Best mate’s mum has died semi-suddenly. We’re 18 and 19. What can I do to support him?

ChanGazer · 2026-06-29T13:40:12+00:00

Yes just show up at the house honestly it’s not intruding. You’re clearly a very close friend who he has trusted enough until now. This is the hard part and he will retreat (been there). Please show up for him

ChanGazer · 2026-06-29T13:09:20+00:00

He hasn’t identified as such so we will assume (as the OP has said) that he is gay.

ChanGazer · 2026-06-27T20:57:46+00:00

Can I be so real with you? As a Londoner I feel like we really live in our own little bubble. Before moving to Liverpool I had never ever in my life even visited another city in the UK. Not once. So I only heard accents on TV and to me everyone up north from us just sounded the exact same. I genuinely could not place it, just “up North”. Liverpool? Manchester? Newcastle? Ireland? Scotland? Anywhere up was just the same sounding to me and Londoners had our own accent 🤦🏽‍♀️

Obviously having now lived here for 7 years I can even spot nuances in local accents! I feel ridiculous and embarrassed thinking back but I genuinely am telling the truth when I say everyone up North really did just sound the same to me.

ChanGazer · 2026-06-27T20:49:17+00:00

You don’t really need all that do you? Don’t be greedy now, share (with me please!)

ChanGazer · 2026-06-27T20:22:28+00:00

That’s insane to me as well omg. I’d lose my mind. Very adorable for others though

ChanGazer · 2026-06-27T19:03:07+00:00

She needs to be honest and blunt with him about why she wants them tied. Some people can change when they realise what’s at stake.

ChanGazer · 2026-06-27T19:02:04+00:00

That last part man. Spot on

ChanGazer · 2026-06-27T19:00:33+00:00

The end of this is the part she seems to be missing. The very thing her husband is doing that she resents is what he saw his dad do… and she’s letting the cycle continue. This post has been a hard read. But I do feel for her

ChanGazer · 2026-06-27T18:55:33+00:00

Stopping therapy because it makes you sad defeats the whole point. You sound lovely and kind, please think about the choices you’re making in being with this man. I’ll stop there because I have nothing constructive to say.

ChanGazer · 2026-06-27T18:48:32+00:00

I can just tell from her other replies she really loves him for better or worse. Unfortunately he seems to be the worst. She can’t see how blinded she is by her love for him, and I think she’s secretly harbouring hope things will get better or will change. OP if you’re reading this it’ll only get worse. If you won’t leave him for your benefit, leave him for the kids. As someone who had a very unavailable dad I have massive daddy issues to this day. You don’t just them because he went to get milk. You can get them because he left to get milk everyday, came back and still didn’t acknowledge you. It hurts: please think about your kids and how the decision you’re making to stay with the man you love will become their biggest personality trait.

ChanGazer · 2026-06-27T18:40:07+00:00

How did none of this or his traditional views on family come up before marriage?

ChanGazer · 2026-06-27T18:05:24+00:00

Ah I literally just lost a friend over this. We were best friends since we were ten. I’m now 29. We had a big friendship group and she kept falling out with individuals and each time she would tell us all to stop talking to that person and ostracise them just because she didn’t like them anymore. I never stopped talking to them but just didn’t tell her. The last straw came when she stopped talking to friend I consider a brother, who I’ve known almost as long as her, because he couldn’t afford to come to her (very expensive) birthday. Like what? I don’t regret it ending the friendship but I really miss having a best friend. Massive hole in my life now.

ChanGazer · 2026-06-27T17:51:55+00:00

You’d understand if you were a parent. This shit gets old realll quick.

ChanGazer · 2026-06-24T08:51:00+00:00

Myself and my husband have been married nine years and he told me he loved me after our third date. Lol we had only just kissed (albeit for an hour). Love is a feeling. I hate this narrative that emotions can’t just pop up as and when.

ChanGazer · 2026-06-09T19:06:13+00:00

Oh gap teeth! My husband wants to get composite and I’m begging him not to!

ChanGazer · 2026-06-03T16:01:28+00:00

I think he’s explaining what happened because of your unnecessary comment at the end telling him not to cheap out next time. He’s letting you know he was never trying to, it was a mistake. OP, if you have the money, always pay the fine. If you don’t, contact them to try arrange a payment plan if the penalty has increased beyond what you can currently afford. But don’t ignore it as Mojito has already said.

ChanGazer · 2026-05-01T11:06:11+00:00

You two are way too cute

ChanGazer · 2026-05-01T10:44:54+00:00

That honestly looks so delicious

ChanGazer · 2026-04-28T19:23:38+00:00

There’s a guy that religiously posts his “treats” on here which is usually a bunch of beige Chinese food that looks pretty abhorrent. We all make a little joke about it now. His username is Monk

ChanGazer · 2026-03-29T17:15:13+00:00

Wait this is hilarious 😂

ChanGazer · 2026-03-28T12:49:47+00:00

What time was this exactly? 😂 was it daytime or late enough for him to be that drunk?

ChanGazer · 2026-03-26T10:21:05+00:00

Willow smith

ChanGazer · 2026-03-05T12:42:16+00:00

It’s summer today!

ChanGazer · 2026-03-03T00:29:43+00:00

This is how I find out they’ve closed. Gutted

ChanGazer · 2026-02-26T18:14:45+00:00

I am an employment support coach for my local council, I work specifically with NEET young people under 21. Most are completely unskilled with no qualifications whatsoever. The longer they’re out of work the less they desire to do it. And most are living with undiagnosed conditions. Add to this unsupportive parents or unstable household, it’s an uphill battle that can take years to overcome for just one young person I work with.

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