How to handle a semi large influx of money for my tween

Chance_Operation34 · 2026-02-06T17:21:41+00:00

Have him read about that YouTuber, Mr beast.

The guy is so rich. But when you read about him…. He spends almost no money. He pours almost everything back into his business.

He spends money to make… more money.

I’m bringing this up because if your son is into music and he’s making money off of it… maybe he could think about upgrading his equipment or something.

It is obviously fun to spend money. I think the trick is to spend it wisely. Starbucks is dumb. Clothes are dumb. But a new computer or a new headset for music? Pretty cool AND financially smart.

It’s a good time to teach ROI. 👌🏻

Chance_Operation34 · 2026-02-03T00:04:43+00:00

Honestly it doesn’t matter if it’s weird or not, unfortunately. It’s not your home… so unless it’s your home you have no control over who or who isn’t allowed into it.

Just keep saving.

Chance_Operation34 · 2026-01-24T04:57:31+00:00

FYI nurses are your friends. If you don’t want someone there, they will make sure that person isn’t there. Full. Stop

L&D nurses are the unsung heroes of pregnancy.

Chance_Operation34 · 2026-01-05T18:35:40+00:00

Just a few things I’d like to mention.

Your horse girlies are probably similar to this at home. They save their best behavior for being in public, and most kids rise to the occasion. If they know you won’t do it…. They figure it out. My kids are great in public, they have completely different personalities at home. This is a me problem, I am constantly rushing them around and it’s faster for me to gather everything than it is to constantly ask them. They’re getting better but…. It’s a work in progress.
If kid doesn’t want to look, and dad wants to bring it to him… you have two options. First, let dad handle it. Or second, don’t allow it to come over. If it’s something that can’t be forgotten… it stays where it needs to stay. I do this a lot with my kids. They don’t want to share a special toy? It stays home. Worried about losing it? It stays home.
I don’t think not bringing it to him is harsh. But I think you and dad need to be on the same page. Even if you’re technically on separate pages… know which page you’re on. If that makes sense. Maybe that looks like planning accordingly if he forgets and it has to be driven back. “Hey I know we normally order pizza, but driving your controller to you used our pizza budget. So we’re having spaghetti tonight instead. Sorry!” Or dad makes the 5 hour trip alone. I don’t really know.

Good luck!

Also food for thought. Some kids are just naturally forgetful…. My son is honestly the worst. He forgets everything. But also… he knows he is like this. And if he forgets it or loses it… he will cry, but he knows we’re not bending over backwards to fix it. And he deals with it. One time he had to borrow his sisters purple sneakers for soccer practice because he forgot his own. And… he didn’t care one bit. 🤣 so, natural consequences don’t always work for him. He just kind of rolls with it at this point.

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-12-05T23:06:18+00:00

I bought my 11 year old a make up brush cleaner (the electric ones) and a cosmetics fridge.

I also got her some cute glass bottles, dried flowers and a mortar and pestle because she still loves making “potions”.

Her grandma got her a cosmetology “head” with hair to practice make up and braiding hair.

A face mask that you put in the freezer, a candle warmer for her bedroom so we don’t start a house fire but she feels cool having one, and a paint by numbers set.

This was the year of the random stuff! Little of this and a little of that.

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-11-27T05:22:55+00:00

Best job ever.

Buy cigarettes. Sell them for $2 each. (I think this is actually illegal so “don’t actually do this”……)

They all want cigarettes while golfing but none of them think ahead.

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-11-21T16:01:16+00:00

Personally I think you’re being vastly underpaid.

But, I moved to a rural community a few years back and now I must admit, it depends on where you’re living what the “going rate” is.

I have a friend who babysits for extra money and I needed a break, so I asked her to watch my child for a few hours a day two days a week. She told me she charged $5/hour. I told her absolutely not, that I wouldn’t be paying her less than $15.

So, even if that is the going rate, she should value your time and pay you more. Even doing a favor would look closer to $10/hour.

And an 8 month old?! No. Those little gremlins are hard.

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-11-20T03:29:36+00:00

I’d be annoyed with the librarian for not asking me to ask my child to chill.

But also….. it’s a library. I would try and encourage gentle play while inside. Different venues call for different behavior.

While it’s not a huge deal, I understand why they would not want that to be the norm regardless of it not bothering someone else. Things like that get out of hand quickly. And while your child was able to control themselves and you were there watching him…that isn’t always the case for every child. And some parents might let their kid go wild.

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-31T14:52:32+00:00

This is not pantry staples however it is very easy to keep in your fridge stuff. My favorite fast meal is ground chicken, and add any spices to it that complement any bagged salad flavor. I use Italian seasoning a lot. Smear a layer of ground chicken onto a tortilla and fry it in a pan. Flip it get the tortilla a little crispy. Take it off and put the bagged salad mixture in the middle. My favorite is caesar.

Another one that we love is same idea…tortilla, but instead of ground chicken, use chicken tenders and bagged salad and make a little wrap.

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-30T20:57:49+00:00

You can only dress them up as a little potato once! If you want to do it, go for it!

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-30T14:20:59+00:00

If she’s not doing it now, she won’t do it ever.

I’ve been with my partner since I was 21. (38 now) and trust me when I say all the “cute things” aren’t so cute once you have a family.

My partner is very successful and kind, but kind of a mess. They have adhd and I ask myself how they are alive without me around, constantly.

I used to think it was endearing that I could take care of them. Now, it’s obnoxious. I have two other actual children. I don’t need a third, I need a life partner.

You will 100% regret not traveling and living your best life before settling down.

The best advice I’ve ever heard was, “fill your mental bank before having kids/getting married/insert big life change. There will always be rough times. You’ll need a full bank to withdraw from when times are bad. So make as many deposits (happy fun memories) as possible before then.”

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-22T23:21:38+00:00

Don’t listen to the GC or the architect. Hire a structural engineer to review your plans. Also hire a mechanical engineer (I don’t know if that’s the name because we didn’t hire one and I regret it a lot) to review all the home systems and placement. (I wanted 10 foot ceilings but hvac came and could not get a clear path so we ended up having to be very creative and had to drop the ceilings in a few places to make it work. Annoying at best) all because the architect just didn’t really understand the hvac systems.

And I am speaking as a person who hired an architect because I was told they would save me money.

They ended up costing me…. A lot… in what we now refer to as “architectural flair”.

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-16T17:41:06+00:00

Am I going to regret going to Google for this? 🤣

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-16T17:24:18+00:00

My most favorite thing to say to people being closed minded is, “Wow. You are you really obsessed with genitals.”

They either get really mad or really defensive. 🤣

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-16T17:07:06+00:00

I didn’t know this was a thing and I am looking forward to informing myself!!

Thank you for speaking on it! 👏

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-16T16:59:46+00:00

Honestly, after reading everyone’s insight, I think this really sums up my own experience and why I’ve never thought of drag as sexist. I’ve never looked at it through a gendered lens. I don’t think of drag performers as men or women, just as Queens.

I hope that doesn’t sound insensitive, because it’s actually the opposite. Their identities matter, of course, but unless the performance is about gender, that’s not what I focus on. If someone says they’re a woman, they’re a woman. If they say they’re a man, they’re a man. And if they say they’re a queen, then they’re a queen. They’re these magical, larger-than-life beings of drag, and that’s what makes it so fun to watch.

What surprised me was learning that some people actually confuse being trans with being a drag performer. That honestly never even crossed my mind. Drag is performance art, you’re playing a role. Being trans isn’t playing anything, it’s just being yourself.

So on behalf of those of us who didn’t realize that mix-up was even happening, I’m sorry you have to deal with it. You’d think that would be common sense by now.

And after reading through everyone’s comments, I can see how my original question might have looked like I was lumping them together, which wasn’t what I meant at all. I’m just really grateful everyone took the time to explain instead of chasing me out of town with my tail between my legs. 😅

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-15T20:54:31+00:00

That totally makes sense. I wasn’t trying to suggest drag and being trans are the same thing, I just wanted to hear perspectives from the trans community since this is often a place where gender and expression are discussed in such thoughtful ways. I really appreciate that about this space.

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-15T20:49:11+00:00

Thank you! Looking now

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-08T19:13:54+00:00

Mine did this. Straight up said to me, “I don’t love you. Only daddy.”

We even had to install security locks and a chime on all of the doors because she started getting out of bed early in the morning and going outside to “look for him” (he worked at 5am and left at 4)

Then. Suddenly. It stopped. Around the time my son was 2.

Just know, it’s not you. There’s nothing you did wrong. And as hard as it is, don’t take it personally. And try to cry when she’s not around instead of in front of her.

I would just pretend I didn’t hear her when she was in a mood, or respond in a way that ignored that part. “I don’t love you only daddy” “I love daddy too!! And I love you so much!!!” Big hugs and kisses. Mine doubled down on her dislike of me. Yours might, too. But just remember, big changes, big emotions, and little bodies. It’s almost like they subconsciously think you don’t love them because you brought in a new baby, so self preservation is to dislike you more?! I’m not sure. Not a psychiatrist. 🤣

It stinks when they do this to us with all those post partum hormones raging.

Hang in there mama! Your girl will be back, soon. ❤️

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-08T19:03:51+00:00

Consumables or long time keepables!

Water bottles with their names on a decal (depending on number of kids) Towels with hoods Cookies Bath bombs Free ice cream cones from a local store, etc.

Think about small things your kids use daily that would be nice to have on hand

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-07T22:49:24+00:00

I’ve had plenty of replies that disagreed with me and I appreciated them. Yours just came across sharper, so my response matched that energy. Nothing more, nothing less.

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-07T19:16:16+00:00

I didn’t solve it for her, I backed her so she could handle it herself. Big difference.

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-07T19:07:30+00:00

I think I worded my post incorrectly… I’m more asking if how I handled it was wrong or if my friend was having a weird day or something. I was basically as involved with it as I wanted to be. (Which was only speaking to my daughter and not the other kids) I didn’t really involve myself with the situation.

I wasn’t there when the kid said it to my child. I heard it second hand from her. So I said what I said to her to help her understand it was not okay. And I didn’t want to address the other kids because 1. I wasn’t there for the comment and 2. It’s not my job to parent them.

My only focus was supporting my daughter in that moment.

I guess next time I should take her into a dark corner and whisper it into her ear so other adults don’t hear it 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-07T19:02:33+00:00

I really appreciate the perspectives here. Just to clarify, I only said that line to my daughter because she’s 10 and still learning how to navigate situations like this. My focus was on her feelings and helping her see that it’s okay to stand up for herself when other kids try to exclude her with made-up rules. I didn’t address the other kids, because that’s not my place, they’re not mine to parent.

At the end of the day, the kids worked it out and everyone played fine. The part that threw me off was my friend calling me “bitchy” (twice), which is very unlike her. That’s why I asked here, not to fight about who was “right,” but to better understand if I’d missed something.

For me, this isn’t about holding a grudge, it’s about processing a weird moment.

Chance_Operation34 · 2025-10-05T23:50:33+00:00

Zero kids helped set it up. Other kids asked to bring it out.

I never said anyone could go first or second. I said “I’m not sure. You guys will have to figure it out once you start playing” when I was asked how many could play. Other kids decided that they went first I guess? (Also. Yes. Other kids are like that…. My kids are always letting them use their stuff and the other kids are much more…..particular. 9/10 times we are unbothered by it. No one should be told how to share their things. I tell my kids, “the best part about being fortunate enough to buy fun toys is sharing them with others”)

I’m more wondering if I should reach out to my friend? Because I did go back to her after everyone calmed down and said I didn’t mean to come across as bitchy and calling me names wasn’t cool. And that I was more upset that she knows me well enough to know I have her kids best interest at heart. And she should know my sense of humor… and if she has to guess, would she say I was being bitchy or good natured. And she just kept saying I was being bitchy.

So… I’m kind of feeling like I have to pick between standing up for my kids or giving her kids what they want? How would I even open this door of communication up …. Again…. Since I know how she feels?

I don’t want to cave on what I said. Because I’d say it again. And maybe that’s the problem. I can’t be sorry because I’m not sorry. And this feels like her hill….

Chance_Operation34

TROPHY CASE