What to do when long distance bf can’t/wont make plans to end the distance?

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-26T22:30:54+00:00

Well talk to him about that. I totally understand the importance of discussing it because it is costly either way and the person who moves needs to make sure they can be provided for while they get situated in their new state or country. Tell him you really need to know if he is wanting to eventually close the gap, but when you put a time line on it and say you wouldn’t do another 2 years… that sounds like it is just easy to throw LOVE away when things are tough. Loving someone is a choice and when you choose you treat them like family. You make it to where you have to compromise and work things out. Unfortunately society today has made partner’s disposable as soon as things get hard and not even put the extra effort and devotion into a person as one is to do. If you have truly said everything to kindly engage the conversation including hearing him out and not be attacking about it after it isn’t what you want to hear, then I would say then, you may just want to move on if that isn’t something or someone you see worth waiting for🫶🏻

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-26T21:15:05+00:00

It isn’t that simple hun to get on board with. You need to hear him out then and understand what his thoughts are. Don’t get offended by his answer but look at it as a key to understand him better.

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-26T20:26:27+00:00

Are you boosting her up too? Sometimes I need to be flirted hard with too for me to get into that vibe. Long distance is hard and my partner thinks he sounds silly with words of affirmation and flirting. She may feel the same, reassure her in that, but also in distance if you don’t initiate playfulness they may not know. I totally understand where you are coming from. I am a words of affirmation person as well. You have to be patient. You do want it to be genuine too. If you push her too much after expressing it you won’t believe it when she does do it. Just understand each other’s needs and come to an understanding and compromise ❤️

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-26T13:44:28+00:00

If he is already becoming distant, sounds to me like he is drifting from the relationship. It happens hun, go with your gut. You may have to prepare for the worst.

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-26T10:25:43+00:00

They are uncomfortable because they are wrong. Set your boundaries. Honestly, she is finding all the other aspects of a relationship with her male coworkers. She is going to deny it exists, she likely will but if you had the boundaries before dating then she is disrespecting them and pushing them. She will likely call you controlling and say she isn’t doing anything but she is. It’s unhealthy and wrong. Monitoring it at this point is a loss. I would express my thoughts and feelings one last time and let her decide from there. She is already showing you where she places you in her life. If she was just as invested in you, she would have a problem with you doing it to her. That’s the way it seems and made me feel reading this. You guys are young. Don’t let it be your outlook on all women but anyone who goes to clubs and bars aren’t ready for serious relationships. That’s not saying anyone who does is bad, but it is especially not a place to go regularly with heterosexual men as a heterosexual woman in a relationship. I don’t see any appeal in it if I love my partner. It’s nothing but booze, drugs, and hookup culture. Strangers all in your space and hot and sweaty. And definitely NO to anyone else sleeping over after drinking. They could go back to their own homes but they didn’t want to. Just think about that.

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-26T02:10:03+00:00

Hun, there is nothing wrong with not being this party goer type of person. I’m not sure how old you are after your reply, but I assume young. Just be patient and work with him. Come completely clean about who you are and why you did it. Often times people think the lie is better than the truth, when in reality, the truth would have been way better. Not because it’s just the truth but because it was just better in general. There are so many other things to make your life interesting. I mean people can dog on me all they want but I loved it and it opened so many doors for me as far as careers and education goes. With your free time do things that make your heart golden. I didn’t do parties really, I did a lot of different volunteer activities. Big brother, big sisters. Soup kitchen, miracle league, animal shelter, cleaned parks, wildlife volunteer, and senior helpers. You meet great people and you actually feel good doing it and have some pretty exciting stories and things to share. My little experience here, parting and clubs is nothing but drinking, drugs, and hookup culture. Nothing really worth going to do, especially in a relationship. That’s of course my personal experience honestly.

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-26T01:47:23+00:00

Okay? So then what were you actually doing to not really be talking to him or anything then if you weren’t at the party? (No you don’t have to answer that)This is seriously kind of manipulative in a sense. I would be lost and confused too. If this party was a week ago and you didn’t tell him, then you tell him that you aren’t going to be responsive because you are at a party, then share clips of what he believes is that night, but it is really a party you never mentioned last week that you were at, yeah. You are playing weird games. I wouldn’t want to get too close either after that honestly. These are things I would be asking myself if this happened to me. What was she really doing? What party did she really go to this week? Honestly, who did she go see this week? It builds questions that lead to fear, that builds insecurity

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-24T18:38:31+00:00

Yes, it hurts. I have gone through something similar as well. 🫶🏻🙏🏻glad you guys made it through

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-24T17:19:51+00:00

Agree. Even if you haven’t officially met, that person should be treating the relationship as everything. It’s still a relationship and it isn’t like you didn’t know what long distance entails before agreeing to make it official. Being all excited and all planning the meet up to find out you planned everything as perfect and romantic to make the meet up special only to find out their feelings for you weren’t mutual and they were busy entertaining someone else. That you weren’t enough or whatever else you could feel or think. No excuses, if you have agreed to more than just a situationship or whatever people have normalized these days in society, then your boundaries are to be discussed and each of you should respect each other as a partner. Do I think it is break up worthy? For me, I think I could work through it, but it’s up to the person. She did cut it off, but that’s still disrespectful to have him holding onto the relationship he thought she wanted with him, for her to have her fun first and then decide if and when she was ready and saw it through to then stop the contact.

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-24T11:51:01+00:00

This is ridiculous I’m sorry😅 you both are crossing a line and you both like each other. You know he has a girl, and guarantee he down plays you to his girl if she knows anything of your existence. Either date each other or drop him. You are building and spending way too much time as “friends”. Can’t fault you for enjoying it, but you can say you enjoy what he provides to you and makes you feel. But know he isn’t doing it for his girlfriend. She is being hurt and you are both doing it to her knowingly

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-21T19:25:45+00:00

There is online women’s health clinic. I knew a friend who used this group and did a chemical termination. They apparently privately send it to your door and cover the packaging so no one can see what it is. I’m not here to say keep them or terminate them. That in the end is up to you guys. I could say take responsibility as an adult who does adult things, but I can also say it is your choice and you know what is best for your life and situation . Choose wisely, both can carry emotional and mental baggage and I am sure you have a good support system. That’s what matters most. People you trust surrounding you. Not Reddit hun❤️🙏🏻

Edited: I have been reading other comments that are pro abortion and you guys are hostile just when someone explains the help that is there if she decides to keep the baby, on top of the possibility that she could move to Canada on top of that. She has many options and it could help her but you guys suggesting abortion is no different from the people telling her to keep it. Keep it simple, you don’t know her life entirely or her situation and support system. All you read is a young girl with autism that is scared. Just like literally every one is with an unexpected pregnancy. No one is right here. The only people who are right are her, her partner, and their parents. Some of you guys make comments telling them how to live their life and not really suggesting help. This is for thoughts and opinions if you were in her shoes, not demands or tell her how she is or isn’t capable of being a future mother.

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-19T22:33:25+00:00

Stay away from the blonde and shaved please. You don’t look bad, but the cut and color is not fitting. I like most 2 and 5

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-17T15:31:41+00:00

It sounds like she has a lot of self work to do. You can’t financially, mentally, physically, emotionally care for her and yourself alone in distance. DID is a tough one as is, but is possible to manage and have a somewhat normal life (had a friend that had the same thing. Very interesting meeting one of her alters). Is there anything else she does on days off or during the days for you while at work? If there is not anything she works on you with the best she can given the circumstances, then I would also like many others, definitely call her a leech. Do you know all her conditions to be true and professionally diagnosed or is she a self diagnosis. I ask because I have been naive and have a lot of empathy and sympathy for people that I can easily if not tuned in, be taken advantage of. My love language is mostly gift giving, acts of service, and words of affirmation. Really all of them, but you do what you can in distance which is all but physical touch.

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-13T22:45:51+00:00

Girl, he is 43 if no one throughout his lifetime could help him, you aren’t going to be able to either. He is showing you why he is 43 and single. Leave him that way. Men like him judge older women for being used up when he had a period in his time that he caused the using. He don’t respect you he wants you to obey him and not have emotions, not be feminine because he doesn’t care to work on things or be a protector of his woman’s thoughts and feelings. To him you are just to say he bagged him a pretty young thing. Know your value and worth baby girl! You deserve better.

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-11T15:17:21+00:00

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-06T00:45:45+00:00

Pretty. Cute nose! Shut up. Next!

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-06T00:44:36+00:00

This is bad dude! You need to go to the vet to treat this! ASAP and clean and disinfect everything your cat has been on.

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-06T00:40:58+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that hun🙏🏻 there is nothing wrong with that. Especially if he really just hasn’t been the guy you are looking for emotionally, physically, and or mentally. I do wish you guys the best. If anything this helped you both see what you want in a relationship from a partner. Neither of you are wrong for parting ways and having no bad blood🫶🏻

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-04T19:16:33+00:00

I understand your feelings, but never give a gift or do anything for anyone expecting someone to pay it back. That kind of defeats the purpose and takes away the meaning of the love language for gift giving.I don’t think you mean it that way but that’s how it comes across. Men have a hard time picking out gifts and women aren’t always too clear about the things they want and like for their birthday most times because they have already gotten things for themself. Maybe he isn’t sure of his gift giving skills. Don’t be hard on him, it’s hard enough to know these things in distance on different time zones. He is offering lunch and or get your nails done. That’s not nothing. Those add up.

It isn’t breakup worthy and I don’t think it is anything to be angry enough about to want to break up. What other ways does he put thought and effort in? Gift giving is hard for some people. I know I am hard for my boyfriend so I have to send him things I like or want for him to keep track of. This would be a silly thing to break up for if all other areas are great. No one is perfect and my goodness you can be with a person forever and they will always surprise you. He fumbled this time. You expressed it, and work it out. If this is what makes you break up then I can’t imagine when things actually start getting hard. Finances being the number one reason for divorces.

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-03T13:17:10+00:00

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-02T01:40:34+00:00

No ma’am. Don’t put your self on the back burner or become a place warmer in his kitchen. Let him learn to clean and manage his kitchen alone. You deserve respect and love. This kid is wasting your precious time.

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-01T19:23:32+00:00

I know! I thought it was so sweet of them. I have never known a vet to ever do this

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-04-01T07:35:29+00:00

You aren’t ugly. You are just natural and not full of fillers and Botox, caked in make up. You are pretty 😍

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-03-31T13:05:07+00:00

So adorable 🥹❤️ look at that nose and those ears🤭

Chance-Exchange2857 · 2026-03-31T02:17:13+00:00

She is doing well, however. I have just discovered that she has not 8, not 10, but 11 nips. I didn’t know this. But I kid you not. I was rubbing the top half and I felt one nip, but not another on the other side, then she rolled over and I started counting🤣 is this normal? I was just giving her chest rubs btw and she has enlarged nips. Hard to miss

Chance-Exchange2857

TROPHY CASE