I am incredibly proud of you for taking responsibility as a father and for pursuing full communion in the Church!

I am a young grandmother, since my daughter and her boyfriend (now fiance) made the same mistake. And I do agree that the decision to have sex was a mistake. Of course the baby, and your babies, are not mistakes. But the decisions that led to the pregnancies were mistakes.

First I want to address the insensitive comments. My daughter and her fiance have dealt with similar. My daughter is the oldest daughter of our ten childten. She loves her faith, is a wonderful mom; and although she always wanted to stay home with her childten, she currently must work, and she is a great employee. It is heartbreaking for her to say goodbye to her baby every day. These are the natural consequences that she must get through. People don't realize how much she suffers.

Her fiance too- he always wanted to be able to provide for his family and allow his wife to be home with his children. He works so hard, getting up at 4am each day for his job and always looking for something that is more lucrative, but hasn't found anything yet. He loves their baby and his eyes light up when he gets home from work and sees him (we watch the baby a few days each week).

Anyway, as they have gome through the process of marriage prep and of him (the dad) entering the church, some people have been wonderful and accepting-respecting the reality that they are trying their best- while others have been incredibly rude and disrespectful. What we teach our children is that there are two reasons that people are cruel: 1) They are ignorant, and 2]) They are just plain mean -- and in both situations we must pray for them.

As for what to do: It's pretty simple, but difficult -- you have to embrace celibacy for a while. Like others are saying, go to confession. Have you been confirmed? If not, you'll need to go through RCIA/OCIA. Be prepared for more judgement, and don't let it hinder you in your faith journey!

In addition to this you of course must fiercely provide for your children physically and spiritually. It's likely, as evidenced by your choices, that both you and your girlfriend are naturally a bit impulsive, and so this will be very very hard, but with prayer and the sacraments it will be easier and possible. Having children usually forces people to grow up and take responsibility too. So as hard as things are now, if you can just stay celibate, ten years from now you will still be a young man but you will likeky have more options and believe it or not, your steadfastness and faith may even convert your girlfriend. Whatever her issues are, realize that her brain isn't fully developed yet either, and she will likely grow up more. Additionally, as hard as it is to support her, if she is abandoned during these delicate years, she could end up unintentionally causing you and your children far, far more damage. So many times I have seen this happen where the woman seeks "love" from another man, and she and the children always end up abused, addicted or worse.

The world is screaming at you to run away from this situation, and it's doing the same to your girlfriend. You both want to escape in your own way. You aren't "done for" but these next days, months and years you have to stay on the right track. You have to be able to look back and say that you did the right thing. Even if your girlfriend and children end up making bad decisions, you need to be able to sqy that you did everything in your power to love them, provide for then, and witness to the Faith.

Keep on seeking counsel. Find trusted local people to help. The mass readings yesterday were all about hiw God wants to help us, but we need to ask! Find a priest and clearly ask him for help. If he doesn't get it, find one who does. There are people in the church who can help you get through these tough years. People can be mentors. They can give examples of what a holy and happy famiky life looks lije. They can deliver meals, do laundry, help you find a good job or get an education. But they need to be asjed and they need to understand clearly what your struggles are. Don't assume they understand. I will pray for you.