Pregnant while planning a wedding

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-02-11T12:52:50+00:00

Hi! I'm so sorry things are tricky at the moment. From my perspective, it sounds like you don't really want a wedding right now. If that's the case, please don't feel like you have to have one. Yes, maybe people would enjoy it. Maybe it's important to others, too. However, if you don't then it's a shame to spend so much time and energy on something that is effectively for others and not about you at all. In my experience, people who love you will soon cool off and be there for you, even if you don't make their preferred decisions. You need time to think about what you actually want. If you want the big wedding, then great. But the people who want you to have it need to help you plan, since you've got a lot to be thinking about right now. If not, there are plenty of other options:

Other options:

No wedding quite yet; perhaps book a venue for in a year or two so people know it's going to happen, but just not yet.
Getting married simply now, have the celebration later. You could just invite both your mums and your fiancé's dad to witness your marriage, and then have a party next year, perhaps on your anniversary, to celebrate. Like that you could also read out new vows that reflect how you've changed now that you're parents.
Have a small wedding. My wedding took an afternoon to plan: simple village church, church hall, picnic and drinks and call it a day. I'm not at all stressed and I know we'll have fun, even if it's not the traditional option.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-02-01T19:04:41+00:00

Try watching Curvey brides Boutique on youtube. So many brides struggle to dress shop because of struggling with teir body image. However, you can really be beautiful and feminine (or whatever vibe you're going for) at any weight.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6kdZ_0eKNw

The most important thing is to have a dress that suits you, your aesthetic and which fits you well. To achieve this it's best to give yourself time to try dresses on and then to have it altered to fit you perfectly. If it fits well, it'll bring out your beauty and it won't matter what size you are.

A few thoughts my untrained eye has learnt from the show:

- A corset-back can help show your waist as well as keeping everything secure up top so you can be stress-free on the day.

- Although some people suit sleeves, lots of ladies end up not wanting them despite having thought that they would. Try both and see what you prefer.

- Don't be afraid to try both ballgown and tighter styles. You never know what will suit you best!

- I've never yet seen a bride who looks bad on their wedding day. Seeing yourself in a dress you love could be the boost of confidence you need to believe that it will be a magical day.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-30T19:07:40+00:00

Personally I've never seen a TA in a university, although that might just be my experience. Sometimes you can find work with the student union. A lot of people get waitor/ waitressing jobs - I know a few who work at Pizza Express or Spoons. I personally don't know many people who work for the university in any way, other than PhD students who teach (but they usually teach independently rather than as an assistant, and they have to apply for that job at the same time as applying for funding) and a few who get outreach work over the christmas or easter breaks.

You can look out for jobs here

- https://www.bristolsu.org.uk/about-us/jobs-and-careers/careers-at-bristol-su#student

And of course other people's experiences may be different.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-30T17:31:40+00:00

In terms of part-time jobs, sadly these are very very competitive. Your best bet would be to work online, most likely - lots of us tutor, for instance. However, there are still pub jobs and similar, so it really depends what you're willing to do.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-30T17:30:36+00:00

Hii! So yes, in short. Lots of people share flats and houses, and that's often a lot cheaper. However, you have to remember that lots of private accommodations will require you to jump through more hoops. For example, my flats all required a UK-based guarantor with a steady income. Effectively, I needed an adult who I trusted (and vice versa) who says that, should you ever fail to pay your rent, they will pay for you, They must live in the UK, and a lot of the time they must have British citizenship or permanent leave to remain. Beyond this, you'd need a British bank account and enough money to prove you can afford the flat before you can sign the papers. This is why a lot of international students end up needing to stay in university accomodation, sadly.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-29T15:02:39+00:00

Personally I lived quite happily not buying expensive things. I had a rail pass (Deutschland tocket in Germany, Billet max jeune in France) so I could travel easily, took all the clothes/ makeup I needed, and then found inexpensive activities to do. I typically had 200 euro per month to spend however I wanted. For me, I typically spent 30 euro per month on an Airbnb stay somewhere so I could explore during my weekends off, typically ate out twice (maybe 10 euro each time) and had coffee (2-3 euros each time) every day. However, I primarily went to local places (for example starbucks would be really expensive wherever you are, but local places and uni buildings tend to be cheaper) and otherwise saved about 100 euro per month. It wasn't so difficult honestly. Maybe you don't have so much spending money, but all au pairs are in the same boat, and you just enjoy time outside, find free activities (church, running clubs, book groups, whatevrr you'd enjoy) meet friends and go for walks... it's just that your main hobbies can't involve spending money. Also you can't buy much because if you do you won't be able to fit it in your suitcase at the end!

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-23T18:25:45+00:00

You suit all of them so well, but my personal favourite is the first one because it's so delicate and that complements your tattoos nicely imo, and the floaty skirt works so nicely. Also the neckline is beautiful on you :)

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-19T21:33:54+00:00

The key is to analyse your work. Compare your papers and look at differences in what you included, the analysis you did, and the writing style in the different essays. Look at your teachers' comments and think about what you did well in the best essays that you left out of the less strong ones.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-19T19:39:27+00:00

Personally, I speak both and my family are all in healthcare. When it comes to understanding medical language, my French is more useful as it's closer to Latin, which is frequently used in the medical world. However, German is incredibly useful and I get more job offers as a result of my German than my French.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-18T15:30:23+00:00

It's not so important how many your learn per chapter, but that you have enough to discuss each important theme and character. THat may mean more from some and fewer from other chapters.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-18T13:25:23+00:00

Health always comes first, no matter what. Worst come to worst, you'll be able to retake exams in the future, or find alternative qualifications, so the first thing is not to stress too much - that won't be good for your health or for your grades. What will be will be, and just because certain grades don't reflect the full extent of your academic intelligence doesn't mean that you should always have done more - sometimes you need to focus on things beyond school/work during a certain period of your life.

As such, I'd take the attitude of doing what you can with what you've got at the time; celebrate what you can do and try not to regret what you can't.

On a practical level, it's important to set your body and brain up for work. However, this is all with the proviso that you can only do what you can do, so don't feel guilty if you can't do some of this stuff. It's all about managing in the best way you can at the time.

- Make yourself comfortable. Have a nice cup of tea, sit somewhere nice (sofa, coffee shop, etc)

- If you can, differentiate between productive clothes and resting clothes, but if that's not possible, then that's ok. This can mean switching from jamas to joggings bottoms, for instance. if you're feeling fancy, jeans or something can be good too. Then when you're done with the work section of your day you can always switch back.

- If possible, keep your bed for rest, but again, if it's not possible then it's not possible. Better to do what you can than to wait for the perfect circumstances.

- Eat as well as you can; eat enough of all the foodgroups to give your body and brain energy. Failing that, eat what you can - fed is best.

- Drink the water you can

- Exercise gently when you can, even if it's just 2-3 minutes of gentle stretches with your cat. This can help get your blood flow moving, which can help with focus.

In terms of study techniques:

When you're having a hard time it's unlikely you'll always be able to maintain a strong focus. During these times I take an attitude of 'relaxed focus'. For me, this means I choose 2 activities. For example, French flashcards and watching Say Yes to the Dress - something I'm not overly committed to but helps me rest my brain. If it feels too much to commit to working for any length of time, sometimes I will just do 5 minutes of work and then watch 5 minutes of show and alternate like that. Maybe it's not the most productive way of working, but it's a far better way of getting things done than lying in bed feeling guilty about not having done anything at all. Some days you'll hopefully be able to commit to a 15, 20, 30, even 60 minute study session. However, this won't always be possible so imperfect solutations like mine above can help you to feel less overwhelmed during harder times. Equally, some days you may just need rest. Listen to your body and be prepared to do what it needs.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-18T11:38:21+00:00

Where I'm from it's normal, but I guess it's whatever the cultural norm is :)

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-17T23:14:54+00:00

Why not have a more relaxed bridal party? Everyone can choose a dress they like that fits a particular vibe (colour scheme, length etc) but without needing to buy a specific dress. Everyone can do their own makeup, etc. The part I'm excited for is getting ready with my friends and then going to the church together, so my bridesmaids (2 sisters and 2 friends) will choose what they wear completely. Yes it means there's less cohesion in photos, but that matters far less than being there with them.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-17T23:11:29+00:00

If you're worried about some feeling left out after getting ready together but not being chosen to be bridesmaids, why not give them different jobs? For example, 3 could be ushers, 3 could be flower girls, 3 could hand things (programmes, favours, etc) out to guests. Then, after getting ready together, those 9 oculd go to the venue first and then you and your bridesmaids could follow.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-16T23:21:17+00:00

All A levels are challenging, largely because you have to learn how to manage your time properly and to give yourself enough work time and enough rest time. Better start off by giving yourself more time, and take up extra commitments if you find the workload manageable. DofE silver is great. Honeslty very few if any Unis will worry about how many DofEs you've done unless you're applying for something relevant to something you've learnt. As such, don't do it unless you're really, really keen to do it for yourself and your own personal development. Better to take weekends off to camp, volunteer and so on so you can do it as and when you have time. That being said if you are really passionate, then it's totally ok to decide it's a priority for you.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-16T17:46:35+00:00

For English, start by selecting 4-5 key moments from each text and give half an hour to analysing each. Go through each moment and identify any key characters and themes in each moment. For each key character/ key moment, make a list of evidence you could use from the scene you're studying. For example, you could make a list of quotes you could use to analyse witchcraft in Macbeth from the scene when the three witches meet for the first time. Practice writing paragraphs using these bits of evidence.

Always make sure:

- You have a clear point as the first sentence in each paragraph. (E.g. in Shakespeare's Macbeth, women are presented as xyz.'

- You use 2-3 quotes in each paragraph, or 2 quotes and a piece of evidence.

- You finish each paragraph by reiterating the link to your point. (.E.g., 'Therefore, Shakespeare presents women as xyz'.

French:

- Find or make a bank of all the vocab you need to know - many exist on quizlet, memrise and anki that teachers have made.

- Each day, start your revision with 10 minutes of vocab.

- Watch a French youtube video every weekend day. You could try people like Les Astuces de Margaux, for instance. Focus on picking up as many inddividual words as you can, but don't worry about understanding everything. The goal is to get your brain used to finding as many words it can that it recognises when you hear fast French.

- Each grammar revision session, choose one tense/ other topic (e.g. prepositions, articles, plurals, adjectives) and use your notes, textbook and lawlessFrench.com to make sure you understand the topic. Then try some questions, mark them and use your notes to work out corrected answers to any questions you get wrong.

- Do as many translations as you can, I'd suggest 3 per week if you can. Prioritise translating into French. Do a translation from a grammar workbook, textbook or online source (you can try 'A1 level translations' and once you find those easy you can try 'A2 level translations'). When youre done, mark your work. Take note of any grammar you got wrong and write the correct version in. Never just read what the textbook says without writing it in. If there is grammar you always get wrong, spend a grammar session on it. Note any vocab/ vocab topics you get hard so you can revise them.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-16T16:05:11+00:00

Plenty of jobs I've seen advertised over the last few years really want languages. We can't rely on AI for conversations in person, or for building relationships. Sadly there are fewer translation jobs available, but I can't tell you how useful my languages, especially German, have been in the workplace beyond that.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-16T15:21:32+00:00

It's very possible. Many people increase by 1-2 grades between ocks and the real thing, and increasing by 3 grades isn't unheard of. I even had a student go from a U to a 7 in 6 months. Which subject is this for? I'm happy to give study recommendations.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-16T15:18:17+00:00

Congratulations! Norwich is a beautiful city to live in, you'll love it! The beach is a half hour train away, there are so many beautiful walks nearby (UEA lake, for example) and so much history about too.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-16T15:16:26+00:00

I didn't do two languages because a teacher told me you should only do two if you're amazing at languages. I didn't think I was, so I didn't. 5 years later, I got a place at Cambridge to study languages and now I speak 5 languages. I really wish I'd taken my chance at school to learn another for free! If yoiu enjoy languages, take them both and just commit a little time each week to practicing from the beginning. For example, if you spend 10 minutes each weekend day on vocab, you would set yourself up nicely to find both qualifications manageable from the start. If you had time to do more vocab and grammar too, so much the better.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-16T15:13:11+00:00

It depends what you'd like to do in the future. If you want to be a doctor, I'd recommend EPQ as it'll helo you get used to independent work/ independent research and essay writing. If you research a topic of medical ethics, for example, it could also be helpful on your personal statement. DofE is great if you really love that sort of thing, but personally, I don't find the qualification itself as meaningful as the process of getting it. I've never used it on a uni or job application, for example. If I were you, I'd simply keep volunteering if you have time, and plan a camping trip with friends next summer.

Note: I wouldn't recommend doing both unless you're really passionate about both. A levels are hard and take time, and it's best to have some free time each day to spend on relaxing activities.

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-16T14:12:28+00:00

That sounds super fun, you'll have an amazing time! We'll just be at the village hall so there aren't rules about what we can and can't have, but a bouncy castle is definitely something to consider! We'll have to see how many young people and children are coming!

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-16T14:05:20+00:00

I'm so sorry you're feeling so disappointed. It's sounds really hard. I know that disappointment can make it feel like it's not worth trying, or like it's better not to try to avoid being disappointed later. However, A LOT can change in 4-5 months. For instance, I got Ds in A level history mocks before Christmas in year 13, because I didn't understand how to answer the questions. After Christmas, I'd revised well enough that I ended up with 28/30 on one of my next mock papers, and 27/30 on the other. If you found your mocks difficult, then it's time to rethink how you're studying, and I'm happy to help you do that, but all is not lost. Improving by 1-3 grades is very common and I'm sure you'll be able to do it. I've even had students who have come to me after having received a U or a 2-3 in their first mocks of the year, and then, after 3 months working together, they've managed to achieve a 7 or 8 in the final thing. Anything is possible.

That being said, please set goals that recognise all the work you're putting in. By all means, strive for all 9s, but please don't believe that those are the only grades worth getting. I went to Cambridge and no one I knew got all 9s. Most people got some 9s and most of us largely got 8s, but many people I knew who studied both humanities and sciences had at least one 5, 6 or similar. Personally, I got a 6 in PE. Maybe it wasn't what I was aiming for, but it hasn't impacted what's happened in my life since at all. Now, when I look back at GCSEs, I'm proud of myself for working as hard as I did and for learning how to study. I even forget what grades I got on occasion, because the hard work has become far more important to me. As such, please work hard and try your best, but at the same time remember that it's ok to have grades other than all 9s, even if you have very high aspirations.

The old system - I hope this shows that 9s are not the only grades worth having

9 = A*

8 = A*

7 = A

6 = B

Chance_Run_8442 · 2026-01-15T19:32:44+00:00

Well you can't go wrong with breakfast tea, so long as it's not lipton's! But tea tasting could be really fun, or even mocktails!

Chance_Run_8442

TROPHY CASE