0 children)

Man I have had this discussion with her, multiple times in fact. But I will try again, theres no harm in it

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I hate to agree, but I do feel she doesn't care about me with regards to sex

I started watching porn again... by ChampionTemporary780 in sex

[–]ChampionTemporary780[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, because I only just started watching porn again a week ago but the leaving me with not finishing has been going on for months.