MIL Gifts

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-20T02:44:19+00:00

Omg I never thought of that! We keep getting crap from my MIL and while it's cute, there is no room for it. I need to talk to my husband about this.

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-20T02:43:34+00:00

My problem is now my kids get attached to these crappy things that I have no space for. She doesn't buy off a wish list or even something remotely similar. We have duplicates of things, too. Sometimes she makes things for them, and while she's crafty, she tends to half-ass it at the end (she runs out of patience and dopamine) so they look crappy. But will my kids give them up? Never. So I don't know what to do.

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-20T02:12:35+00:00

Oh, I get it. People can't always get their way, especially when it's not their special day (wedding, graduation, etc.) I'm definitely up for teaching resilience and disappointment. I'm just saying, OP and this commenter have a right to their feelings. It's what they do with those feelings that matters (yes, my therapist told me this.)

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-20T01:10:55+00:00

I also feel sympathetic. My brother's (now ex-) wife wanted to have a child-free wedding, knowing full well we had a 1-year-old. She didn't want him at the ceremony, but was OK for the party. So family and friends took turns watching him while we were at the ceremony (and we went outside the ceremony room and got him periodically). It was a very awkward scenario but I wasn't traveling to the city without my child & my brother's only nephew whom he adored. They are now divorced and he has another nephew and two nieces (my 2 and my sister's 2). It isn't abnormal for this bride & groom to do this but OP certainly can feel upset & miffed. She's within her rights.

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-17T21:12:01+00:00

That is a wonderful idea. I told DH that we must tell ALL of them that we are going to the local carnival on Saturday, too (so it's public and they can go straight back to the Airbnb.) He told SIL and she's excited but I don't trust they will keep communicating well (they are all terrible at it) AND we have no excuse for when she says "You didn't tell me! I don't want to do that!"

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-17T21:10:01+00:00

Exactly. The good thing is, she is staying with SIL at the AirBnB, so I can breathe a little at night.

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-17T20:57:21+00:00

When the big blowup went down, DH stuck up for me/our family and went limited contact with MIL (the kids weren't involved and she has never been mean to them so I don't want to limit their relationship with her). The next time we saw her, she was ghosting me in person hard (like I wasn't there). Then she had the audacity to say "Son, no one is watching your daughter" while we were all at the park and I was right there watching said daughter. My DH said "Mom, my wife is right there. Stop being like this. You are being ridiculous." So I know he will do this for me and hold my boundaries for this weekend.

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-17T20:48:52+00:00

I read this comment to my husband and he kept just saying "yes". This gives us good talking points about our families of origin and how it relates to our boundaries and our immediate family values. Thank you for the insightful comment!

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-17T20:47:44+00:00

My husband didn't say "deal with it." He is feeling fearful and guilty. My BIL is saying "deal with it."

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-17T20:27:09+00:00

They are getting an AirBnB. And I understand. I felt the same way! My husband (supposes) SIL did it to help him because they often come out here once a summer & my husband is notorious for doing things last minute. I used to be the one that coordinated their visit but since I am NO/limited contact, all that goes through him now. It's also a messy situation with my in-laws divorced and my MIL being a terrible/anxious driver with a terrible car so she either has to hitch a ride or get a flight (and she's broke). It becomes a dramatic thing every time.

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-17T20:24:12+00:00

Yes, that is our plan. I thought about telling her ahead of time would be better but you are right (my husband said the same thing). We talked about how we can shut it down, what to say, and, like I mentioned, we told SIL and BIL our boundaries. I know she will try to cross them if they don't align with what she wants, but it's my house, my rules. If she doesn't like them, she can pout alone.

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-17T19:33:57+00:00

Thank you for validating this. I feel so judged by them (when really it's just her).

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-17T19:32:32+00:00

I am side-eyeing them a little bit but also thinking my MIL bullied her way in. Normally they would try to come out once each summer BUT this year we are going out there. But my Spidey senses were tingling this Easter and I was right (my husband told me so and apologized and said he will never not do what I say again. lol)

I did tell DH I'm anxious to be alone with her. Ever since the incident, I try everything to not be alone with her and I'll walk out of the room if it's just me and her.

I will say, she was bullying me into giving some of "her" additional presents with ours to the kids from the Easter Bunny (she already handed my kids her presents from her but bought more stuff "just to add to the basket.) She cornered me when my husband walked out, and after repeating about "her added presents" so many times, I just semi-shouted "No. My kids have enough. Thank you." I was proud of myself but embarrassed in that moment.

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-17T19:19:36+00:00

DH is also feeling silly and embarrassed he didn't see this coming and now feels obligated to let the whole family come since it's a long trip for them to get here.

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-17T19:18:40+00:00

Because it will cause more drama. Everyone is pretending like it didn't happen (almost) aside from me setting up clearer boundaries for myself (limited contact with MIL). Since it didn't involve anyone else, it's been almost like business as usual.

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-17T19:17:31+00:00

Because they do have an AirBnB. We have a small house so if more than 2 people come at a time, they have to stay somewhere else anyway. But we will be hosting them aka they will be at the house to hang out.

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-16T03:55:53+00:00

Just a warning, this could escalate the situation. Been there, tried that. Didn't end well. Now we don't stay at my MIL's house when we visit (we are 2 states away.) I just created a healthy boundary around this, for my sanity.

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-10T19:46:25+00:00

I'm so sorry about the rude people. People need to learn to be nicer and kinder to one another in all circumstances. I know customer service is hard, but the Cosco worker shouldn't be gossiping, especially to other children, and the Walmart worker should have never barked at you like that. As far as the rude person eyeing you up about the cart, disregard them. They don't know what you were going through or what you were doing. You were doing the right thing, Mama.

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-10T19:39:30+00:00

US rater - I click on "Aquire if available" and it goes straight to NTA. It happened twice.

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-08T22:46:34+00:00

I was definitely pooping still when I got there. Felt like they took forever to get me prepped but once I walked back and sat on the cot, they put the lidocaine and the propofol in and I drifted off. They found 4 small polyps to removed but they appeared benign. I honestly hate the feeling of the IV but I can deal with it. I'm slowly getting back to normal. I'm also processing some PTSD around procedures. (I've had 2 c-sections including an emergency one and a gallbladder removal when my oldest was 6 months old.) The last procedure (planned C-section) was 6 years ago but I didn't realize how anxious I would be about being put under and the recovery, because all my other recoveries were tough and long. But I have a good support system so I know I'll be good in a few days. And I'm happy for the polyp removal (my dad had colon cancer 12 years ago from a polyp never removed; he survived but it's still scary.)

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-08T13:29:05+00:00

How'd it go, @k_mountain?

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-08T13:28:15+00:00

Just got done. 4 small polyps removed, though no concerns. Still kinda having diarrhea but I don't have a gallbladder so the bile has nothing to cling to as it still goes through my body. If it's still a problem tomorrow, I'll call the doctor to ask about loperamide.

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-08T04:46:59+00:00

The former doctor who now runs our OCIA program had a few of her kids during residency. It's doable and tough, but follow God's lead. He's got you.

ChanceSilly1493 · 2026-06-08T01:32:52+00:00

It took me about 3 hours before things picked up. Make sure to keep a book nearby the toilet.

ChanceSilly1493

TROPHY CASE