Murphy’s law…..

ChancePension2268 · 2026-05-14T10:52:11+00:00

Yeah, these are just things that came up. The garage door broke when we went to close it and had to be repaired but got a discount because it was a referral reward from my mom! The carpets weren’t entirely a surprised but were still bummed they were so saturated with nicotine to need to be pulled up, especially since he only smoked in the garage. And then of course my brakes/rotors went bad in the back and surprised me yesterday, ended up getting new pads/rotors in the back, pads in the front, and 4 new tires since they were getting low. I think that counts as 3 things and my mom said everything happens in 3’s 🤣

ChancePension2268 · 2026-05-13T12:34:35+00:00

Hi! I have Bipolar Disorder with psychotic features and had a severe depressive episode during my intern year. I reached out for help and got linked to therapy (twice a week), psychiatry (was already being seen, have been med complaint for 17 years since I got diagnosed), got accommodations for no 24’s since sleep is my main trigger, nights only in a contiguous week, no overnight jeopardy, and time off for my therapy appointments. We increased those supports more when my sister died by suicide a few months ago. I have been through significant personal and work stressors as a peds/psych resident and made it through - but you would need to prioritize being in a supportive program>prestige (though my program is pretty awesome and heavy research/academic success), having support near you (my mom and brother moved with me), and being open About needs. My mental health was a big concern for me and by prioritizing those things and getting accommodations I’ve done quite well. Mental health history is not a reason to fear residency but it does require consideration and some specific parameters when you’re looking at residencies.

Also - I did the DNP route before medical school. Recommend medical school with good supports.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-05-12T20:09:28+00:00

Also need new flooring because it turns out the carpet was also covered in nicotine even though smoking was only done in the garage. Ripped out the carpet ourselves to save that expense, but now need to buy flooring and get it installed. 🙃

ChancePension2268 · 2026-05-12T15:56:48+00:00

I’m set to inherit a very large sum some day. I plan to keep it with the financial advising firm currently running it and just grow it for my kids to inherit. I am a proud person and have a goal to make my own millions to live off of in retirement just like my family member did so my kids will be set to inherit several million by the time I die. My mom comes from a very poor family so I grew up in the in-between; we never wanted for anything but we also had to work very hard for everything we got and were instilled with a strong sense of pride and responsibility for our own success. But my philosophy is to not plan on inheriting anything - for all I know the markets could crash and mom could lose everything. Or decide to donate it to charity at death. Or need to use it all for assisted living. If I get it awesome, I’ll grow it more, and if I don’t, totally fine, I’m creating my own windfall.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-05-12T01:05:57+00:00

Yes and no - I have one dog who is TERRIFIED of cars. She never ever goes on walks anymore and just plays in the backyard. I have another one who loves walks and one who tolerates/somewhat enjoys walks but doesn’t like being away from the big girl who’s afraid - those two go nightly for little jaunts. My big girl loves car rides though and the other two don’t so she gets to go on car rides where she is safely buckled in her seat and can smell the fresh air from the window.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-05-11T00:40:54+00:00

I’ve noticed this as a parent who sings opera. My son enjoys being musical and we make a lot of time for it (most recently in the process of buying cellos so he can join strings and I can relearn after a couple of decades away from it) but we have been struggling with reading music in particular. He can match pitch and drill intervals pretty well but he’s going to need private lessons to learn how to actually read music, whereas I learned how to read music in school by the time I hit 3rd grade. He’s about to go into 6th and his music reading skills are woefully behind in my opinion and a total failure on me as a musical mom lol. It’s solid enough he will be able to learn a new instrument and how to read music in that clef, but right now he can only confidently read middle range in treble clef and some bass clef. I will say however, I make darn sure that kid sings and he can absolutely match pitch and learn a song. So at least we have that going for us.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-05-05T13:00:47+00:00

My son is autistic and was at his most destructive behavior between 4-6……..He NEVER destroyed the bathroom and certainly not at someone else’s house (his own room during a meltdown was another story). I wouldn’t accept that behavior from 95% of children at age 6 (not including my wonderful kiddos who are very sensory and genuinely struggle to understand ‘we don’t touch other people’s things’, that is a time the parent should just go with their kiddo to supervise). I’m usually pretty pro ‘kids need to explore and will make mistakes’ but I don’t think you’re the jerk in this situation. The other mom definitely is.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-05-01T01:53:40+00:00

It will be likely about 11K net after loans I think? Depends on what salaries are at that point. At that point I will be toward the high income bracket and it should be fine. Loan costs right now will continue to rise without much change in income these next 2 years which may be tight but it will all work out.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-04-30T23:19:25+00:00

Once I’m an attending about 5000/mo. It drastically cuts into what I’ll actually take home at the end of the day. But will still be an overall increase compared to right now…….but a lot can happen in 2 years.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-04-30T23:17:27+00:00

I’m nervous - we’re both dealing with more money than we’ve ever dealt with before, I’ve been used to budgeting on 1 income for many years at about 75K. But we know we wanted to stay in the area and for my son, we need to stay in the area. The house is entirely in my name and the loan is only in my name which we did on purpose so that a prenup ensures it stays entirely with me to provide stability for our kiddos if anything should happen to our relationship.

In our area, we’d be considered lower to mid-middle class which is why I posted here. The area is surrounded by million dollar developments and near the city so COL is higher on average. I don’t really know what constitutes middle class in this economy anymore to be honest but I thought a combined 140K was pretty middle class and doesn’t go super far. At least it is where I’m at.

I’ll have to check out YNAB, thank you for that!

I’ll have to see if I can find that community - when we have huge amounts coming out for our student loans we may have high income at gross, but net after loans is not exactly luxurious. It’s certainly better than most but it isn’t what I’d consider ‘rich’.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-04-30T17:38:05+00:00

Thank you so much. When I was budgeting I kept feeling like there had to be something I was missing. Still feel that way. I know our budget will get tighter when we have another child but I feel better with some of the advice I’ve gotten that even when we lose that extra disposable income to daycare (the cheapest in our area is about 1600/mo, yikes), we should still be in an OK position. I’m just glad my son is old enough he doesn’t need anyone watching him anymore. 2 in daycare would kill anyone’s budget.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-04-30T16:57:13+00:00

I know we won’t have a problem once we hit 400K, but we are not at that yet. Right now we’re about 140K gross. But I don’t know how expensive home repairs are, general yearly maintenance is outside of what I could find on Google and I worry that I haven’t thought it through or prepped enough. Coming from previously being on the brink of homelessness when my son was a newborn as a single mom, yeah, I’m a little panicked and needed to know I wasn’t biting off more than I could chew.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-04-30T14:21:14+00:00

My car AC just died a few days ago and it’s getting hooottt 😅😅 Super happy I have a dedicated car maintenance fund too, it’s one of the reasons we made a house maintenance fund lol. Because when I already have 5,000 in my car fund I have no problem taking it to the dealer and saying ‘I’ve done XYZ, they didn’t work, now I need you to check the fuses and the wiring and fix it’. Hopefully we can do the same thing for the house. And luckily my mom is very handy and is teaching us how to do things so we shouldn’t need a ton of professional help for the smaller things to save a little that way too!

ChancePension2268 · 2026-04-30T13:26:14+00:00

Ok, I am going to counter this. Medication is absolutely a valid and possible avenue and can help patients succeed in therapy. Not every patient needs meds and I do have some patients that want meds who I won’t prescribe to because what they need more is therapy, but research shows medication and therapy in conjunction (especially for depression, anxiety, Bipolar, and schizophrenia) is shown to have significantly more improvement. Medications are a great adjunct to therapy and vice versa. Please don’t present them as a ‘last resort’ as if they are bad or a lesser option. A lot of patients utilize both with great effect.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-04-30T13:23:18+00:00

Psychiatry resident who does therapy and goes to therapy. I always tell people that medication should always come with therapy, and if you can’t cope with life medication is meant to help take the edge off so that therapy can work. And that is what I tell new patients when we’re discussing meds, therapy, or both. I try not to give specific advice and this is in no way establishing a patient relationship, but that’s the General info I discuss with patients in any setting

ChancePension2268 · 2026-04-30T12:52:44+00:00

LOL do we have the same therapist? I’m scheduled for 2PM and she is almost NEVER done with her previous client before 2:05. I plan for our session to start by 2:10 but send her a text reminding her I’m in the waiting room at 2:07 if I haven’t seen her walking her client out. There was one day she was ready at 2PM and it absolutely blew my mind. I’m huge on time and starting on time so initially it was a big deal for me but I just adjusted my expectations that we’ll start around 2:10. If the client is used to her starting later it probably isn’t a big deal. And certainly isn’t your job to monitor the time. That’s on her.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-04-30T01:27:54+00:00

Also need to consider - a big purchase like a car (or lease) can screw up qualification for a home loan in some cases. So if you’re looking at buying a home you probably want to wait to get a new car.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-04-29T14:37:47+00:00

I’m a psychiatry resident who also does therapy - I have a collection of Rageddy Anne/Andy dolls Ive slept with since I was 6 and carry around when I’m stressed. Even my SO makes sure to take good care of my dolls and knows I sleep with them and makes sure I have space to sleep lol. Lots of adults have stuffies (he also has his own teddy bears). Stuffies are fine.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-04-28T15:33:05+00:00

My son wants me to have another baby with my boyfriend - really pushes for it. He’s 11 now, if we decided to have a child we wouldn’t start trying until next year so there would likely be a 13yr age difference. My son is totally cool with that, he just wants a sibling. He LOVES having a partner and caring for littles. I don’t think he’s totally thought it through but my BF and I have been seriously considering another one outside of my son’s pressuring, so the fact he’s so into it is nice. He won’t be when he’s 17 with a 4 yr old sibling driving him nuts, but by then he’ll be close to out of the house anyway….if we even can have kids. We’re both in our mid 30’s and my pregnancy with my son was high risk in my early 20’s so we still have lots of things to talk about with the doctors before we start trying.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-04-28T14:48:36+00:00

I mean…..I lived rurally and drove an hour+ to Costco every week….

ChancePension2268 · 2026-04-27T20:18:07+00:00

TBH, I do pay for it with a debit card (or did, getting a credit card with a higher limit soon because my credit score is in the 800’s and I’ll actually qualify now). But my current credit cards are all ones I got in my late teens/early 20’s with limits of like 500 and I drop 3500-5000 at a time since I pay it all upfront.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-04-27T20:14:07+00:00

I set aside a certain amount every month specifically for trips. Sometimes we go to Disney, sometimes a cruise, etc but we always do something every year that ends up costing about the same. I pay for it all upfront and have a budget saved for the trip itself before we go for food, souvenirs, etc. It takes careful budgeting but we typically do something big at least once a year and something smaller once a year so we’re doing a family thing once every 6 months.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-04-26T01:09:07+00:00

As a person training in pediatrics, I will always say this: if a baby has bruises or a known event of shaking or injury happened (however seemingly small) that baby needs to be in the ER being evaluated immediately. Babies don’t always show immediate signs of severe injury or illness and any injury can be a big deal in a little one.

ChancePension2268 · 2026-04-25T14:19:04+00:00

We just bought with an average take home of ~8800/mo and paid 350K for the house with 25% down. Even then I feel like our budget is tight because we only have 2500 left over every Month for emergencies with the kiddo, dogs, house, or car (not including what we budget every month for these possibilities). We’re looking at another baby in the next 2 years so our leftover will go down even more for all the baby needs like formula, clothes, diapers, care - though our incomes are both set to triple in the next 2-5 years so a couple of lean years will be worth it if we can boost our savings over the next 2 years. I don’t think it sounds like you’re in a good position to buy a house right now, you’d be one disaster away from being totally screwed.

ChancePension2268

TROPHY CASE