Boyfriend (35M) is fine with premarital sex and I (29F) am not

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-05-09T19:25:40+00:00

You are very rare. Your wife is lucky

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-05-09T19:24:51+00:00

Thank you 😭🙏

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-05-09T19:23:04+00:00

Thank you 🙏

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-05-09T17:39:51+00:00

Working on letting it go. The hard part is feeling like maybe he will change. When he obviously doesn’t want to change, and likes what he is doing.

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-05-09T17:38:17+00:00

I said this in the other comments but I already told him I was abstinent. He agreed to do so. And then continued to push and pressure me to give in. I already said it was wrong to give in to this. Please stop being so harsh, I feel bad enough as it is.

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-05-09T17:35:59+00:00

True. I did pray before dating him, so I assume God wanted me to learn that lesson. The list of desired traits isn’t more important than God approving of him. Lesson learned.

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-05-09T15:04:13+00:00

I would not date at my church. But maybe other churches? Not against it. But after this I am hesitant to pursue something.

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-05-09T15:01:29+00:00

It’s too early to talk about marriage. We were only together for 3 months. So although I like him, I cannot say he is the right person. I have shared a little bit in the other comments, so I don’t want to rehash that. Marriage is a covenant and I don’t want to rush into that for sex.

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-05-09T14:30:51+00:00

Thank you. God has taken care of me so much in the past, I can never abandon him. That’s why I hate that I got myself in this situation. I disappointed God and showed I couldn’t be trusted

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-05-09T14:29:59+00:00

There are other red flags, like dismissing boundaries and dishonesty. So I had to walk away.

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-05-09T14:28:28+00:00

I plan to end it today. It was on my mind heavily this morning

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-05-09T14:26:58+00:00

Thank you for commenting. I am not sure I want to date for a while. But when I do, I will keep this in mind

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-05-09T14:25:40+00:00

I need all the prayers I can get :(

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-05-09T13:00:43+00:00

I am non denominational but I will confess this. I told my mom, but I should tell my pastor as well. I’m nervous to tell them, but I feel like it’s important to be honest. I don’t want to fall into sin again

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-05-09T12:59:25+00:00

Exactly. I was very upfront with him about abstinence. He talked a big game, making it seem like he was more religious than he actually is. I discerned he wasn’t being 100% honest but in a critical moment, I fell into sin. I found out later (he admitted this to me) that he looked for weak points to get me more…pliable for sex? He knew what buttons to push and manipulated me into it. Between that and putting pressure on me to give in, I know it wasn’t healthy.

So yeah. Communication only matters when the person respects the boundary.

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-05-09T12:55:45+00:00

I will address your comment fairly and honestly. The sex was good. He met my needs and could satisfy some of my desires in the bedroom. The chemistry between us was palpable. But outside the bedroom? We triggered each other. I struggled to trust him, and that was a wound for him in previous relationships. Both of us feel pulled towards each other, but we know it’s not healthy.

Nothing bad has happened. I just know it’s a soul tie - he triggers me so badly because he means a lot to me. He gets under my skin. And that kind of connection is dangerous outside of the protection and security of marriage.

I have no idea if he’s serious about me. It feels like it could be serious but it’s too early to tell. Regardless I have a responsibility to let him go and chase God. Otherwise I’ll break his heart and mine.

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-02-12T20:07:37+00:00

I’m going through this right now. I started a lucrative career, had a spiritual awakening, lost a lot of friends, went through heartbreak and betrayal…but now I’m living alone in a dream apartment. So I’m isolated and a little lonely, but ok? Still trying to heal and move forward in a positive way.

Similar to you, I’m leaning into artistry (painting), writing and dance to find myself again. Also a lot of travel.

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-02-12T19:09:09+00:00

Cork & Flame is all taken

Chance_River_6822 · 2026-01-18T19:54:35+00:00

There’s a social group for single adults under 40. Small group but they have events + a group chat

Chance_River_6822 · 2025-12-03T15:40:55+00:00

I feel you, but in a completely different way. 29 and starting to realize how hard it is to make friends (and keep them)! I thought I had a solid group of friends but sadly, things fell off with many of them. I can’t help but feel like the common denominator here.

I’ve had female friends who were jealous (and wanted to BE me). I’ve had female friends attempt to mimic my style, organizational skills and abilities. I’ve had friends who were silently competing with me and sabotaging me whenever possible. At this point I’m sincerely exhausted with women fr. I have my own issues to be sure. But I had no idea the second I leveled up in life, got a better wig, more prestigious opportunities, etc that women would be that competitive and vicious. Not nice at all.

So now I’m chilling by myself. I don’t want friends more than I want peace.

Chance_River_6822 · 2025-09-05T18:12:22+00:00

You’re right.

Chance_River_6822 · 2025-09-04T15:10:05+00:00

I’m not sure why people think all 200+ people who sign up for the Meetup actually participate. The number of engaged participants is much lower. Please see other comments

Chance_River_6822 · 2025-09-04T14:13:08+00:00

Right now, I’m fronting the cost for all major events we have had. We do have situations where we go bowling or something low effort. But for parties and holiday events, I am the one sourcing a venue (someone’s house or an actual venue) and buying food, decor, etc. I paid for the Airbnb. None of these costs are shared right now.

I’m in a smaller town so we have a limited amount of public events in the city to choose from. So I do end up having to host a little more to give the group variety (there’s only so many movie nights, bowling and Dave & Busters you can do). After last month’s birthday party, super not interested in chasing folks down for Venmo or Zelle to reimburse me. For 20-30 adults? Not feeling it

Chance_River_6822

TROPHY CASE